I'm tired of chasing women.

[Radu]

OK, so I was "talking" to a bot and had no idea.

 

At least I was still able to recognize a scam, though it sucks I actually though I was talking to a real person.

 

Sorry, but this was veeeeeeeeery funny.

[joystickd]

And how would a woman be attracted by me being fulfilled in life?

 

I'm pretty sure I'd still need to go up to and talk to a bunch of women, try to hold their attention and have a conversation.

 

Nobody is psychic and able to see a void, unless the void person comes across as really desperate.

It something as a man when you have a career you love and get in a position where you are able to do things you like. It's a gigantic confidence booster overall in your life and women see that. Like me for example when I got into doing what I'm doing I got confidence and now date women I never would have thought would date me

[GoreSP]

So I should look for a woman with a body who doesn't do anything for me and an ugly face?

 

You may not be aware, but I'm still very sore from my break up two months ago.

 

The last thing I want to think about right now is falling in love and getting attached to a girl who will end up hurting me.

 

well I'm sorry you are still dealing with a breakup. But t doesn't change the fact that casual flings will require you to chase after women all the time.

[No Limit]

Well, first dates are intended to get to know each other. So unless you have the ability to read a woman's mind, why so annoyed by this?

 

It's rather tough if you really have nothing both of you share. Common interests, actual themes (I advise a subject currently hyped or recently brought up by the news, people rarely inform themselves deeper into just one subject).

[kart180]

I give up, that's it no more dating . If a women want me, hope she find me.

[ThaWholigan]

Well, this thread isn't predictable at all.

 

Somedude, I don't even have any advice for you. You're gonna do the same silly sh*t and come here and relay that silly sh*t for others to pile on you - regardless of what I say to you right now. Just don't kill yourself, that's all I'm concerned about. And if you really don't want to have any friends and your goal in life is still "GF" then nobody can help you. You just have to keep on chasing.

 

Take a break if it's pissing you off, then get back on the horse.

[kart180]

OK, so I was "talking" to a bot and had no idea.

 

At least I was still able to recognize a scam, though it sucks I actually though I was talking to a real person.

 

I never recognize a scam, I am such a sucker, that is why I ended with online and offline dating. Now more for me. I will see what happens. Try to just live more life

[somedude81]

Well, first dates are intended to get to know each other. So unless you have the ability to read a woman's mind, why so annoyed by this?

I'm annoyed at the difficulty at actually getting that first date. I also kind of feel, that if I ask her out, it means I know her enough to want to be in a relationship. In other words, I'm very selective on who I ask out.

 

It's rather tough if you really have nothing both of you share. Common interests, actual themes (I advise a subject currently hyped or recently brought up by the news, people rarely inform themselves deeper into just one subject).

That's why I really like to meet girls in dance classes or a very specific class or club, such as a Japanese language class. Common interests guaranteed.

Take a break if it's pissing you off, then get back on the horse.

Frankly, I really do want to take a break and stop trying.

 

But I hate being alone too much to do so. It was so amazing having a GF and being single just freaking sucks in comparison.

[somedude81]

I never recognize a scam, I am such a sucker, that is why I ended with online and offline dating. Now more for me. I will see what happens. Try to just live more life

Well, so far I've encountered two scammers (who were the only matches so far) and they fallowed the exact same script.

 

It's basically a program that has a set script. The messages fallow a sequence that seem natural.

[Teraskas]

I'm annoyed at the difficulty at actually getting that first date.

 

I'm just genuine and upfront about my intentions, and that seems to make the cut. /shrug

Happened plenty of times that I seem to have passed the 'initial filter', which leads to the first date.

After that however, I'm still getting rejected left and right.

Ironically, nothing for me has ever progressed beyond the first date, lol. :/

(I'm referring to the time that I've actively pursued women during my single life rather than the 2 relationships in the past.)

[Imajerk17]

I know this advice has already been said but I really believe you'd achieve your dating goals more easily if you didn't fixate so much on finding a girlfriend. Keep taking chances but chill a bit on the woman thing and get more into rest of your life stuff.

 

The happier you are on your own somedude, the more women will want to be a part of your world--and want to be your girlfriend. Everyone has been telling you this but from your threads it doesn't seem to be sinking in.

 

This includes *ahem* getting your studies and your job search handled....

Edited February 16, 2014 by Imajerk17

[xxoo]

I'm annoyed at the difficulty at actually getting that first date. I also kind of feel, that if I ask her out, it means I know her enough to want to be in a relationship. In other words, I'm very selective on who I ask out.

 

Imagine meeting up with some friends for happy hour, or a St. Paddy's Day party, and some women show up invited by his girlfriend. And everyone is hanging out, and you are talking with this one cute woman.

 

After the party, you ask your friend, "so, what's up with ________?" And he tells you her situation, and mentions that she'll be at ______ event next weekend, and why don't you join us?' And then you go and flirt some more and maybe get her number.

 

Doesn't that sound nice and easy? Wouldn't it be easier to talk to women in a setting like that?

[czanclus]

codependency is never attractive or healthy.

 

Only this is about trust and strength to be vulnerable.

[Eclypse]

Because that's the dance. Men are natural pursuers. Smart women have learned that 9 times out of 10, they need to let the man "be the man". If a man wants her, he'll call.

 

Take me, for example. I've been chatting to this for a few weeks, we've been on one date, and he's just booked me for number 2. Do you know how many times I have initiated contact with him? Zero. Why? Because he's a man. He will contact me if he wants to.

 

Not too sure I agree with this. I know you mean well but the impression that this sort of behaviour gives off is that the man is this hunter and you are just a dainty, beautiful prize that is there to be won by the man who jumps through the most hoops. If a woman never initiated contact with me I'd assume she wasn't interested. I had to put in all the effort with my ex. It got old. With my current girlfriend we both started conversations from the start, and she'd text me throughout the day asking how I was doing etc. I just wish more women would show interest in men and actually initiate.

[somedude81]

Hey, I remember this thread.

 

Yesterday was a really off day for me as I received a reply from my ex telling me why she had blocked me, and then the last thing I wanted to do was flirt with any girls.

 

Hopefully I'll be better tomorrow.

[Eclypse]

Hey, I remember this thread.

 

Yesterday was a really off day for me as I received a reply from my ex telling me why she had blocked me, and then the last thing I wanted to do was flirt with any girls.

 

Hopefully I'll be better tomorrow.

 

What reason did she give?

[Tayken]

@OP...then give the women a reason to chase you instead. If you've got it, flaunt it (appropriately)

[somedude81]

What reason did she give?

I bugged her way too much asking her why she broke up with me.

 

The last day we communicated which she states as the day "I went off on her" I was trying to find out what she meant by me "liking her too much," and I accused her of lying to me for the last couple weeks of our relationship by pretending everything was OK when it was not, plus how she brought her overnight bag to "make things look normal" and made me believe that she was fallowing through with the plans we had made of her staying two nights, when in fact she knew she was going to dump me.

 

This was the email she sent me.

 

Don't you understand that not giving it any space from the time I broke up with you, destroyed any possibility of being friends.

You kept asking me why, why, why, over and over and over again. And kept wanting to continue to talk about it. And I told you over and over again that I cannot be the person you talk to about this, then after that one night you went off on me. I was done.

So yes I blocked you. I was sick of seeing stuff from you show up in my email and text regardless of the content because in the back of my mind it was just felt like it was going to be another rant.

In your letter you said you would leave me be and I would really appreciate if you did so. I honestly have nothing left to say to you.

 

I tried to explain it before but you didn't listen. This is the last thing I'm sending to you, please understand where I'm coming from.

 

-------------------

Bear in mind that I had no idea whatsoever that there were any problems in our relationship and I was absolutely shocked when she gave me the break up talk. I was expecting to have an amazing couple of days with my girlfriend that I hadn't seen and a week in a half because I visited my parents for Thanksgiving. But instead of that, I was getting suddenly dumped. We never had a single argument and she never complained about me so I couldn't understand why she dumped me.

Edited February 19, 2014 by somedude81

[somedude81]

So I just got out of the Salsa club on campus, which meets weekly and it's connected with the dance class I'm taking, and all I can think of is how I don't care about any of those girls and just wish I could dance with my ex again.

 

In fact, one of my biggest regrets about our relationship is that we didn't go out dancing more often. In the 6 months that we were together, I think we only went out 3 times. That's pathetic. I should have made it a point to go out with her at least once a month.

 

One of my top goals in life is to get really good at dancing, and have a partner I frequently practice with. I had the perfect girl, but we got settled into the routine of staying in and watching her AppleTV. Now that I look back it feels like such a waste

[Omei]

You need to read that email you just posted over and over again and over and over and over and over again everytime you miss your ex read that email she sent you.

 

You're stuck in what if's and should haves.

[Teraskas]

I can certainly relate to your last few posts.

I was more or less in the same situation, except I was staying the weekend at her place after being unable to have seen her due to a busy week with different schedules.

It was a different week because we each had internship assessments which evaluated our teaching skills.

Hers were flawless, mine were sub-par.

So needless to say I was feeling a bit down, but during that week when I did see her, she couldn't stand me touching her, giving her hugs, etc.

So I more or less knew something was wrong, but I never expected to be dumped for being just a BIT negative...Sheesh. :/

[somedude81]

You need to read that email you just posted over and over again and over and over and over and over again everytime you miss your ex read that email she sent you.

 

You're stuck in what if's and should haves.

I have read her email over and over. It tells me that I absolutely must not contact her and she simply doesn't want to hear from me.

 

I don't know how that has anything to do with the past when we were together. Wishing I took her out dancing more, is not at all related to asking her what she meant by X reason.

I can certainly relate to your last few posts.

I was more or less in the same situation, except I was staying the weekend at her place after being unable to have seen her due to a busy week with different schedules.

It was a different week because we each had internship assessments which evaluated our teaching skills.

Hers were flawless, mine were sub-par.

So needless to say I was feeling a bit down, but during that week when I did see her, she couldn't stand me touching her, giving her hugs, etc.

So I more or less knew something was wrong, but I never expected to be dumped for being just a BIT negative...Sheesh. :/

That seems weird. I really doubt that she would dump you for being negative. Women can't be that crazy.

 

Though at least you knew that some thing was wrong. She was pulling back on affection and didn't like you touching her. That is a huge red flag. My ex didn't exhibit any of that behavior at all. Granted she had come to the decision to break up with me when I was on vacation for a week, I don't know if she would have acted like your ex if I didn't leave. What really bugs me, is that we were still having sex during the time that she was "feeling unsure" about the relationship and she didn't pull back at all.

[clia]

So I just got out of the Salsa club on campus, which meets weekly and it's connected with the dance class I'm taking, and all I can think of is how I don't care about any of those girls and just wish I could dance with my ex again.

 

You have to get out of this mindset. There is no use dwelling on something that is not going to happen. You are coming up on three months, half the length of your relationship. You've got to move on.

 

If you don't like the women in the salsa club class, then you will have to do other things to meet other women. These aren't the only women in the world.

 

In fact, one of my biggest regrets about our relationship is that we didn't go out dancing more often. In the 6 months that we were together, I think we only went out 3 times. That's pathetic. I should have made it a point to go out with her at least once a month.

 

One of my top goals in life is to get really good at dancing, and have a partner I frequently practice with. I had the perfect girl, but we got settled into the routine of staying in and watching her AppleTV. Now that I look back it feels like such a waste

 

This is a great lesson to have learned. It sounds like you may have gotten complacent in your relationship.

 

It's also been fascinating to watch you elevate your ex higher and higher on a pedestal since she broke up with you. Now she's the perfect girl?

[somedude81]

You have to get out of this mindset. There is no use dwelling on something that is not going to happen. You are coming up on three months, half the length of your relationship. You've got to move on.

I'm not trying to dwell on the fact that I miss her, it just happens. It's very different dancing with women whose name I can't even remember compared to dancing with her. And of course, after we finished dancing, I wouldn't be spending the rest of the night alone, like I did yesterday. Last night I felt so lonely on my way back home.

 

If you don't like the women in the salsa club class, then you will have to do other things to meet other women. These aren't the only women in the world.

Oh I do like some of them, but they are just strangers to me at this point. More importantly, they don't like me. It's just not the same thing. I miss being with somebody who actually likes me.

 

 

This is a great lesson to have learned. It sounds like you may have gotten complacent in your relationship.

Definitely. And I'm sure it was starting to bore her. It was such a waste to have a GF that loved to dance, and not take advantage of that. I could sit on the couch and cuddle with anybody.

 

If I do manage to start going out with a girl I meet in the class or club, I'll be sure to go dancing with her more often.

 

It's also been fascinating to watch you elevate your ex higher and higher on a pedestal since she broke up with you. Now she's the perfect girl?

When I said perfect girl, I was thinking about her with dancing as the primary focus. She was a very cute girl who looked great in a dress, loved to dance, picked up moves very quickly and was very easy to lead and didn't care when I messed up. The perfect dance partner.

 

As a person, no she wasn't perfect, but I was very happy to be with her. She had some flaws and a couple that annoyed me, but it wasn't anything to dump her over. Her positives far outweighed her negatives. Unfortunately I doubt she would say the same for me.

[HeavenOrHell]

Because you'd be less likely to come across as desperate or needy, people like to know their partner is with them because they want to be, rather than out of loneliness or desperation.

No offence meant at all, seriously, but you come across as pretty much any woman would do, as long as she has big boobs.

People often meet people through friends or common interests rather than going up to a random bunch of women.

How about meeting women online, getting to know them for a while first and build things up gradually?

 

 

And how would a woman be attracted by me being fulfilled in life?

 

I'm pretty sure I'd still need to go up to and talk to a bunch of women, try to hold their attention and have a conversation.

 

Nobody is psychic and able to see a void, unless the void person comes across as really desperate.