MM/Childsupport UPDATE!

[Lady2163]

I agree. The innocents in all of this - his wife and their children - will pay the greatest price for the selfish (and senseless, assuming that it wasn't planned by the OW) actions of two people.

 

Okay, I wanted to wait a few minutes, because the way this post is going is really obnoxious and it pisses me off.

 

I am almost certain this was one of those affairs where Rika, the OW did not know he was married. She THOUGHT they were boyfriend and girlfriend. Then shortly after she found out he was married, she ended things. Then she found out she was pregnant. Maybe birth control failed. Maybe he lied about being sterile. Maybe they both chose not to use contraception.

 

I'm pretty sure I remember she is the one who told this story.

 

SHE is also an innocent, betrayed party in this equation. So is HER child. Everyone seems to have overwhelming sympathy for the unknowing BS. Well, guess what? Will the BS have to read insults in an online forum? You've accused the OP of "planning" this. Do you think she thought she would score a ton of money from him? Or force him into leaving his wife so they could ride off into the sunset? WH husband has two children, with two women born how many months apart? WH has been a total dick to this OW. He SHOULD pay, in more ways than one.

 

Rika has exercised some enormous self control. I couldn't have done it. I wouldn't have done it. I would have been on his doorstep long before the baby was born. I would have had a conversation with the wife. I wouldn't have left things to the courts and government to decide.

 

And on another topic. In the 1990s in California, if you got a DUI, you were guaranteed it would cost you at least $5000. Both my husband and I were in the military. I made $612 a month after taxes. He made maybe $750 after taxes. We didn't have savings. I told him if he got a DUI, he would also be facing a divorce. He was very angry about that. I told him if he was stupid enough to blow 4 months...1/3 of our income for a year because he was too macho to call a cab or call me to come get him, then he could be macho enough to pay that bill all by himself. A DUI would have wiped out the little savings we had and made us a one car family. We would have been destitute. I didn't think that kind of blatant disregard for another deserved to have a loyal spouse standing by his side.

[thinkingofhim]

IMO, the BS's responsibility is to her own children, NOT Rikas regardless of what MM has done. While Rikas daughter is an innocent that deserves support from her biodad, going after the BS's income just seems cruel and immoral to me.

[ThatsJustHowIRoll]

The innocent parties = his W, their children AND the MM & Erika's baby girl. SHE is an innocent, too. Whether she was conceived in a relationship that people disagree with or not does not make her any less innocent or worthy of as much support as the MM's other children.

 

I dont think anyone is disputing that.

[Keenly]

Okay, I wanted to wait a few minutes, because the way this post is going is really obnoxious and it pisses me off.

 

I am almost certain this was one of those affairs where Rika, the OW did not know he was married. She THOUGHT they were boyfriend and girlfriend. Then shortly after she found out he was married, she ended things. Then she found out she was pregnant. Maybe birth control failed. Maybe he lied about being sterile. Maybe they both chose not to use contraception.

 

I'm pretty sure I remember she is the one who told this story.

 

SHE is also an innocent, betrayed party in this equation. So is HER child. Everyone seems to have overwhelming sympathy for the unknowing BS. Well, guess what? Will the BS have to read insults in an online forum? You've accused the OP of "planning" this. Do you think she thought she would score a ton of money from him? Or force him into leaving his wife so they could ride off into the sunset? WH husband has two children, with two women born how many months apart? WH has been a total dick to this OW. He SHOULD pay, in more ways than one.

 

Rika has exercised some enormous self control. I couldn't have done it. I wouldn't have done it. I would have been on his doorstep long before the baby was born. I would have had a conversation with the wife. I wouldn't have left things to the courts and government to decide.

 

And on another topic. In the 1990s in California, if you got a DUI, you were guaranteed it would cost you at least $5000. Both my husband and I were in the military. I made $612 a month after taxes. He made maybe $750 after taxes. We didn't have savings. I told him if he got a DUI, he would also be facing a divorce. He was very angry about that. I told him if he was stupid enough to blow 4 months...1/3 of our income for a year because he was too macho to call a cab or call me to come get him, then he could be macho enough to pay that bill all by himself. A DUI would have wiped out the little savings we had and made us a one car family. We would have been destitute. I didn't think that kind of blatant disregard for another deserved to have a loyal spouse standing by his side.

what does any of this have to do with child support and the LAW?

 

Child support is not based on vengeance or " how much of a d**k" the man is being.

[underwater2010]

Am I the only one hoping that when his BW finds out the depth of all this....she divorces his butt and takes for alimony and child support too?

 

 

Bottom line is your daughter deserves to financially supported by both parties. Good for you that the court gave you an amount that is close to a two parent household. I personally wouldn't count on it remaining the same though. My guess is that it gets lowered.

 

 

I also think that if the court truly takes into account his BW's income, its crap. You both have screwed her over....royally. To bad the court won't take that into account.

[Lady2163]

what does any of this have to do with child support and the LAW?

 

Child support is not based on vengeance or " how much of a d**k" the man is being.

 

The law and justice are blind. He is to pay $850 a month in child support as is mandated by his state law.

 

Erika doesn't have to be blind. She CAN make comments about the sweetness of vengeance. We don't know all the details, except that MM had nothing to,do with her through all or most of the pregnancy. He left her to go through this time alone. He has treated her poorly, and this is karma talking back now.

 

If he did no research, he probably thought if his wages were garnished, he could hide the loss of income from his wife. He probably hoped Erika would abort, give the child up for adoption or just whimper away, never to be heard from again. Worst case scenario, he's out a couple hundred bucks a month for 18 years...well, no more morning latte.

 

But $850 is a lot more than a morning latte.

 

Hey...judges are allowed to get rankled, they just can't abuse their authority. The judge probably could have held WS in contempt and sworn out a warrant. I had a friend who used to delight in chasing people like this down on Fridays after 500 PM. Small towns, white collar idiot stuck in jail for the weekend.

[HermioneG]

The innocent parties = his W, their children AND the MM & Erika's baby girl. SHE is an innocent, too. Whether she was conceived in a relationship that people disagree with or not does not make her any less innocent or worthy of as much support as the MM's other children.

 

I was very careful to state that Ericka's child deserves support.

 

That child is worthy of support.

 

But so are his other children and his betrayed spouse.

 

One is not more important than the other. So I struggle with it being okay to lessen the other children's support based on his wife's income.

 

At some point- it is not okay. But none of this is. The two people involved created this problem. Ericka and MM.

[Keenly]

The law and justice are blind. He is to pay $850 a month in child support as is mandated by his state law.

 

Erika doesn't have to be blind. She CAN make comments about the sweetness of vengeance. We don't know all the details, except that MM had nothing to,do with her through all or most of the pregnancy. He left her to go through this time alone. He has treated her poorly, and this is karma talking back now.

 

If he did no research, he probably thought if his wages were garnished, he could hide the loss of income from his wife. He probably hoped Erika would abort, give the child up for adoption or just whimper away, never to be heard from again. Worst case scenario, he's out a couple hundred bucks a month for 18 years...well, no more morning latte.

 

But $850 is a lot more than a morning latte.

 

Hey...judges are allowed to get rankled, they just can't abuse their authority. The judge probably could have held WS in contempt and sworn out a warrant. I had a friend who used to delight in chasing people like this down on Fridays after 500 PM. Small towns, white collar idiot stuck in jail for the weekend.

 

Family court and criminal Court are two completely different entities. You don't issue " warrants " for people that don't show up to child support hearings.

[jellybean89]

The wife's income will not be used to calculate child support - at least not in the US.

 

Going by that logic, the implication is that a stepmom would be stuck paying her hubby's child support and that does not happen.

 

The man's c/s will be determined on various factors on HIS earning potential AND his other children that he supports. it really isn't all that difficult. For the US, there are child support calculators all over the internet that you can plug numbers into.

 

Child support and alimony are two totally separate things; just like child support and visitation. Some states allow overnights to come into play, some don't.

 

The poster is not from the US -- I have no first hand knowledge of those laws except from friends who divorced and at no time was a new wife's income factored into child support.

[HermioneG]

Okay, I wanted to wait a few minutes, because the way this post is going is really obnoxious and it pisses me off.

 

I am almost certain this was one of those affairs where Rika, the OW did not know he was married. She THOUGHT they were boyfriend and girlfriend. Then shortly after she found out he was married, she ended things. Then she found out she was pregnant. Maybe birth control failed. Maybe he lied about being sterile. Maybe they both chose not to use contraception.

 

I'm pretty sure I remember she is the one who told this story.

 

SHE is also an innocent, betrayed party in this equation. So is HER child. Everyone seems to have overwhelming sympathy for the unknowing BS. Well, guess what? Will the BS have to read insults in an online forum? You've accused the OP of "planning" this. Do you think she thought she would score a ton of money from him? Or force him into leaving his wife so they could ride off into the sunset? WH husband has two children, with two women born how many months apart? WH has been a total dick to this OW. He SHOULD pay, in more ways than one.

 

Rika has exercised some enormous self control. I couldn't have done it. I wouldn't have done it. I would have been on his doorstep long before the baby was born. I would have had a conversation with the wife. I wouldn't have left things to the courts and government to decide.

 

And on another topic. In the 1990s in California, if you got a DUI, you were guaranteed it would cost you at least $5000. Both my husband and I were in the military. I made $612 a month after taxes. He made maybe $750 after taxes. We didn't have savings. I told him if he got a DUI, he would also be facing a divorce. He was very angry about that. I told him if he was stupid enough to blow 4 months...1/3 of our income for a year because he was too macho to call a cab or call me to come get him, then he could be macho enough to pay that bill all by himself. A DUI would have wiped out the little savings we had and made us a one car family. We would have been destitute. I didn't think that kind of blatant disregard for another deserved to have a loyal spouse standing by his side.

 

To clarify- she did not know he was married when their relationship began.

 

However- after she found out, she chose to continue their relationship, and after that, became pregnant.

 

That is different than not knowing the man was married and becoming pregnant.

 

*I apologize for the need to correct that. I fear it may be off topic, but I felt the above posting was making an assumption about the circumstance which was false. The OP was a knowing participant in the affair, at the time this occurred.

[Trimmer]

To clarify- she did not know he was married when their relationship began.

 

However- after she found out, she chose to continue their relationship, and after that, became pregnant.

 

That is different than not knowing the man was married and becoming pregnant.

 

*I apologize for the need to correct that. I fear it may be off topic, but I felt the above posting was making an assumption about the circumstance which was false. The OP was a knowing participant in the affair, at the time this occurred.

Since the post you're responding to was based on that fundamental issue as the mitigating factor, it seems reasonable to correct the record.

[Lady2163]

Family court and criminal Court are two completely different entities. You don't issue " warrants " for people that don't show up to child support hearings.

 

 

 

What should I do? Bench warrant issued for failure to appear in court for nonpayment of child support in Wake County, NC. - Avvo.com

 

 

http://www.liftonline.org/guides/pdf/guide_126.pdf

 

How to Clear & Remove California Bench Warrants

 

There called bench warrants...you're kind of a joke at this point, so I won't bother to see how many of the 50 states can issue warrants from Family Court.

[Keenly]

What should I do? Bench warrant issued for failure to appear in court for nonpayment of child support in Wake County, NC. - Avvo.com

 

 

http://www.liftonline.org/guides/pdf/guide_126.pdf

 

How to Clear & Remove California Bench Warrants

 

There called bench warrants...you're kind of a joke at this point, so I won't bother to see how many of the 50 states can issue warrants from Family Court.

 

 

You can personally attack me all you'd like, but it seems like people are agreeing with me.

 

If I'm a joke, what does that you when you go digging for gold?

 

 

Cool, you got me on bench warrants, congrats. I have no problem.admitting when I'm incorrect. But you have yet to legally justify going after OWs money. Its greed and spite , and boy am I really glad we don't make laws on those.

 

If you can explain to me logically and legally why OW should fork over money too, I'm all ears.

[bentleychic]

I dont think anyone is disputing that.

I saw a lot saying the BW and their children are the innocents. Just wanted to point out that Erika's baby is as well. That's all.

[Keenly]

Upon reading your links... none of these warrants are issued for failure to appear at the initialchild support hearing...

 

So it looks llike I was right. Hmmm... interesting. This joke is starting to get pretty funny.

 

Care to try again ?

[HermioneG]

I saw a lot saying the BW and their children are the innocents. Just wanted to point out that Erika's baby is as well. That's all.

 

Then we all agree.

[Lady2163]

You can personally attack me all you'd like, but it seems like people are agreeing with me.

 

If I'm a joke, what does that you when you go digging for gold?

 

 

Cool, you got me on bench warrants, congrats. I have no problem.admitting when I'm incorrect. But you have yet to legally justify going after OWs money. Its greed and spite , and boy am I really glad we don't make laws on those.

 

If you can explain to me logically and legally why OW should fork over money too, I'm all ears.

 

I think you mean BS, where you said OW.

 

Here is my guess...and it is only a guess...

 

MM is going to go in front of the judge and whine he "can't afford that much in child support". Judge is possibly going to require a thorough listing of assets and liabilities with verification for both. The wife's income will be used as a joint asset.

 

I don't think Erika is going to get $2000 a month child supprt, which would be 25% of their COMBINED income. But, I think she will continue to get $850, because, yes, MM can afford it.

 

No, I don't think they BS spouse should have to directly pay child support, but as with previous examples, if you marry someone you are trusting them not just to not cheat or abuse you, but you are trusting them not to financially ruin you or make you a crimminal conspirator. Which, no, crimminal is not the issue in child support.

 

This actually happened to a person close to me. Her boyfriend had three children with his first wife. At the start of the divorce, he had gone to court to ask to have child support lowered. He truly couldn't afford it. Years later, he marries. First wife went back to court and asked for child support to be raised. Sure enough, second wife's pay counted as a joint asset and child support was raised.

 

So, no she wasn't directly paying for her stepchildren. Now, this is a parallel example, but not the same thing as when they BS finds out about the OW and child.

[Lady2163]

You can personally attack me all you'd like, but it seems like people are agreeing with me.

 

If I'm a joke, what does that you when you go digging for gold?

 

 

Cool, you got me on bench warrants, congrats. I have no problem.admitting when I'm incorrect. But you have yet to legally justify going after OWs money. Its greed and spite , and boy am I really glad we don't make laws on those.

 

If you can explain to me logically and legally why OW should fork over money too, I'm all ears.

 

You can personally attack me all you'd like, but it seems like people are agreeing with me.

 

If I'm a joke, what does that you when you go digging for gold?

 

 

Cool, you got me on bench warrants, congrats. I have no problem.admitting when I'm incorrect. But you have yet to legally justify going after OWs money. Its greed and spite , and boy am I really glad we don't make laws on those.

 

If you can explain to me logically and legally why OW should fork over money too, I'm all ears.

 

I think you mean BS, where you said OW.

 

Here is my guess...and it is only a guess...

 

MM is going to go in front of the judge and whine he "can't afford that much in child support". Judge is possibly going to require a thorough listing of assets and liabilities with verification for both. The wife's income will be used as a joint asset.

 

I don't think Erika is going to get $2000 a month child supprt, which would be 25% of their COMBINED income. But, I think she will continue to get $850, because, yes, MM can afford it.

 

No, I don't think they BS spouse should have to directly pay child support, but as with previous examples, if you marry someone you are trusting them not just to not cheat or abuse you, but you are trusting them not to financially ruin you or make you a crimminal conspirator. Which, no, crimminal is not the issue in child support.

 

This actually happened to a person close to me. Her boyfriend had three children with his first wife. At the start of the divorce, he had gone to court to ask to have child support lowered. He truly couldn't afford it. Years later, he marries. First wife went back to court and asked for child support to be raised. Sure enough, second wife's pay counted as a joint asset and child support was raised.

 

So, no she wasn't directly paying for her stepchildren. Now, this is a parallel example, but not the same thing as when they BS finds out about the OW and child.

[Lady2163]

Upon reading your links... none of these warrants are issued for failure to appear at the initialchild support hearing...

 

So it looks llike I was right. Hmmm... interesting. This joke is starting to get pretty funny.

 

Care to try again ?

 

Nope, you take the time to find me the legal code that says family court judges CAN'T issue them for any and all appearances. Knock yourself out, sunshine.

[hurtnomorerika]

Since the posts I've made are being taken out of context and words are being put into my mouth I will not be posting about this any further. Is it wrong to consider her income in this? YES, Did I make the rules? NO I'm simply stated FACTS. Then for someone to say I planned this whole massacre....I'm too outdone.

 

You all can have at it. Thanks for the comments, opinions, etc.

 

Good day.

[Keenly]

Nope, you take the time to find me the legal code that says family court judges CAN'T issue them for any and all appearances. Knock yourself out, sunshine.

 

The onus of proof is on the person making a claim to prove it, not the disbeliever to disprove it.

 

Personally, I've been to four hearings. Each hearing has between a dozen and two dozen cases each. About 30-40% of the men don't show up. For women it was somewhere between 15 and 25% . No warrants were ever issued.

 

This conversation is really beside the point. If 850$ is not enough , then I question the obligees money management skills.

 

The most he can do is delay, assuming the DNA test confirms. The ticker starts from file date, and not from order date.

 

Arrears can be set so low that the back support will be negligible to the obligee though.

[Lady2163]

Family court and criminal Court are two completely different entities. You don't issue " warrants " for people that don't show up to child support hearings.

 

Prove this is true.

[AlwaysGrowing]

The legal system sure can be difficult to figure out.

 

The part where the spouses income is added to determine CS baffles me. Being that the spouse (whether BS in this sitch or a 2nd marriage) is not a party to the legal action, no legal claims can be made against them for support, how can a court order them to provide financial records to an action that they aren't named in.

 

I hope the courts figure this out quickly so you have resolution and can move forward without this daily uncertainty, confusion, legal game playing. It can be so draining.

[whichwayisup]

Okay, I wanted to wait a few minutes, because the way this post is going is really obnoxious and it pisses me off.

 

I am almost certain this was one of those affairs where Rika, the OW did not know he was married. She THOUGHT they were boyfriend and girlfriend. Then shortly after she found out he was married, she ended things. Then she found out she was pregnant. Maybe birth control failed. Maybe he lied about being sterile. Maybe they both chose not to use contraception.

 

Actually when she found out he was married, she chose to continue the affair. Go back and read her past history, it's all there. His wife had a baby during their affair and when he found out he got his OW (erika) pregnant, that's when he left her and the A ended.

Edited February 11, 2014 by whichwayisup

[krazikat]

The legal system sure can be difficult to figure out.

 

The part where the spouses income is added to determine CS baffles me. Being that the spouse (whether BS in this sitch or a 2nd marriage) is not a party to the legal action, no legal claims can be made against them for support, how can a court order them to provide financial records to an action that they aren't named in.

 

I hope the courts figure this out quickly so you have resolution and can move forward without this daily uncertainty, confusion, legal game playing. It can be so draining.

 

I have never heard of it being added. He will likely fill out paperwork pertaining to his income and expenses so the support amount will likely change, i suspect it will be reduced. Each state is different but I have always seen it to be based on the obligors info.