SolG Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 And yes, by 'V' Day I mean Valentine's Day. For the majority of my life, I didn't even notice it. And then it seemed to creep across the Pacific, along with it's equally annoying cousin Halloween, and in a masterstroke of marketing appears to have completely invaded. It's Hallmark-inspired-crass commercialised-schmaltziness is everywhere at the moment in the lead up to Friday and the lemmings are eating it up! MM and I were by chance away together for the last two Valentine's Days in a row. We didn't exchange tokens or celebrate apart from having a good laugh over a glass of wine about our shared abhorrence of Valentine's Day and the conditioned fervour that surrounds it. We've actually chosen the birthday of a historical figure that we both admire as our 'kind of' equivalent to Valentine's Day. We still don't exchange tokens... it's just a day (along with others) where we take the time to connect and reflect on 'us'. Yet... In the lead up to this Valentine's Day... I'm feeling a bit wistful because we won't be together :-/ Even though I know he and his W are not celebrating, I'm still sad he's with his W and not me... on this day I generally feel contempt for. Confusing. Argh... shoot me now before I break into a sonnet recital and start craving roses! What do you and your MM/MW do for Valentine's Day? What does it mean for you? Or is it just another painful occasion due to the nature of being in an A? Link to post Share on other sites
imperfectangel Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 er he and his w probably are celebrating cos guess what they're m and w! I appreciate it's not a nice thought but don't be that naive p.s they're probably still having sex too Link to post Share on other sites
cocorico Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 What do you and your MM/MW do for Valentine's Day? What does it mean for you? Or is it just another painful occasion due to the nature of being in an A? I used to hate it - fake, commercial, hyped, high stakes. But he is the last of the great romantics, and he would always make a big deal of it. I think, during the A, it was a very painful reminder *for him* of how unromantic his M was, and how he needed to search outside of that for love - making that love all the more precious to him when he found it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
proseandpassion Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 I am buying myself flowers and expensive sex toys. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Realist3 Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 As a guy V-Day has never really meant anything to me. It's just a forced day of BS. We only have three days we do 'celebrate' The eve of each other's birthdays, and Christmas Eve because it is sort of an anniversary for us. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
solostand Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 Last year xMM gave me a fifty dollar bill. I was insulted. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
proseandpassion Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 Last year xMM gave me a fifty dollar bill. I was insulted. What are you, his grandchild? 5 Link to post Share on other sites
solostand Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 He seemed to think I was his child/lover. He said many times that he had "adopted" me. The fifty dollar bill was insulting because, jeepers, can't you buy a card? Besides he was throwing fifties and hundreds at me every second day. Link to post Share on other sites
underwater2010 Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 Last year xMM gave me a fifty dollar bill. I was insulted. I am sorry, but that made me laugh. Of course most men are far from creative on V Day. Link to post Share on other sites
NotOW35 Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 I am going out for dinner with my MM and staying at his place. His house is big and romantic. I'm hoping for jewelry! He bought me clothes for Christmas...not romantic. Link to post Share on other sites
imperfectangel Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 Besides he was throwing fifties and hundreds at me every second day. can he throw some my way please 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 (edited) And yes, by 'V' Day I mean Valentine's Day. For the majority of my life, I didn't even notice it. And then it seemed to creep across the Pacific, along with it's equally annoying cousin Halloween, and in a masterstroke of marketing appears to have completely invaded. It's Hallmark-inspired-crass commercialised-schmaltziness is everywhere at the moment in the lead up to Friday and the lemmings are eating it up! MM and I were by chance away together for the last two Valentine's Days in a row. We didn't exchange tokens or celebrate apart from having a good laugh over a glass of wine about our shared abhorrence of Valentine's Day and the conditioned fervour that surrounds it. We've actually chosen the birthday of a historical figure that we both admire as our 'kind of' equivalent to Valentine's Day. We still don't exchange tokens... it's just a day (along with others) where we take the time to connect and reflect on 'us'. Yet... In the lead up to this Valentine's Day... I'm feeling a bit wistful because we won't be together :-/ Even though I know he and his W are not celebrating, I'm still sad he's with his W and not me... on this day I generally feel contempt for. Confusing. Argh... shoot me now before I break into a sonnet recital and start craving roses! What do you and your MM/MW do for Valentine's Day? What does it mean for you? Or is it just another painful occasion due to the nature of being in an A? Admittedly, I've never understood the disdain for Valentine's Day. It has never been a huge deal to me, that is, I neither cherish it nor abhor it. Some years it's more involved than others, but that's any holiday really, some Christmases for example are more of a big deal than others, depending on what's going on. This year my roommate/great friend is my Valentine, we're getting a couple's massage lol. We actually bought this on Groupon ages ago because doing it as a couple is less expensive, and it so happens the time we have free time to do it is on V-Day, so we decided to make a whole thing of by also doing dinner and a movie, she said the dinner is a surprise, so I don't know where we're going, but it's all quite cute and fun! She's a great bf stand in lol Overall though, V-Day is what you make it, it can mean nothing to you, be a thorn in your side or be a cute and fun day to acknowledge your loved ones in a special way. We were long distance and I think maybe we had 2 or 3 Valentine's days, I don't remember the first one to be honest, the second one he had roses, chocolates and flowers delivered to me and at one point when we kind of were broken up and in sort of NC he sent me some chocolates and a card. I don't think I felt particularly bad about the A on Valentine's Day to be honest, I can more readily think of other occasions and milestones that bothered me way more. I do remember though being upset one Valentine's Day, I think the same one in which he sent me those roses and so on, because he let it slip that he was also shopping for his girlfriend and I picked up on it and then the reality hit me that "my boyfriend" was buying me and his legitimate gf presents at the the same time....smh . I think at the time too I might have thought further about it like even though I got gifts, she did too and she probably would get Valentine's Day sex or would actually spend the day with him. Edited February 10, 2014 by MissBee Link to post Share on other sites
dubliner Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 I will be working with him V day and no doubt hearing the sob stories from him of how he 'had to' buy a card and present for his SO so as not to hurt her feelings/upset the status quo. Just another way to remind myself that my feelings were never high on his list of priorities and keep on moving on. Link to post Share on other sites
dubliner Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 Admittedly, I've never understood the disdain for Valentine's Day. It has never been a huge deal to me, that is, I neither cherish it nor abhor it. Some years it's more involved than others, but that's any holiday really, some Christmases for example are more of a big deal than others, depending on what's going on. This year my roommate/great friend is my Valentine, we're getting a couple's massage lol. We actually bought this on Groupon ages ago because doing it as a couple is less expensive, and it so happens the time we have free time to do it is on V-Day, so we decided to make a whole thing of by also doing dinner and a movie, she said the dinner is a surprise, so I don't know where we're going, but it's all quite cute and fun! She's a great bf stand in lol Overall though, V-Day is what you make it, it can mean nothing to you, be a thorn in your side or be a cute and fun day to acknowledge your loved ones in a special way. A quote attributed to George Patton "Watch what people are cynical about and one can often discover what they lack" very true. Link to post Share on other sites
ray.alb Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 Come on guys, V-Day presents are so forced...you can present your partner everyday and it would be way more romantic:) I'm glad my girl feels the same way:D nevertheless, a huge moneyflow seems to approach us this year^^: ? Spending for Valentine's Day gifts for spouses 2014 | Survey 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glow worm Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 My CM and I have never even brought up the fact that it's Valentine's Day. Honestly, it's never been important to me (my ex and I never celebrated it either.) I feel much lonelier on my birthday, Christmas, and New Years; spending these holidays on my own is one of the real downsides to being in an A. For some reason V Day doesn't bother me at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Realist3 Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 Lewis Black - Valentine's Day - YouTube 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wambo Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 The only thing I'm expecting from my exAp this Valentine Day is her breaking NC yet again. Seriously she had the hump because I either didn't send her a Christmas card or wish her a merry Christmas. After the holidays she gave me that p*ssed off look. Link to post Share on other sites
GatsbyMH Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 Nothing much happening for me since it's too risky right now. He found some text messages from her to me asking me to send her a sexy picture in my uniform. I did so. He found the pictures and was furious. Told her she had to pick him or me. She told him we love each other. They fought and then he started acting like nothing was happening... That nothing is different from before when he found the texts and pictures. :/ So, I have to work and they are having a romantic dinner he arranged. He's pretty well aware that she is leaving him for me. He just doesn't want to face the truth. He's in major denial. I'm just laying low until she leaves him. Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 Many people here had a rough time during the holiday's. I wonder what V-day will be like... I am going out for dinner with my MM and staying at his place. His house is big and romantic. I'm hoping for jewelry! He bought me clothes for Christmas...not romantic. Lucky girl. Where will his W be? Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 We have done the usual as well as romantic trips, etc. This year will be low key and I can't wait to surprise him with the signed by Jamie Foxx "Ray" poster to hang in his man cave. We happened to meet Jamie Foxx on our honeymoon as well so it is going to be extra special! Also gives him his first movie poster to hang in his man cave. This year I foresee us mucking stalls, shoveling snow, and digging our way out of this snow storm! Link to post Share on other sites
goodyblue Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 My guy is a lot more romantic than I am. He always plans things and I just sort of show up, so I'm trying to be more romantic this year. We'll stay in and have dinner, exchange trinkets. Our first Christmas he gave me a beautiful tree ornament, other things, and a card that talked all about how wonderful it was to have our first Christmas together, how great it felt. I gave him a hat. But I'm working on it. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts