ThatsJustHowIRoll Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 I'm not ignoring certain posts, some don't believe some require a response and I have no problem taking criticism as long as it's respectful. Hard to explain how I'm feeling about all this. I'm a strong capable woman, I run two successful businesses on my own, I'm raising four healthy happy kids largely on my own. When I read back some of my posts, I agree, I sound like I'm playing the victim and like I'm not in control of this situation at all. When looking at my life and not knowing about the affair you would never see me as a victim or someone not totally in control. I'm a bi poker sex addict. But nobody really knows that about me except OM my husband and my best friends. Because my life is controlled and calm and I guess I play the part well. I know this is a mess. I'm not totally stupid. I know. For the record, OM and my husband started to get close AFTER the affair started and I didn't arrange for that to happen at all. It's not something I 'get off' on. As for if I am that problem in their marriage.. Obviously I am A problem, but his wife as said right to my face if it wasn't for me they would have been separated last year. I've made him happy.. But it's the feelings and things that are not seen that is damaging. I know that. You are kidding right? Tell her you are boning her husband...then see if she feels the same way. Not only are you lying to everyone around you...you're actually lying to yourself. So, the answer to the question I asked before:" you are destructive. Do you care?" In short, the answer is no. Not about your husband, your friend, your kids or your affair partner. Only you. You MUST get off on it. Otherwise, whats the payoff? Im stepping off this ride. Lost cause when she cant even be truthful to herself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
gettingstronger Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 I don't think your bi polar or a sex addict. I think you have dangerously low self esteem and the drama you create in your own life and on here is what you use to self medicate. I believe the story you have spun on here to be a hyperbole of your real life which is not nearly as interesting as you would like it to be. With that being said, you do need to get some help to be a healthier person. The fact that I do not believe a tenth of what you say on here not only in regards to specific events, but also in regards to who you truly are (ie a well regarded member of your town that people look up to, etc) which only strengthens my belief that you are in need of serious help. Good luck to you as we all deserve to be healthy. I too am stepping off the ride and I encourage others to as well, enabling is not a good thing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author AutumnMoon Posted February 22, 2014 Author Share Posted February 22, 2014 Other ways to deal, huh? How's that working for you? You can't cure bi polar at all, let alone with mysterious "other ways." Lithium is the gold standard and you don't go off of it. I'm certainly not the first person to have told you this. There are lots of other ways you can deal with it without medication. I was highly over medicated with lithium and Prozac as a teenager and it is something I refuse to ever go back too. I may have to work hard to stabilize my moods and I need to stick to a very strict routine but I do fine. As soon as I stop going to IC it gets hard again so I try to keep it up but it's been off and on. I'm not having an affair BECAUSE I'm bi polar I never claimed I was. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AutumnMoon Posted February 22, 2014 Author Share Posted February 22, 2014 I don't think your bi polar or a sex addict. I think you have dangerously low self esteem and the drama you create in your own life and on here is what you use to self medicate. I believe the story you have spun on here to be a hyperbole of your real life which is not nearly as interesting as you would like it to be. With that being said, you do need to get some help to be a healthier person. The fact that I do not believe a tenth of what you say on here not only in regards to specific events, but also in regards to who you truly are (ie a well regarded member of your town that people look up to, etc) which only strengthens my belief that you are in need of serious help. Good luck to you as we all deserve to be healthy. I too am stepping off the ride and I encourage others to as well, enabling is not a good thing. When I look at my life it's not crazy drama or interesting and I'm not trying to make it out to be. This is the only crazy situation going on. Apart from this I get up and get my kids ready, I cook, clean and work. I live in a small town and people do think highly of me here because I'm a good mom and pretty well known in my area because of my job.. I am not trying to spin it like I have a glamour filled life by any means. I would have never said I had self esteem issues until recently, I feel like they are developing because of the affair not the other way around. You don't have to give advice or believe anything I've said I'm not asking you for anything. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 There are lots of other ways you can deal with it without medication. I was highly over medicated with lithium and Prozac as a teenager and it is something I refuse to ever go back too. I may have to work hard to stabilize my moods and I need to stick to a very strict routine but I do fine. As soon as I stop going to IC it gets hard again so I try to keep it up but it's been off and on. I'm not having an affair BECAUSE I'm bi polar I never claimed I was. If you are bi polar you have to be on meds. Try different ones until they work for you. This type of mental illness doesn't go away, it's chemical and a forever thing. One of my childhood friends was over medicated growing up. She went off meds for years - Now she is back on them since having kids and the meds they have now compared to when she was younger is night and day - Combo that with counseling (glad you are going) your life will get better. Possibly you're gain strength to end this affair and really realize how much you're risking - Really understand the consequences and fallout. You can picture it but you don't believe it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chelsea2011 Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 A bipolar sex addict who is not being treated with medication. Hmm. That kinda explains A LOT. Wow. Are you at least being honest with your therapist? Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 There are lots of other ways you can deal with it without medication. I was highly over medicated with lithium and Prozac as a teenager and it is something I refuse to ever go back too. I may have to work hard to stabilize my moods and I need to stick to a very strict routine but I do fine. As soon as I stop going to IC it gets hard again so I try to keep it up but it's been off and on. I'm not having an affair BECAUSE I'm bi polar I never claimed I was. Who cares why you are banging the OM. Why are you not stopping it and confessing to your BH is the important issue. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 When I look at my life it's not crazy drama or interesting and I'm not trying to make it out to be. This is the only crazy situation going on. Apart from this I get up and get my kids ready, I cook, clean and work. I live in a small town and people do think highly of me here because I'm a good mom and pretty well known in my area because of my job.. I am not trying to spin it like I have a glamour filled life by any means. I would have never said I had self esteem issues until recently, I feel like they are developing because of the affair not the other way around. You don't have to give advice or believe anything I've said I'm not asking you for anything. Then stop posting here. You telling the who what where when why which how of your affair does not and never will make your affair right. The issue is that you are forcing your BH to live a life that is a lie and protecting your BH's mortal enemy in stead of protecting your BH. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 There are lots of other ways you can deal with it without medication. I was highly over medicated with lithium and Prozac as a teenager and it is something I refuse to ever go back too. I may have to work hard to stabilize my moods and I need to stick to a very strict routine but I do fine. I assume you're referring to a strict behavioral routine that helps keep you steady? How do you find having an affair and deceiving your husband about it fits into that strict routine? And I'll echo the question of another poster: Are you being open about your affair with your therapist? Link to post Share on other sites
Author AutumnMoon Posted February 24, 2014 Author Share Posted February 24, 2014 I assume you're referring to a strict behavioral routine that helps keep you steady? How do you find having an affair and deceiving your husband about it fits into that strict routine? And I'll echo the question of another poster: Are you being open about your affair with your therapist? Honestly I was the happiest I had ever been until only a couple months ago. Yes I've been honest with her about it and she has advised me to end it and deny it if ever accused. The woman I'm seeing now I don't have a lot of respect for I plan to find someone new. Link to post Share on other sites
Sub Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 Yes I've been honest with her about it and she has advised me to end it and deny it if ever accused. I've never been to IC, but it strikes me as odd that a therapist would advise you to continue lying if accused. I don't see how that's healthy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kalimata Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 I was highly over medicated with lithium and Prozac as a teenager and it is something I refuse to ever go back too. I'm not having an affair BECAUSE I'm bi polar I never claimed I was. Are you bipolar I or bipolar II? Sounds spot on to me like you are in the midst of a hypomanic episode. Go see your shrink pronto. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 I've never been to IC, but it strikes me as odd that a therapist would advise you to continue lying if accused. I don't see how that's healthy. IC's only treat the person in front of them...they don't give a hang about that person's relationships with anyone else, to include spouses. That's why IC can be massively detrimental to a marriage. This situation is a perfect example of an IC giving advice to support their client that's entirely in the worst strategy for their client's marriage. At this point, I don't have any other advice to offer the OP. She doesn't want anything in her situation to change...it's arranged exactly how she wants it to be. When that changes, if she'd like advice then, I'd be glad to offer it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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