pom Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 Gonna try and keep it short and simple. Am at University, know a girl, decided i liked her. took me over 3 months to decide i did, but i finally realised i did, and now just fall to pieces. Before i decided i actually liked her, all was good, had stuff to talk about, wasn't shy about going up to her in clubs or anything, now, I fall to pieces. I think she knows i like her a bit but i'm not too sure. Its not that i don't know what to do, its just that i am hopeless and nervous about it! If i ask her out for dinner, what if she says no? Even worse, what if she says yes! then we might not have anything to talk about, I'll just be nervous, could be very embarressing. I'm only joking about that really, I know its worth the risk, I just no longer have a clue what to say to her, I want to tell her I want to go out with her but without sounding desperate, but i know if i actually started talking to her, i'd tell her she is great, make a fool out of myself and probably get nowhere. Monday night just finished, and i barely spoke to her. Next time I might see her is wednesday night, but again in a club, really, i just need the perfect advise to get me to ask her out tonight (tuesday night), for a drink/dinner, something...I just need a nudge or something. someone? Link to post Share on other sites
crazygeko01 Posted January 19, 2005 Share Posted January 19, 2005 well man I haven't been on a real date yet ....But I have some advice that might work on going out with her, Let's see you seem somewut nervous about this girl... It's not a bad thing to be like that at all maybe you should get a lil romantic or get sum jokes off line girls love funny men , Just go up 2 her tell her whats on your mind, express how you feel for her she'll understand... Or go up 2 her an talk for a min or 2 then ask "hey I was wondering if you like to go out with me to a movie,dinner,ect. to get to know us a lil better" If she says yes than your good but if no then say ok not in a depressed way just be somewut happy if rejected......Then after a lil while try again .... Also if you do not know wut to say ask about thing about family,friends, about her love life, so on.... well thats all I can give ya but if I was there with ya man I would help ya out for real..... Link to post Share on other sites
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted January 19, 2005 Share Posted January 19, 2005 just be yourself although you do learn from experience and the hard way... its the only way! Link to post Share on other sites
kit4kat Posted January 19, 2005 Share Posted January 19, 2005 How cute are you!!! Just be yourself! The only reason you have nothing to talk about is because you're so nervous, thats what happens. Once you relax and be yourself then you'll be fine. My only other advice would be to relax again around her before you ask her out, then it'll make everything else that much easier. Link to post Share on other sites
liono Posted January 19, 2005 Share Posted January 19, 2005 They're right just relax. Don't be so hard on yourself. Sounds like you have a plan go for it. You would be suprised how much stuff you can talk about. You are doing great. There is this girl I like and we have had many great conversations but for some reason I didn't think to ask her out. You are on the right track. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pom Posted January 20, 2005 Author Share Posted January 20, 2005 you guys are right. I do just need to relax about it. but I know the moment I see her, my mind will melt to pieces. I'm just not sure how I should go about it. I think one of the problems is that I so rarely find a girl I like, that when I do I try so hard to make it go perfectly, and then if I hit the slightest snag, I just worry the whole time about how I will mess up. I just need the kind of perfect line to just get her to open up to me a tiny little bit, which will then let me relax once we're in a flowing conversation, and then I'll be fine. It's just getting to that flow which will relax me that I don't know how to do!!! Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 Originally posted by BrainRightHeartWrong just be yourself although you do learn from experience and the hard way... its the only way! "JES BE YERSELF"...yeah this is bloody great advice for someone who does not know what they are doing or have little expereience. what if "YOURSELF" is some nerdy dude wearing glasses and a pocket protector who just got out of advanced physics class and can't even talk with a girl?!? Link to post Share on other sites
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 "JES BE YERSELF"...yeah this is bloody great advice for someone who does not know what they are doing or have little expereience. what if "YOURSELF" is some nerdy dude wearing glasses and a pocket protector who just got out of advanced physics class and can't even talk with a girl?!? so you got any good bloody advice for him alpha? yourself is oneself not being pretentious or putting on an act if you are not yourself she will soon sniff out the truth and think this isn't the person i met, off course you have to sell yourself a bit and show your best feathers alphamale ( excuse the pun relating to your latest avatar! ) whats wrong with wearing glasses and going to physics? there are people out there who are matched to such cases can't all be Don Juan! Link to post Share on other sites
blue16 Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 Relaxing is good advice, but sometimes I hate when people say that because when they tell you to relax it seems like they are actually putting MORE pressure on you. I'm a lot like you in a number of ways. I don't just get hooked on a girl right away, it takes a couple months of spending time with each other for me to develop an attraction. Now....I have a somewhat similar situation as you now. The difference is....that I am 'relaxed' about it. I know I just said that I hate it when ppl tell me to relax....but stay with me here. You can't just relax on a drop of a hat, there is a lot more to it. The mere fact that you are making a post on an internet forum shows that you care too much about the situation. Don't focus your attention on this situation. Do other things....hobbies, go out with friends, meet and FLIRT with other girls.....keep your mind busy. The longer you sit here analyzing possibilities and worrying about the situation only makes things worse. This chick that I am with....i always feel relaxed around her. I'm not worried about saying the wrong thing because I know that it's all in good fun. Part of the reason is that I'm meeting other chicks, talking to other girls, hanging out with friends, playing sports, playing computer games....just basically doing stuff to keep busy so that I don't even feel the need to worry about the situation. You should be doing the same. And THAT is how you 'relax' in a situation like this. You shouldn't have to tell yourself to relax.....because you already ARE relaxed. As for the date, just do something casual. Do an activity that you both can enjoy, an experience you can share. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pom Posted January 22, 2005 Author Share Posted January 22, 2005 the strange thing is, im fine with everything and know exactly what i should do. All I need help with is my getting into a conversation with the girl which would then relax me, i need that initial line which will just kind of get her to open up a tiny bit to lead into a conversation, i just have no idea what to say after 'hi, how are you'! any ideas? Link to post Share on other sites
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