Moving in with his mom?

[somedude81]

It was touched upon earlier in the thread but I'll explain incase it was missed.

Thanks, I did miss it.

 

I used to have a great job and my own apartment. I got laid off unexpectedly, could not afford my place anymore, and had to move quick. This is where I ended up. I now have a pretty crappy job, have been trying to find a better one, but for right now, income is income, so I take the crappy job. Until I can get back to a better paying job so I can afford rent on an apartment, I'm stuck. Which is another reason why my boyfriend thought it would be better that I live with him and his mom than to be here.

 

Yeah I get the impression that you feel stuck.

 

Would it be possible for you to find roommates, or rent a room somewhere so you get out of your bad situation, without having to move in with your boyfriend and his mom.

[Phoe]

It seems like he has quite a bit on his plate. He goes to seminary AND has a high paying job AND you say he has sex with you several times a day. When does this poor guy sleep? Maybe you should encourage him to reduce his commitments so he doesn't burn himself out, rather than taking on more of an obligation with an apartment. The cost of going to seminary school is not cheap. I would think he would want to save on expenses and it would make sense to continue to live with his mother while he is in college so he doesn't have a huge college debt to pay off when he graduates.

 

I'm not trying to force him to move out at all. It was entirely his idea. I never even brought it up. I simply agreed. He changed his mind and wanted me to move in with him and his mom instead, which I am not okay with doing. So we will continue to live separately.

 

 

His schooling is private, so the cost is not terribly high.

[Phoe]

Yeah I get the impression that you feel stuck.

 

Would it be possible for you to find roommates, or rent a room somewhere so you get out of your bad situation, without having to move in with your boyfriend and his mom.

 

 

 

I don't do well living with strangers, bad experiences with roommates in the past makes me very hesitant to ever live with a stranger again. I've had things stolen, I've had to call cops when a roommates boyfriend threw her into the bathroom mirror, my cats been messed with, water thrown on her... when I rented a room in a house once the owner of the house was a perv and creeped on me, set up cameras in strange places, once again had to call the cops. I just don't trust anyone to share a home with me.

 

 

I legitimately would sooner live with his mom than a stranger.

 

 

I just have to make the best of my current arrangements for a few more months.

[KathyM]

we will continue to live separately.

Sounds like a good plan.

 

His schooling is private, so the cost is not terribly high.

The private seminaries I know of in Southern Cal are all pretty expensive to attend. I would suggest encouraging him to get his education finished as soon as possible, while saving on expenses by living at home. Three months is also way too early to be talking about marriage, so I would suggest you take your time to get to know him better in order to determine your compatibility for the long term. Sex can cloud a person's judgment, and cause them to ignore or downplay major compatibility differences that will undermine the relationship in the long term.

[somedude81]

I don't do well living with strangers, bad experiences with roommates in the past makes me very hesitant to ever live with a stranger again. I've had things stolen, I've had to call cops when a roommates boyfriend threw her into the bathroom mirror, my cats been messed with, water thrown on her... when I rented a room in a house once the owner of the house was a perv and creeped on me, set up cameras in strange places, once again had to call the cops. I just don't trust anyone to share a home with me.

 

 

I legitimately would sooner live with his mom than a stranger.

 

 

I just have to make the best of my current arrangements for a few more months.

Wow, those suck. I've never had anything like that happen.

 

Maybe living with a woman, somebody 40+?

 

The way I see it, you living with your grandparents is a bad situation and you need to get out of there.

 

But it's also way too soon to move in with your BF, regardless if his mom is there or not.

[isisisweeping]

Have y'all sat down and had a discussion with no preconceptions? Is he worried about his mom? How can you work on it together to make sure everything is met?

 

 

In my book, dedication to one's family is a good sign.

[Els]

Unfortunately, he's tried being physically abusive towards me at times, and has attempted kicking me out as well. He hates me. Always has. I do not know why. All I know is I don't want a repeat scene of him chasing me through the house trying to hit me because I asked if he had eaten my peanut butter. Also, he's a bit of a gun enthusiast, so I don't want my boyfriend here if my grandfather gets angry.

 

 

Until I can afford my own place or can move out with my boyfriend, I am stuck here, unfortunately.

 

Oh my lord.

 

Phoe, don't rely on moving in with a boyfriend to solve your problems here. I suspect that these living conditions are imposing an artificial hurry in you wanting to move in together and that may not be the best foundation for an R. Any R.

 

I know that you have bad experiences with roommates, but if you get a short lease you can move to another place quite quickly if your roommates prove to be bitches. And not all roommates are bad - I disliked living with people but I survived 4 years of it.

 

Obviously it is better to live with a partner whom you can trust, but if you are rushing towards that goal, there may not be a partner at all.