Finally working up the Courage to change my life and career!!

[Confused5433]

I have waited a very long time to make a drastic decision in my life. For some years now, I have felt the need to do other things with my life. I feel capable and passionate about other issues and types of work that I feel ready to do. 8 is my lucky number!! I have stayed so long in this comfort zone, just taken short little tastes of a life in other places, in other cultures, with different energies, but I always came back home.

 

Now is the time or never!

Every day that passes in this same routine, is a day less that I have the opportunity to experience other things, learn about this life and what I’m capable to contribute to it. I want more. I feel I was born to do more and help others in a larger scale. Science, Issues with 3rd World Countries, Aid, technology, travel, cultures, language and unity are my passions! I want to be in a position that I can help, lead and make ethical decisions for the well-being of others. Provide technologies, education, assistance, change lives and give! My heart is there, and I have been blessed to have been here, but this is not where I should be. Every morning driving to work, I think…’I should be doing something greater with my life’. There was a small flame burning inside of me a few years back, not it a blown out Fire that is flaming and consuming my spirit! I feel I have reached that glass ceiling, I’m asphyxiating under and I have to break free.

 

It will hurt, I will cry, I will be scared and possibly left with glass pieces for a long time that will scar my being and remind me that change hurts. But then I will realize I broke Free!!

I had the courage to take a HUGE risk and see what I can do with myself. Is my past going to haunt me and hurt my potential for a good career? Am I really all that capable of taking the great responsibility of a more demanding job and leadership role? Can I do it? I don’t know, I think I can, but I’m not sure. I’m scared, no, I’m terrified to be back at that place 8yrs ago were I felt I couldn’t get a good job, I wasn’t skilled enough or capable. I have worked up to this job, and have the security to be the leader and my own boss. And now? What?!!

 

Start over.

I have to start over and move, take the leap, get badly hurt, and just Do It! I’m scared, but I’m also excited because I will be Brave and true to myself for the first time. I won’t live one more day of regret. Thinking what if? or imagining myself growing old and doing the same thing. I’m ready, this year is my year of change, of growth, of all the new…I must work up the courage for I only have 6 months to prepare and thrown everything I’ve worked up to in the air, and say ‘screw it, I’m out of here!’

 

I will be BRAVE, I’ll change my mind and be utterly positive, energetic and enthusiastic for my future. I have felt this for a VERY long time, and finally I will make that change and see where this decision will take me. I need change. They say Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I’ve been insane for some years now, and I can’t anymore. I want more challenges, more life experiences, learning and growth, and above all I want Love. To find that one person that shares my common interest and start a new life together. I have been on my own for years, and I’ve travelled, enjoyed my life the best I could. But I don’t want it to be alone anymore. I want to share my experiences. That one person that will be my partner, my friend, my lover, my soulmate. Yes, my soulmate!

 

If I stay where I am, as I live now, I will never find him. I have been in a mundane, working prison, and my time is up.

I will be FREE!! Free to make mistakes, to relax, to do anything I want to do!! I can’t be too ungrateful, because I will miss my coworkers, my great boss, my friends!

I will miss them, and I will cry but I have to find my happiness too and start looking out for my future, and build something beautiful for my life. I want to take care of my own family, my husband/partner, experience the miracle of motherhood, and not be so alone. Not cry anymore of loneliness, but cry because after all these years of waiting and sometimes feeling hopeless, I found it! I was blessed, my destiny was to be build a life together. I’m so ready, so scared too but I have to be Brave!

There is no other option but to Jump and take that leap of Faith!