MM/Childsupport UPDATE!

[Trimmer]

When my best friend was 18 years old, she found out that one of her classmates was her brother. Her real father had left her mom during pregnancy, and she remarried to the man she considers her father...however at age 18, she was asked out by the brother as neither of them had any idea.

The pronouns have me confused, and slightly alarmed... Please tell me that this means: Her real father had left her mom during pregnancy, and she [mom] remarried to the man she [daughter] considers her father...

[whichwayisup]

, because they will want her income too.

 

Are you implying that his wife will be paying part of the CS for you??

[hurtnomorerika]

Are you implying that his wife will be paying part of the CS for you??

 

 

No, what Im saying is, They will use her income along with his income to calculate how much he can pay. Example, he makes 50,000 a year, she makes 30,000. They will add those together and come up with an amount for him to pay. NOTHING will come out her paycheck.

[Keenly]

No, what Im saying is, They will use her income along with his income to calculate how much he can pay. Example, he makes 50,000 a year, she makes 30,000. They will add those together and come up with an amount for him to pay. NOTHING will come out her paycheck.

 

Yeah, I don't think this is how it works.

[hurtnomorerika]

Yeah, I don't think this is how it works.

 

Since you dont "think" that's how it works. Research it and come back and tell me what you find out.

[Keenly]

Since you dont "think" that's how it works. Research it and come back and tell me what you find out.

 

Doesn't really make a whole lot of sense to factor in a third parties income , fro. a legal standpoint. Its not her income that will be garnished. Its his. I highly doubt they will take more of his just because she has a job.

 

 

I am no stranger to family court, or going through it.

 

Usually they factor in on the income and expense report what bills are paid jointly, but I doubt they will ask for her income and pay stub info.

Edited February 10, 2014 by Keenly

[krazikat]

Since you dont "think" that's how it works. Research it and come back and tell me what you find out.

 

From my experience it is only based on the actual parents income and other children he has as well as other expenses. There will be various worksheets to fill out where he will put all bills he currently pays and children in and out of the home. It will likely be based on his income only. It may vary depending on what state you are in, but his attorney will help him navigate. So there is a chance it could be reduced since he had not previously provided information for accurate support calculations. If he only makes $50k that is not allot of money and $850 does seem high for that amount... In my experience, the support amount was in the $250/m range. Again, this will depend on statutes in your state.

[hurtnomorerika]

Doesn't really make a whole lot of sense to factor in a third parties income , fro. a legal standpoint. Its not her income that will be garnished. Its his. I highly doubt they will take more of his just because she has a job.

 

 

I am no stranger to family court, or going through it.

 

Usually they factor in on the income and expense report what bills are paid jointly, but I doubt they will ask for her income and pay stub info.

 

 

Like I said before, do your research before you speak on it. Different states, different laws.

 

I never said they would take MORE, what I said was, IF he gets an attorney they will look into both incomes and recalculate how much HE can afford to pay.

 

He's also 4,000 behind in payments, IF, they file their taxes jointly, their refund can be garnished.

[Snipercatt]

They will use her income along with his income to calculate how much he can pay.

 

Yep, under certain circumstances; it happens.

[cozycottagelg]

The pronouns have me confused, and slightly alarmed... Please tell me that this means: Her real father had left her mom during pregnancy, and she [mom] remarried to the man she [daughter] considers her father...

 

Sorry, she remarried = her mother remarried.

[Lady2163]

Different states have different rules and different cost of living.

 

But, I'd be willing to be the majority of posters here couldn't let $850 a month just vanish from their income without going, "ouch". That is my mortgage payment!

 

So, I'm not surprised he's fighting it, and I would be stunned if he wins. I just can't get over the stupidity of putting his head in the sand and thinking it will go away!

[GreySkyMorning]

Doesn't really make a whole lot of sense to factor in a third parties income , fro. a legal standpoint. Its not her income that will be garnished. Its his. I highly doubt they will take more of his just because she has a job.

 

 

I am no stranger to family court, or going through it.

 

Usually they factor in on the income and expense report what bills are paid jointly, but I doubt they will ask for her income and pay stub info.

 

In my area, they would take her income into consideration, but only as a factor of how much more of his income would be available. If she is paying into the household and helping to support their children, then more of his income is available for child support, as opposed to if he were the sole support of all the children.

 

And yes, they can garnish a joint refund, but she could get her portion of it back only.

[whichwayisup]

No, what Im saying is, They will use her income along with his income to calculate how much he can pay. Example, he makes 50,000 a year, she makes 30,000. They will add those together and come up with an amount for him to pay. NOTHING will come out her paycheck.

 

Then she is going to find out.

 

I really do not understand why you haven't got your lawyer to write her an official letter about this? If her finances are going to be looked into, she has a right to know. And she has a right to know that some her husbands income will be allocated to your baby.

 

So if she was not working, then he would be obviously be paying less CS to you.

[hurtnomorerika]

Different states have different rules and different cost of living.

 

But, I'd be willing to be the majority of posters here couldn't let $850 a month just vanish from their income without going, "ouch". That is my mortgage payment!

 

So, I'm not surprised he's fighting it, and I would be stunned if he wins. I just can't get over the stupidity of putting his head in the sand and thinking it will go away!

 

I know, he is that scared of BS finding out. Goodness gracious!

[GreySkyMorning]

Then she is going to find out.

 

I really do not understand why you haven't got your lawyer to write her an official letter about this? If her finances are going to be looked into, she has a right to know. And she has a right to know that some her husbands income will be allocated to your baby.

 

So if she was not working, then he would be obviously be paying less CS to you.

 

I would say that since he didnt supply documentation about his income, the current order is probably based on his income alone. I could see where it could potentially go up.

[hurtnomorerika]

Then she is going to find out.

 

I really do not understand why you haven't got your lawyer to write her an official letter about this? If her finances are going to be looked into, she has a right to know. And she has a right to know that some her husbands income will be allocated to your baby.

 

So if she was not working, then he would be obviously be paying less CS to you.

 

My lawyer and I have a meeting as soon as I leave work to discuss the next steps. All of this will only take place IF he goes through with getting a lawyer (thats the only way it will go back to court) only time will tell. If he chooses to not obtain representation, then the judgement will stand as is, he will pay the $850, and BS will never have anything to do it.

[hurtnomorerika]

I would say that since he didnt supply documentation about his income, the current order is probably based on his income alone. I could see where it could potentially go up.

 

Right! We both were told on the papers that we were served (that he chose to ignore) to bring the last 3 checkstubs and last years tax documents. I did that, he didnt show up to represent himself. The caseworker had to look up his income. The current order is just based on his income alone. I believe BS is a manager at a retail store so in my area she may be making $12-15 if not more an hour.

[HermioneG]

It makes me very uncomfortable to read these speculations about the BS contributing to the support of a child created during an affair that she doesn't know about.

 

If she divorces him, then does your child support drop?

 

I cannot imagine the position this affair has placed the betrayed in- and Ericka- I feel empathy for your child, but I am unsettled by your speculation into her income as support for a child conceived in the utter deceit of her.

 

I hope that makes sense.

 

I absolutely agree that he should support your child. But I don't think his existing children of the marriage should have a reduced standard of living based on both parents' income. It just seems wrong.

 

But I guess that is why this story is what it is- a cautionary tale for everyone involved. Even the one who had zero say in this.

[yellowmaverick]

It makes me very uncomfortable to read these speculations about the BS contributing to the support of a child created during an affair that she doesn't know about.

 

If she divorces him, then does your child support drop?

 

I cannot imagine the position this affair has placed the betrayed in- and Ericka- I feel empathy for your child, but I am unsettled by your speculation into her income as support for a child conceived in the utter deceit of her.

 

I hope that makes sense.

 

I absolutely agree that he should support your child. But I don't think his existing children of the marriage should have a reduced standard of living based on both parents' income. It just seems wrong.

 

But I guess that is why this story is what it is- a cautionary tale for everyone involved. Even the one who had zero say in this.

 

I agree. The innocents in all of this - his wife and their children - will pay the greatest price for the selfish (and senseless, assuming that it wasn't planned by the OW) actions of two people.

[Lady2163]

But spouses (and children) pay for transgressions (Rika, I don't mean that to be insulting) ALL the time!

 

Your spouse is admitted to the ER. Five months later they still have not paid the bill. The small claims lawsuit filed by the hospital will include you as well.

 

Your spouse gets a DUI, OWI. The fine, lawyer, court costs will cost $5000. Your spouse does not have money in a jar somewhere that he saved from the family that was just his. You both end up paying. That $5000 *could* have gone to something a lot better.

 

You are not home. Your spouse gets into a heated arguement with a neighbor. Out of nowhere, your family dog bites the neighbor. Do you think he is going to sue Bowser? Nope, even though you weren't home, your named in the lawsuit...and when your homeowners insurance goes up, you really wish Bowser hadn't been outside!

 

We pay when spouses play or misbehave. Why should this be any different?

[Keenly]

But spouses (and children) pay for transgressions (Rika, I don't mean that to be insulting) ALL the time!

 

Your spouse is admitted to the ER. Five months later they still have not paid the bill. The small claims lawsuit filed by the hospital will include you as well.

 

Your spouse gets a DUI, OWI. The fine, lawyer, court costs will cost $5000. Your spouse does not have money in a jar somewhere that he saved from the family that was just his. You both end up paying. That $5000 *could* have gone to something a lot better.

 

You are not home. Your spouse gets into a heated arguement with a neighbor. Out of nowhere, your family dog bites the neighbor. Do you think he is going to sue Bowser? Nope, even though you weren't home, your named in the lawsuit...and when your homeowners insurance goes up, you really wish Bowser hadn't been outside!

 

We pay when spouses play or misbehave. Why should this be any different?

 

 

Is this a real question? Seems to me we are switching lanes from supporting a child into revenge mode.

[ThatsJustHowIRoll]

I see what you're saying, but I dont care if he's left with nothing.

 

Yeah, im with Hermoine on this.

 

Erika, no dispute this man has to pony up aand support his child. I was totally with you ...until you made the comment above...

 

Leaving him with nothing means his wife and children - the innocent parties which you had a hand in betraying - suffer too.

 

I get your angry, I do. But he didnt make this situation alone....

[stillafool]

I know, he is that scared of BS finding out. Goodness gracious!

 

I think most men in his position would feel and maybe do the same thing. He stands to lose everything he loves. It's a bad situation for eveyone involved.

[HermioneG]

But spouses (and children) pay for transgressions (Rika, I don't mean that to be insulting) ALL the time!

 

Your spouse is admitted to the ER. Five months later they still have not paid the bill. The small claims lawsuit filed by the hospital will include you as well.

 

Your spouse gets a DUI, OWI. The fine, lawyer, court costs will cost $5000. Your spouse does not have money in a jar somewhere that he saved from the family that was just his. You both end up paying. That $5000 *could* have gone to something a lot better.

 

You are not home. Your spouse gets into a heated arguement with a neighbor. Out of nowhere, your family dog bites the neighbor. Do you think he is going to sue Bowser? Nope, even though you weren't home, your named in the lawsuit...and when your homeowners insurance goes up, you really wish Bowser hadn't been outside!

 

We pay when spouses play or misbehave. Why should this be any different?

 

 

I suppose it feels different because an affair involves not just "playing or misbehaving" but the deliberate deception of the party who then has to pay.

[bentleychic]

The innocent parties = his W, their children AND the MM & Erika's baby girl. SHE is an innocent, too. Whether she was conceived in a relationship that people disagree with or not does not make her any less innocent or worthy of as much support as the MM's other children.