Michael201 Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 hi my name is michael and im 19, i need help with two different things heres an example On day 1 i take the bus to work and i see a pretty girl who i seen for a while now and never payed much attention to. on day 2 shes not on the bus because she comes everyother day so im excited about seeing her tommorow. on day 3 shes there and i try to catch her attention. a few days later i try talking to her but shes married or in a relationship. now here comes the part that i hate. i go home and i cant stop thinking about her then it seems like all the songs i listen to are bout her and i and i cant sleep at night just thinking about her. meanwhile im in a relationship whit a girl i love but at the sametime im loosing some of the feelings ive had for my girlfriend that i been with for 3 years and then in a month or so i start to loose interest in the girl i met on the bus. ehy exactly do i fall in and out of love so easily when it comes to some things? heres my second problem wich relates to the first. im in a 3 year relationship and i love my girl very much. my girl has a bestfriend named lisa who is very beautiful and funny but for about 2 years i never looked at her in any other way then just a friend. 2 weeks ago i woke up and somehtign came over me. even though im probably not i felt like i was inlove with lisa so i took actions.instant messeged lisa who just got out of a long term relationship.i spoke to her online for a whole night even flirted a bit and when i asked if i can call her she said no because im not allowed to speak to other girls so the next night got a bit more serious. i instant messeged her again and we spoke and flirted even more and i once gain asked her if i can call her and she said only if i want to with a wink so i did. so after a little while i straight up told her that i had strong feelings for her. lisa thought i was a bit crazy but she also said she will give me a chance if i told my girlfriend what was going on but i didnt know what to do at this point. now im at my girls house and i cant take my mind of lisa i feel like i can marry her but at the same time i will be hurting my girl who is already hurt because im acting a bit strange.so that same day we goto lisa's house because we were going to go dancing lisa my girl and I. when i got to her house me an dlisa looked at eachother and spoke through our eyes trying not look suspicious infornt of my girl. and im very jelouse at the fact that she is dating and talks about this with my girl infront of me. so we are in lisa's car and im in the back seat and my girl is next to lisa. lisa played this song that was basicaly made for her and I and she played it over and over again while looking at me through the rear view mirror. so we get to the club and the next day she tells my girl how she met the man of her dreams right then and there i felt like my heart was sliced open and the world was dark. so i instant messeged her and she told me that her an i can tbe together and to stay with my girl who loves me wich is true. and today i feel like crap and when i listen to that song i feel a weird pain on my chest i also feel like the world is going to end im not sure what to do please help and im sorry if this is not in the right section of the site. i odnt know what to do if i call her im not sure what to expect im kinda going crazy thanks guys Link to post Share on other sites
kanga Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 you'll probably disagree with me. but you're only 19. you're still young. these things happen to young and older folks. how long have you been with your current girl? a year? it's ok to like someone else. break it off and move on to another person. been with her three years? you were really young when you started going out. people change a lot during those years. there are a lot of stories of younger people falling in love and sharing the rest of your life together. (my grandparents are one such couple.) i'm convinced that's less common these days. you may think you love this girl, but you may not. if you do love her, then you'll want to work past this. you'll want to be honest and do everything you can to make it work. but you don't have to. have fun. let yourself be with other people while you can. should you go off with lisa? you can. but know that you'll probably ruin the friendship between your girl and lisa. and you'll probably ruin whatever remnants of a relationship you might have with your girl after everything is out. my ex dated my best friend. it was devastating. felt like betrayal on two levels. so go ahead, but be prepared for the consequences. Link to post Share on other sites
GirlDown Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 i feel really bad for your girlfriend. you're not mature enough to be in a relationship if you're falling head over heels "in love" with every girl that isn't your girlfriend. you should explain to her what's going on and leave her alone to find a real boyfriend and a friend who will not so shamelessly abuse their relationships with her and take advantage of her the way you both did. tell her you're just not ready for a relationship, which clearly you're not. there's nothing wrong with that, but there is something wrong with how you are dealing with it. i know you're young, but you can't be this stupid and mean. grow up. shame on you and her "friend". Link to post Share on other sites
savethedrama4allama Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 Maturity is being able to tell your gf that the relationship needs to end, rather than sneaking around behind her back. Be mature. Link to post Share on other sites
GirlDown Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 well put, llama. i wasted a lot of words. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Michael201 Posted January 18, 2005 Author Share Posted January 18, 2005 thank you for all the replies but ive been with my girl for 3 years and only because i happen to fall in and out of love easily does not mean i will end this relationship. the good thing is that my llove is always great for my girl. all i really need to know is how can i stop this if there anyway Link to post Share on other sites
JoL Posted January 19, 2005 Share Posted January 19, 2005 ..theres no way to stop it. Because you are young and looking for new adventures. It's nothing to be worried or ashamed of- except when it will end up hurting your girl. It may be time to just call it a day and go into the world and have some adventures. Im sure you would hate it if you married this girl in a few years and kept feeling like this. If you feel like this now it will only get worse with time..i get the impression you would cheat easily if given the chance with the right girl. And that is no way for your girl to live is it? Link to post Share on other sites
poister Posted January 19, 2005 Share Posted January 19, 2005 Michael, Consider your GF's point of view: if you were in her shoes, and your partner was so easily attracted to others, you might not, as you put it, feel that your partner's "love was always great." In fact, you might feel that your partner was not exclusive to you, regardless of whether that is on a physical/sexual or emotional level. Are you and your GF on exclusive terms? If so, you may wish to consider whether you are doing her an injustice. From the outside looking in, it looks that way, but I certainly don't presume to know your whole situation. Either way, good luck figuring out your feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
GirlDown Posted January 19, 2005 Share Posted January 19, 2005 Originally posted by Michael201 thank you for all the replies but ive been with my girl for 3 years and only because i happen to fall in and out of love easily does not mean i will end this relationship. the good thing is that my llove is always great for my girl. all i really need to know is how can i stop this if there anyway it's not about time...it's about feelings and respect. Link to post Share on other sites
savethedrama4allama Posted January 19, 2005 Share Posted January 19, 2005 Originally posted by GirlDown it's not about time...it's about feelings and respect. Well said Michael, if you love her you'll think past yourself, your comfort level, and the time you've been together. You don't just have crushes on others, you are even acting on it. That is disrespectful and surely would hurt her feelings if she knew. If you are going to carry on with it, you will be doing her a favor by breaking up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Michael201 Posted January 19, 2005 Author Share Posted January 19, 2005 thanks everyone. right i would hate it if i was to marry her and feel that way. is it wrong that today im feeling more inlove with her than ever? im like jumping i hate this but this is life an di have to be honest with her. Link to post Share on other sites
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