BrainRightHeartWrong Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 i am wondering why breakups never ever get any easier to cope with than our previous ones! my point is it just hurts so much, it doesn't hurt less ever no matter what you do sure you can vary the time period of hurting to a certain extent like staying clear of them and NC there must be something embedded in our brains that prevents this horrible mechanism called heartbreak from ever diminishing Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Gullible Posted January 19, 2005 Share Posted January 19, 2005 That is a good question. I am 40 and have been dumped many times before with no problem. I only feel great pain when I have opened up and maybe fell in love. I was dumped 4 months ago and it still hurts. I tried to be friends after, even though I am sure, deep down I wanted more...I wanted her back. She dumped me for the very same reason I have dumped others...I thought that they were too good for me and that I could not please them. She dumped me because she, I believe, felt like she was not good enough and could not give me what I needed. We hate in others what we hate in ourselves. That is why I keep hurting. I know why she walks down that road...I was just a few ahead of her. Did your expectations exceed her abilities? Did you want to change her? I bet you could see the forest through the trees? Did she become a project that you wanted to save? When I invest in someone, I get hurt and it does not stop. Link to post Share on other sites
snickerdoodles86 Posted January 19, 2005 Share Posted January 19, 2005 Sigh.... I have to agree with you. I broke up with someone who I was dating for eight months and I am still reeling from it. It's just hard for me though cause I go to college where we grew up and there are just constant reminders everywhere. I just don't understand how people can say "you know it when they are the right one." I had a hint that things wouldn't work, but everything was so perfect and then in two weeks only TWO WEEKS everything just blew up into one hell of a nightmare. After pouring my heart and making myself vulnerable to that person, I don't think I can ever love someone again. I loved him, but he never truly loved me. That hurts the most knowing that and I don't think I will ever get over that fact. Link to post Share on other sites
VirginiaBob Posted January 19, 2005 Share Posted January 19, 2005 I can say it has gotten easier for me over time, or maybe I'm just fooling myself now. The first fiance I had honestly took me 5 years to move on and get over her. 2nd fiance - the breakup was a month and half ago, but I'm dating a wide range of women already. But maybe that's just a cover, I don't know. I notice that some days I am okay, but then, out of the blue, I'll have a day where I'm really depressed. At least these days of being really depressed get less frequent as time goes on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrainRightHeartWrong Posted January 19, 2005 Author Share Posted January 19, 2005 I don't think I can ever love someone again. I loved him, but he never truly loved me. That hurts the most knowing that and I don't think I will ever get over that fact. no, no, i know how you feel now but i guarantee that you will... when you know that someone truly loves you you love them back more, although at the time you might not realise this to the full extent hang in there Link to post Share on other sites
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