Josh k Posted February 9, 2014 Share Posted February 9, 2014 (edited) I work in the same building with a girl-friend that I find really attractive. She has a long distance relationship with a boyfriend that's been going on for a little over a year, she visits him every few months, and posts how much she loves him on facebook when they've gotten together. Me and her hang out at work a couple days a week but mostly playfully chat on facebook occasionally. As I became more into her she caught on and I admitted I had strong feelings for her. I told her it was just something I needed to get off my chest and I understood I wasn't going to win her over (she's very materialistic, wants to start a family asap, live the suburbon lifestyle which is not me at all), and she agreed with me that we'd have to just stay friends. We continued to be friends and have playful online chats. No damage done, if anything we became closer "buds". But recently things have gotten more interesting. One day I saw her on the escalator at and I came up behind her, we walked through the exhibits in the museum we work and she stood close to me and was leaving very obvious openings for me to kiss her. I didn't do it, partly from fear (I'm very inexperienced and self-concious) and partly because I was certain she was just baiting me just to put all my cards on the table then to just once again explain to me we couldn't get close. I feel she's into drama even if it's at my expense. But now the flirting has gotten heavier, we joke pervertedly and any time I see her in person now she likes to be close to me, nudge me, and gets sort of close to my face at times. On facebook I recently told her she was sexy and I liked the way she looked in some yoga pants she wore to work one day and I'd be thinking about her in them. She made a passive masturbation joke to me about it, she liked that she makes me horny. She's never told me to ease up or back off when I flirt and lately she wants to see me more at work. So the bottom line is: There's no chance that she'll break up with her boyfriend, he's smart and successful and good to her and I'm just a highschool graduate with a salary under $30k. She also plans to move back to where her boyfriend lives (which is also where her family is). So... should I give in to her luring? Should I make out with her and get physical (not sex, just kissing and feeling) just for fun if she ok's it? I only feel lust for her now and I'm sure it's the same on her side, I get the feeling she just wants to mess around before she has to commit to her current boyfriend foreve. We have no chance of being caught and when we have to cut it off it won't be a problem for either of us I believe. If telling her I basically loved her months ago didn't kill our friendship, making out won't either. Am I evil for fufilling her (and my) wishes, behind her boyfriend's back? Edited February 9, 2014 by Josh k Link to post Share on other sites
MrMeh Posted February 9, 2014 Share Posted February 9, 2014 You are just feeding her ego and she's loving it. Do not get involved with her! You work with her and she has a BF. Keep it in your pants. Link to post Share on other sites
TheyCallMeOx Posted February 9, 2014 Share Posted February 9, 2014 At this point, you have to decide whether to give up your friend, or let her go for someone else. If she's reached a point in her relationship that she would consider doing things behind her boyfriend's back, regardless of how far away he is, that's manipulation. Either she'll do it with you, or someone else. Make your decision, but you can't half-ass it. Either way, you're giving up something...the question is...what do you want to give up? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Josh k Posted February 9, 2014 Author Share Posted February 9, 2014 You are just feeding her ego and she's loving it. Do not get involved with her! You work with her and she has a BF. Keep it in your pants. I know I'm just feeding her ego, but I don't care. Nothing will come of this but it'll be fun if she plays along. She's the one being promiscuous behind her bf's back, let it be on her concience right? She works with me but in a totally different department across the building. I'm only forced to see her about once a month for a certain in-house event. Aside from her maybe having a sudden change of morals and saying we can't fool around anymore I don't see anything negative coming out of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Cakess Posted February 9, 2014 Share Posted February 9, 2014 No way, you're being used. I wouldn't go for it. There are plenty of other girls that you could get involved with that have less complication and that don't cost you your morals. Being with an already involved person can get really sticky, regardless of the situation.. Link to post Share on other sites
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