I'm tired of chasing women.

[somedude81]

Dude you're wasting your time trying to discourage me.

 

Why do you think I made this thread?

 

Try to find a woman in a situation similar to my own? I really doubt I'll find anybody like that.

[normal person]

 

Why do you think I made this thread?

 

I'm just tired of chasing girls.

 

I have never been good at getting girls to go on dates with me and I've only ever managed to get one girl to go on at least three dates with me, and she ended up being my first girlfriend at 31 years old.

 

So here I am again in this stupid "hunting" phase and it just sucks. Conversations are so awkward because you don't know a thing about the person. Nobody seems to give a damn about me and somehow I have to make somebody like me.

 

You were tired of chasing girls and having no success. I'm telling you that you're looking in the wrong place because college girls are out of your reach; you're wasting your time. People with years of experience and success in their lives have been giving you answers as to why you have problems, but you choose to ignore them because it isn't the exact solution that you want to hear.

 

Are you here for real, pragmatic advice that will change your life or just a sympathetic virtual hug and a disingenuous "Awww, you're the most handsome, smart guy in school and all those girls are just big stupid meanies who don't know what they're missing out on!!!"

 

If you want to continue living in your safe little dream world, go ahead. It's gotten you real far up to this point, hasn't it? How about this, when you're actually ready for advice and help, make a thread about it and we can help ease you into reality.

 

Try to find a woman in a situation similar to my own? I really doubt I'll find anybody like that.

 

And you've been having so much luck with college girls, right? You're right, better just stay the course, then. You don't think it's possible, so don't even try. College girls are way more attainable for you.

Edited March 4, 2014 by normal person

[somedude81]

I'm telling you that you're looking in the wrong place because college girls are out of your reach; you're wasting your time.

That's the kind of stuff I don't want to hear in this thread.

 

You are far from the first person to tell me that I wouldn't be able to date a college girl. Guess, what I fu*king did it! I had sex with a 20 year old woman while I was 31. And she was hot, intelligent and a great cook. There is just no point in telling me that I can't do something when I've already done it.

 

I made this thread for basic encouragement and to hear stories from people who were also tired of the game.

 

I did not make the thread to get dogpilled on by people who want to bring me down. Keep that crap to yourself.

[normal person]

That's the kind of stuff I don't want to hear in this thread.

 

You are far from the first person to tell me that I wouldn't be able to date a college girl. Guess, what I fu*king did it! I had sex with a 20 year old woman while I was 31. And she was hot, intelligent and a great cook. There is just no point in telling me that I can't do something when I've already done it.

 

So you try for a decade to get a girlfriend, it happens once and it's the rule rather than the exception? If you made a blind, desperation half court shot in basketball, would you think that it was the best way to shoot from now? If you won $1000 on a scratch lottery ticket, would you think it's the best way to make money? Oh, you made a hole in one in golf? Just do it every time, then.

 

I don't doubt that you were able to get a girlfriend once. But the fact that it only happened once by the time you were 31 and hasn't happened since leads me to believe that it was the exception and not the rule. If you're so convinced that I'm wrong, why are you still here complaining about how hard it is to chase girls? Why don't you just follow your incredible formula to get all the college girls you want? Because you can't. It happened once, stop dwelling on it, don't let it go to your head because it hasn't solved any of your problems.

 

I made this thread for basic encouragement and to hear stories from people who were also tired of the game.

 

"Encouragement" is completely dubious. You're looking for other people to reinforce your delusional view of reality so can continue lying to yourself about the situation. You want to feel better by commiserating with other people? Fine, that's understandable -- maybe you should have put this thread in the "rants" section, because by putting it in "In Search Of," you're leading people to believe that you actually want help solving your problems. And you simply can't handle what we tell you.

 

I did not make the thread to get dogpilled on by people who want to bring me down. Keep that crap to yourself.

 

Do you really think that's what this is? What do you think people have to gain by doing that? People write responses to help because helping others and imparting wisdom brings satisfaction. But like I said, you're too afraid of hearing the advice that will do you good, because it might be painful for you, so you label it as insults.

 

It's like cutting off a gangrenous limb. It's going to hurt, but it's necessary. I'm pulling for you but you're very reluctant to help yourself.

[somedude81]

I've been single for three months and I'm just now really getting the desire to put myself out there.

 

Looks like I'm going to have to do another, "I was right all along and none of you people know crap" things again.

[hasaquestion]

That's the kind of stuff I don't want to hear in this thread.

 

You are far from the first person to tell me that I wouldn't be able to date a college girl. Guess, what I fu*king did it! I had sex with a 20 year old woman while I was 31. And she was hot, intelligent and a great cook. There is just no point in telling me that I can't do something when I've already done it.

 

I made this thread for basic encouragement and to hear stories from people who were also tired of the game.

 

I did not make the thread to get dogpilled on by people who want to bring me down. Keep that crap to yourself.

 

No one's trying to bring you down. As a matter of fact, its remarkable that a bunch of complete strangers put the care and effort into trying to help.

 

As for finding a woman in your situation... there's lots of single 28-32 year olds.

Edited March 4, 2014 by hasaquestion
typo

[normal person]

 

Looks like I'm going to have to do another, "I was right all along and none of you people know crap" things again.

 

Got it. The habitually unsuccessful person (you) is right and all of the experienced, successful, advice-giving people (us) are wrong and we "know crap."

 

If you're right and we're wrong, why the struggle? Why the thread? Where's your success? If you don't need help, advice, and/or encouragement, what's the point and what are you doing here? If you have the all the answers, why don't you give advice and not take it?

 

Somdude, maybe you will get a college girlfriend. Maybe you will hit another hole in one or win another $1000 on a scratch lottery ticket. It's possible. Is it likely? No. Is it a practical or realistic? No.

 

Good luck.

[somedude81]

No one's trying to bring you down. As a matter of fact, its remarkable that a bunch of complete strangers put the care and effort into trying to help.

 

As for finding a woman in your situation... there's lots of single 28-32 year olds.

Looking over the majority of posts in this thread, it's a bunch of complete strangers telling me that I'm going to fail. It's that bullying mentality.

 

Though I can use that to my advantage and use that desire to prove them wrong.

 

I'm sure there are lots of single 28-32 year old women, but I have no idea where to find them. Right now I'm finishing up my degree and am surrounded by tons of cute 19-23 year old women, and that's what I want right now.

 

Once I leave college my focus will shift to women a few years older.

[organizedchaos]

Looking over the majority of posts in this thread, it's a bunch of complete strangers telling me that I'm going to fail. It's that bullying mentality.

 

Though I can use that to my advantage and use that desire to prove them wrong.

 

I'm sure there are lots of single 28-32 year old women, but I have no idea where to find them. Right now I'm finishing up my degree and am surrounded by tons of cute 19-23 year old women, and that's what I want right now.

 

Once I leave college my focus will shift to women a few years older.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/search/464412-conversations-young-women-when-ask-them-out

 

Considering you're posting threads asking for advice on basic conversation skills with women 101, I'd say you have a long way to go.

 

That, and all of your previous posting history spanning 6 years and 13k posts, and your unwillingness to listen to anyone who tells you anything you don't want to hear, tells us history is bound to repeat itself.

 

Can you get another 21 year old who's on a rebound to be the only thing you have going in your life to give you sex for a couple of months? Maybe.

 

But until you work on improving yourself, your self-confidence, your ability to interact with the opposite sex is doomed for failure.

 

This is coming from someone with far more experiences that you. Guaranteed. You can choose to ignore it just as you have everyone else.

[normal person]

Looking over the majority of posts in this thread, it's a bunch of complete strangers telling me that I'm going to fail. It's that bullying mentality.

 

 

It's people telling you you're likely to fail because of circumstantial factors, not because there's something inherently wrong with you. You're in a circumstance where the odds are stacked against you. People are telling you to change your circumstances, they're not saying change yourself.

 

If you're straight, would you think you'd be successful looking for women in a gay bar? No, because most of, if not all the women there like other women. You're not who they like.

 

So if you're in college, would you think you'd be successful looking for women in college if you're 31? No. Not because you're a horrible person. Because you're not who they like. It's circumstantial, not personal. Change your circumstances. Look somewhere where someone is looking for someone like you. That's what I'm trying to tell you.

[somedude81]

There is nothing wrong with trying to refine the basics.

 

My ex was not on the rebound. I'm not going to argue about that.

 

The whole talk that you can't get anywhere with women until you work on yourself and your confidence is nonsense. Either way, I know what improves my confidence and doesn't. Nobody knows that better than I do.

[somedude81]

It's people telling you you're likely to fail because of circumstantial factors, not because there's something inherently wrong with you. You're in a circumstance where the odds are stacked against you. People are telling you to change your circumstances, they're not saying change yourself.

 

If you're straight, would you think you'd be successful looking for women in a gay bar? No, because most of, if not all the women there like other women. You're not who they like.

 

So if you're in college, would you think you'd be successful looking for women in college if you're 31? No. Not because you're a horrible person. Because you're not who they like. It's circumstantial, not personal. Change your circumstances. Look somewhere where someone is looking for someone like you. That's what I'm trying to tell you.

Of course I know the odds are stacked against me. I don't need people telling me that. What's helpful is advice on how I can overcome those odds.

 

My circumstances will not change till I graduate in December. So I want to make the best of the situation that I'm in now.

 

Is that so hard to understand?

[normal person]

Of course I know the odds are stacked against me. I don't need people telling me that. What's helpful is advice on how I can overcome those odds.

 

My circumstances will not change till I graduate in December. So I want to make the best of the situation that I'm in now.

 

Is that so hard to understand?

 

Understandable, but like I said, very impractical. It's like saying "I'm not getting paid until December, and I don't want to look for other jobs, so how do I win the lottery?"

 

Explore other avenues for women better suited for you. You'll be better equipped, you'll learn more, and you'll be more successful thus confident. But if you don't want to do that, I don't know what else to tell you. Good luck.

[organizedchaos]

There is nothing wrong with trying to refine the basics.

 

Refine? That's the point of that thread?

 

My ex was not on the rebound. I'm not going to argue about that.

 

Um:

 

Don't forget that she was with her boyfriend for three years before she dated me. I just had bad timing getting with her so soon after her breakup.

 

Wtf does that mean then?

 

The whole talk that you can't get anywhere with women until you work on yourself and your confidence is nonsense. Either way, I know what improves my confidence and doesn't. Nobody knows that better than I do.

 

And what in your vast success with women makes you believe that? One would think you'd learn from your own history on what has not been working for you.

[somedude81]

What would be some better avenues to meet women while I'm currently in these circumstances?

[somedude81]

Refine? That's the point of that thread?

 

 

 

Um:

 

 

 

Wtf does that mean then?

 

 

 

And what in your vast success with women makes you believe that? One would think you'd learn from your own history on what has not been working for you.

Yes that thread is for me to refine the basics and put some things into practice that I'm rusty with. It's been almost a year since I had to deal with the small talk to relationship thing.

 

My ex did not rebound.

 

She broke up with her boyfriend to start dating me. If anything she was monkey branching.

 

There are many reasons why I've done poorly with women in the past. Some of those reasons will no longer affect me because of what I've been through.

[pickflicker]

There is nothing wrong with trying to refine the basics.

 

My ex was not on the rebound. I'm not going to argue about that.

 

The whole talk that you can't get anywhere with women until you work on yourself and your confidence is nonsense. Either way, I know what improves my confidence and doesn't. Nobody knows that better than I do.

 

It's really not. You can swim against the tide of truth all you want, but you're just going to end up drowning.

[organizedchaos]

Yes that thread is for me to refine the basics and put some things into practice that I'm rusty with. It's been almost a year since I had to deal with the small talk to relationship thing.

 

My ex did not rebound.

 

She broke up with her boyfriend to start dating me. If anything she was monkey branching.

 

There are many reasons why I've done poorly with women in the past. Some of those reasons will no longer affect me because of what I've been through.

 

You were still a rebound. She never had a chance to mourn or evolve from a 3 year relationship. But we all know there were other issues she mentioned anyway. So probably would have had the same end result regardless.

 

The important thing is to learn from it. And from what those with more experience tell you. That's the only way to grow

Edited March 4, 2014 by organizedchaos

[normal person]

What would be some better avenues to meet women while I'm currently in these circumstances?

 

You can online date to refine the search as a start.

 

What city are you in? Increase your circumstantial odds by going to a public place where people your age are more likely to be. Preferably a bar or a lounge, somewhere with alcohol where it wouldn't be out of line to try and meet a woman. Bring all your friends and meet all their friends. Step out of your comfort zone, take some chances, and learn from your mistakes. Talk to everyone there (not just girls), make the girls want to talk to you. Make connections and network. Be engaging, be exciting.

[pickflicker]

It's really not. You can swim against the tide of truth all you want, but you're just going to end up drowning.

 

Further to this - I know it to be true, because I had to do it. Contrary to your narrow belief, women do not have an easy time of it when it comes to dating. And I was once searching for a relationship to fulfill me. But once I stopped doing that and created my own happiness and fulfillment within, it worked. Now my dating life is in the best shape it's ever been, and more importantly, I won't settle out of loneliness.

[Imajerk17]

That's the kind of stuff I don't want to hear in this thread.

 

You are far from the first person to tell me that I wouldn't be able to date a college girl. Guess, what I fu*king did it! I had sex with a 20 year old woman while I was 31. And she was hot, intelligent and a great cook. There is just no point in telling me that I can't do something when I've already done it.

 

I made this thread for basic encouragement and to hear stories from people who were also tired of the game.

 

I did not make the thread to get dogpilled on by people who want to bring me down. Keep that crap to yourself.

 

Hey man, I'm giving you advice as someone who did HORRIBLY with women in his 20s.

 

Everyone keeps giving you the advice you hate because it's true. There's no secret place where all the women are hiding, and there's no secret words that will knock a woman's defenses down and make her want to be your girlfriend.

 

The way it goes is, you are confident, and THEN you attract women. It doesn't work the other way. A woman is looking to you to be her rock and to have a plan, just as you want a woman to provide joy and femininity. How can you possibly do that if you are so unhappy being single? (Even the threads you see on here about women stuck to these loser jackasses, well they at least are unapologetic loser jackasses. Their "thugness" makes her feel safe walking down a dark alley, and these women like to rescue anyway. It's a messed-up dynamic that I don't advocate but it works for them. I guess. )

 

You wonder how women find this out about you: You go on a first date with a girl. She tells you all the stuff that is going on in her life, and then she expects you to talk about your life. What are you going to say? If she gets a good feeling about you and your world she will want more.

 

With your last girlfriend....what do you think she told her friends when she talked about you, when the "what are our boyfriends like" came up? Thing is, I get the feeling that how I think the conversation went is very different from how you think the conversations went.

 

Now, somedude, you CAN turn this all around. That you were able to attract a great girl in the first place says you have something. But my advice on this would be to get your career/graduation stuff handled first. Then flirt with the women in your dance class. It's a good way to practice.

Edited March 5, 2014 by Imajerk17

[topaMAXX]

Personally, I don't think the issue is that SD is trying to date younger girls. It's certainly attainable and pretty easy if they're into you.

 

Last year (when I was still looking for casual), I was 26 and dating 18-20 year olds.

 

It's definitely doable if that's what he wants. Personally, I like girls closer to my age now since I'm looking for something serious (dating ultimately leading to marriage). I've found that most girls under 25 (most girls in their 20s, in fact) to be pretty immature.

 

If OP had game, he would have no trouble hooking up with those girls and entering into short-term relationships with them.