FWB--ok in my book(share your opinion)

[annie423]

Hi everyone. New here but want to share my story. I have read alot here about FWB. I too have a FWB. However, I am one of the ones that could not leave my feelings out of it. It has been going on now for a little more than a year. He is someone that I went out with about 10 years ago and our paths crossed again about 2 years ago. Everytime I saw him---I felt a certain way and picked up some vibe from him. The extreme eye contact and contiuous flirting I thought for sure were signs that he was feeling what I was feeling. Finally, since he wasn't making a move--I did. I told him how I felt and what I wanted. He was very sincere when he told me that he wasn't looking for anything serious. He was also afraid that one of us would get hurt --so he thought it best we wait---until maybe our paths meet again. Just remain friendly. I couldn't do that. After a few lunch dates and not too much else---our fwb relationship began. We both agreed no feelings would be involved. Just sex. I went for it even though I knew in my heart that I cared for him. How could I not. Even though he said what he said, I wasn't feeling that from him. After the first time, we layed in bed and talked about stuff all kinds of things. We always do, we talk about feelings without talking about our own. Then something happened. I became pregnant. Not something either one of us planned. But it happened. When I told him, I was sure things were going to change. I figured that was it--we were thru. Our FWB was surely going to end. After talking about it and talking about it and being straight forward with what we expected from one another---we picked up where we left off. Not quite as often, of course but at least we were together. Since I've had the baby--we been together. We talk and there was even a time when he said it was all just too much for him---he needed to end what we were doing. But somehow we've gotten back into "our thing". So, I will be the first to admit FWB relationship can be very tricky. Both parties need to understand what is happening and be clear on what they want from one another.

[CurvyGurl]

I can't do FWB relationships. Either we're friends or we're dating. No in between for me, because in order to give the benefits I need to have feelings for you and if I have feelings for you, you're more than a friend.

[Magus]

First off

Never criticize a man till you've walked a mile in his shoes. That way, you're a mile away, and you have his shoes.

That is one FUNNY line (roflmao) Props curvygirl

 

FWB is a sticky situation.

It looks like annie is handeling it in a very mature, and open manner. Props annie

[LucreziaBorgia]

Originally posted by annie423

Then something happened. I became pregnant. Not something either one of us planned. But it happened. When I told him, I was sure things were going to change. I figured that was it--we were thru. Our FWB was surely going to end. After talking about it and talking about it and being straight forward with what we expected from one another---we picked up where we left off.

 

Ditto, exact same things here. Unexpected pregnancy in the context of a casual FWB sort of thing - I hadn't know him long at all, less than a year. My story took a turn though: I gave birth at 28 weeks - and we bonded through that experience of neonatal stuff, a near death miss with RSV a week after she came home, and continued to bond through her growth and development. We decided to marry the day she came home from the hospital - we married in the chapel of the hospital and decided to go home as a family unit. We didn't marry under any delusions - we knew we were marrying as best friends, parenting partners, and sexual partners - and we married as "family" more than we did "husband and wife". It was different than most, but it was happy nonetheless. Eight years later, that bond is only deeper and we are happy with each other to this day.

 

While there are romantic moments, I wouldn't say its romantic - but I'd rather spend 24/7 with someone I am best friends with and can talk about literally anything, even subjects taboo in most marriages, than I would want to spend with someone who was pretty much a stranger outside of the context of marriage and "love". We fulfill each other's needs for sex if it comes up, intimacy, for friendship (and I do mean true friendship - not the conditional sort that many couples have), and for a deep love that two people can feel for one another as family. We make a great team as parents, we are close to each other and to our kid. I get sad sometimes, because there isn't that sense of 'romance and passion', particularly around Valentines Day - as I play a greater role as a "best friend and a mother" than I do a "wife and passion-partner". But, it works for us - we had a situation, we made it work best for all three of us and I wouldn't trade it for anything.