tlegend Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 Then why are you so worked up about this guy? If you don't want anything from him, it should be easy to tell him to calm down and stop flirting. Your actions don't match your written intentions. Oh the woes of understanding females. She wants it, but she doesn't want it. The guy is a douche, plain and simple. I think we can all agree he is obviously looking for a replacement gf. You already know he isn't trustworthy. What more do you need to know? You aren't making it any better entertaining his shenanigans. Get attention from someone available. What goes around comes around. My 2 cents. Link to post Share on other sites
BlessYourCottonSocks Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 You know what a mature "woman" would do? She would go up to his desk, in front of everyone, and say, "Listen here Rico Suave, go take your chocolates and your cute little note and give them to your girlfriend, I'm not interested." I mean, really? You wouldn't want this done to you, yet you are still giving him a clear sign that it's okay to keep going. This is not okay. You need to realize that he WILL do this to you too. He is bored with his girlfriend and you are just excitement. That's all. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
FnlyFrei Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 SOME guys...are always on the make. I had a horrible and traumatic break up with my ex husband. I work with mostly men....gosh, and the ones with girlfriends and wives were the first ones to come up to me to "comfort" me. (Asking me out to lunch/dinner/bed) It came as a real shock to me, because none of them had ever hit on me before. I realized that they were complete jerks, with me at my most vulnerable, they did not want to help me, they wanted to USE me at a perceived weak point ! I did eventually get asked out by a single guy, and we are still together a little over two years later. Do not waste your affections on this person. It is a huge red flag that he has someone and still is trying to make time with you ! And guess what? If you did end up with him, he would be making time with someone else when you weren't around. Wait for a good guy. They are out there ! Link to post Share on other sites
Author faithfully Posted February 11, 2014 Author Share Posted February 11, 2014 I am not in a relationship nor do i want a relationship with him or anybody just yet. I like my single status for now. As for this guy from work, I have been thinking long and hard that am not gonna flirt, no sexting or anything with him. I know I am not helping the situation by entertaining his BS, and shenanigans. I do feel bad if anything does happen especially coz he has a gf so that's why am not gonna go there. will keep him as a friend, professional work chat, and normal day chats, no flirting, no sext, no rude talk, no winks, no flirty giggling, nothing sexual. At 1st it was very easy coz I didn't fancy him and wasn't interested so he chased me more and the more we talking I am actually starting to like this guy a little bit more 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 I am not in a relationship nor do i want a relationship with him or anybody just yet. I like my single status for now. As for this guy from work, I have been thinking long and hard that am not gonna flirt, no sexting or anything with him. I know I am not helping the situation by entertaining his BS, and shenanigans. I do feel bad if anything does happen especially coz he has a gf so that's why am not gonna go there. will keep him as a friend, professional work chat, and normal day chats, no flirting, no sext, no rude talk, no winks, no flirty giggling, nothing sexual. At 1st it was very easy coz I didn't fancy him and wasn't interested so he chased me more and the more we talking I am actually starting to like this guy a little bit more Well, start liking him a little bit less. Remember, he's a potential cheater. If he ever dumped his GF for you - what makes you think he'd stop there? Read the post below: THIS is what you should do. You know what a mature "woman" would do? She would go up to his desk, in front of everyone, and say, "Listen here Rico Suave, go take your chocolates and your cute little note and give them to your girlfriend, I'm not interested." Perfect. He is bored with his girlfriend and you are just excitement. That's all This is it. get it through your head. You're just a bit of fun in a skirt. Link to post Share on other sites
Author faithfully Posted February 11, 2014 Author Share Posted February 11, 2014 yeahhh I get what your saying and maybe I am just fun to him and excitement but I cudnt care less. Like I said I am not looking to date/marry him or build some relationship status with him. Maybe I am just having fun too but like I said I am not going to go there. My fun can wait. Will try it casual and not entertain him like that Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 so your initial post/thread title was actually complete bull? It should have read: "He has a GF but I want to get the rep as the office 'tease' what's the best way to do this?" In which case, you don't need our advice honey, you're messing this up perfectly well on your own.... Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 yeahhh I get what your saying and maybe I am just fun to him and excitement but I cudnt care less. Like I said I am not looking to date/marry him or build some relationship status with him. Maybe I am just having fun too but like I said I am not going to go there. My fun can wait. Will try it casual and not entertain him like that Get your fun somewhere else. Not at work and with someone with a gf. It's funny how your story has changed. One moment you're catching feelings and three pages later of not hearing what you wanted to hear, it's now just about fun. I hope you say what you mean and mean what you say. Link to post Share on other sites
Author faithfully Posted February 11, 2014 Author Share Posted February 11, 2014 Get your fun somewhere else. Not at work and with someone with a gf. It's funny how your story has changed. One moment you're catching feelings and three pages later of not hearing what you wanted to hear, it's now just about fun. I hope you say what you mean and mean what you say. Dont think you are getting it, my story hasnt changed 1 bit, i always said i never fancied him but the more am talking i am starting to like him and even said all the way thru i dont a relatuonship from him, i dont wanna be his next gf. It is all fun, flirty banter. Well ive read eveybodys replies again and its not fair to his gf thats why am gonna stop encouraging him Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 AAArrrrrghhhhhh how I shake it off but I am falling for this guy. HHHEEEELLLPPPP!!! Falling for a guy and just wanting to have fun with the flirty banter are two separate things. Falling for a guy means you are catching feelings and getting emotionally attached. Enjoying flirty banter is just that. And the fact that you are finding it so hard to cut contact with him is an indication that you are attached. Instead of being repulsed by this clown, you're encouraging and contributing to the bad behavior. You're blinded. That tells me that you are attached, not just for the fun of it. Be honest with yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
justa_guy Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 "and YES I know what I am doing is wrong and VERY unfair to his gf if she ever found out." Ok this right here... it's not only wrong if she finds out, you're involved in an Emotional Affair already. I reckon just go full ball on this one and get it over with, have a drunken (so you can blame it on the booze) fling (it just happened, we were just engaged in light flirting, he meant nothing to me, I never thought it would go this far!!) Hopefully the girlfriend never has to find out, they can even get married & you could still meet up in places (obviously as old friends) and have "accidental" flings After all it's just fun, flirty banter Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 (edited) To add, you said that you told him no hugging, kissing or sex because he has a girlfriend. I am not sure in what context your conversations have been that such a disclaimer had to be made. And if this man came to you today and said I am done with my gf, I can bet you two will go at it. Flirty banter, hanging out together, breaks together, joking, laughing -- doesn't just stop there, it's a pre-cursor to something more. You're not stupid. You know this. No wool over the eyes, we're not stupid either. It wasn't just flirty banter, there was more in this for you. Edited February 11, 2014 by Zahara 1 Link to post Share on other sites
justa_guy Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 Just to be clear, i was being sarcastic. You seem to be trying to justify everything you know is wrong, hoping someone on here will give you that gap. You're on a slippery slope and your actions alone will dictate the outcome. No amount of "trying it casual" will work either you know it's just another excuse to "oops how did that conversation end up leading to sex? I just wanted to find out how his day was." You're just as guilty if your not making the boundaries clear and allowing him to cross them. Don't fool yourself! Link to post Share on other sites
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