Are women in OLD lazy?

[Keenly]

You're right Keenly I'm not really looking. Still healing from the breakup. I'm not about to let someone in.my life until.my heart is fully healed. I.was just seeing what was out there.

 

I am truly sorry for what you are going through. While your heart heals, of course your going to hate everyone you see, And find some way to nitpick and discard them. At least that was my experience.

 

Good luck with the healing, and once you are healed, I bet you'll find your ratio of good profiles to bad ones might go up just a little .

[acrosstheuniverse]

I prefer to meet pretty quickly. Pointless to waste time batting texts back and forth for weeks only to meet and find there's no chemistry. I'll happily go on 30 minute coffee dates if it means I get to suss somebody out sooner rather than later!

 

I don't quite believe that being super hot as a guy guarantees you messages, either, or maybe I'm wrong? I've never messaged or replied to a guy based on him being stereotypically good looking. But then I've always fallen for people for their personalities and ended up finding them crazy sexy based on that (as long as they're at least average to begin with... but some of my exes would be considered below average I guess but had killer wit and were intelligent).

 

It's 80% about what they say in their profiles for me.

[Sith Apprentice]

Don't waste your time or money on pay sites. 90% of the time you're just messaging into thin air. These sites are a ripoff and the site owners know it.

 

Avoid the match.com meetup events. They're sausagefests filled with jaded women in 2 sets with cockblockers.

 

Do your searches only for women who've been online within the last 30 days. It's a waste of time otherwise.

 

Avoid women with "Ask Me" profiles. These are typically fake profiles with other guys catfishing you to steal your openers.

 

Avoid women with selfies that have dirty laundry strewn about the ground. These women are looking for a guy to mooch off.

 

Avoid women who don't post full body pics even if she lists her body type as athletic. Hey, sumo wrestlers are athletes right?

 

Avoid women with laundry lists on their profiles. They're looking for a fantasy and you'll never measure up.

 

Expect 1 out of 10 women to "respond" to your email in some way. (10 responses for every 100 on average). Of those 10 who respond, at least half will meet you. Of those 5 who meet you, 2 or 3 will fvuck you. This takes time, though.

 

Do NOT reveal your income bracket. Ever. You love pets and kids too even if you believe they are actually abject money pits.

 

Never take a woman you met online out to dinner unless you've banged her at least once. Take her out for drinks.

 

Take breaks, keep your profile active for no longer than 1 month at a time. You're old news after a month on OKCupid. Deactivate your profile for 2 weeks and then it's like you come back brand new when you reactivate.

Edited February 14, 2014 by Sith Apprentice

[MrTurk]

You absolutely have to learn to get out of your comfort zone and to keep pushing your own boundaries.

 

This is why I found OLD awful and only did it during a brief period when I didn't go out to socialise as much (I was unemployed after travelling and was careful with my spending), I found a lot of the guys just didn't get out all that much as a general lifestyle. They barely knew how to maintain a conversation about anything that wasn't technology related. I used OKC and would chat with all sorts of guys but many had very little skill with people. That's the main setback, OLD isn't some magic wand, just another channel to meet people. If you aren't good at socialising and lack confidence, that will still show.

 

The way you look, you shouldn't have problems talking to women, you are good looking. It's your skills.

 

I find it funny that everybody always tells the guys they need to get out of their comfort zone and mingle more… Yet at the same time nobody is ever telling women to do the same thing. The problem is, most women judge guys on this very situation that they refuse to do themselves.

[verhrzn]

I find it funny that everybody always tells the guys they need to get out of their comfort zone and mingle more… Yet at the same time nobody is ever telling women to do the same thing. The problem is, most women judge guys on this very situation that they refuse to do themselves.

 

I get told that advice all the damn time. I have been told that, if I wanted a relationship, I needed to get out of my routine and "go where guys are", because apparently nerd cons and Magic: the Gathering shops aren't enough.

 

Where do you guys get this concept that women never get the same advice as guys?? Have you actually asked women who struggle with dating? Now, if you're only looking at women who never need advice.... well no DUH people aren't telling them the same things, the women are already having success! Similarly, I don't see a lot of super-social, successful-at-dating guys getting told the same advice. If it ain't broke, don't fix it and all that.

[joystickd]

I say men and women are lazy that do OLD

[Radu]

Why would we make the effort when we get 20 messages per day from, well, quite interesting guys?

 

The truth is, on dating sites, we decide. But then you guys usually have the power when it comes to deciding whether to become committed after you go on a few dates with someone. I prefer the power guys have over the one we have, to be quite honest. Wanna exchange?

 

This is 100% true.

 

So yes OP, either don't let it bother you ... or stop using any kind of internet dating.

[MrTurk]

I get told that advice all the damn time. I have been told that, if I wanted a relationship, I needed to get out of my routine and "go where guys are", because apparently nerd cons and Magic: the Gathering shops aren't enough.

 

Where do you guys get this concept that women never get the same advice as guys?? Have you actually asked women who struggle with dating? Now, if you're only looking at women who never need advice.... well no DUH people aren't telling them the same things, the women are already having success! Similarly, I don't see a lot of super-social, successful-at-dating guys getting told the same advice. If it ain't broke, don't fix it and all that.

 

Just because YOU get told that, doesn't mean it overflows to the majority of women. I'm so sick and tired of people acting like their "one" situation changes everything!

[MrTurk]

Majority of women that do OLD are lazy. I have had countless women admit it to me. One women even said " I posted pics, that's enough work on my part ". Women KNOW that guys will be yapping at their heels in no time. And if a guy refuses to chase, she could care less.....she has 20 more dudes knocking at her door. Now we all know there are exceptions to everything, but for the majority most women will sit back and wait for a guy to find them.

[GoreSP]

I don't know which OLD sites you people are on but the only time I got 20 messages in one day is the week end I posted a picture of my rack and said I was looking for a FWB.

 

Otherwise it's been pretty much radio silence.

[Tayken]

Majority of women that do OLD are lazy. I have had countless women admit it to me. One women even said " I posted pics, that's enough work on my part ". Women KNOW that guys will be yapping at their heels in no time. And if a guy refuses to chase, she could care less.....she has 20 more dudes knocking at her door. Now we all know there are exceptions to everything, but for the majority most women will sit back and wait for a guy to find them.

 

 

One last night claimed she forgot her password and that is the reason she has no content on her profile but a pic. She later told me that she is sad that she will be spending valentine's alone......talk about a red flag

[Tayken]

Don't waste your time or money on pay sites. 90% of the time you're just messaging into thin air. These sites are a ripoff and the site owners know it.

 

Avoid the match.com meetup events. They're sausagefests filled with jaded women in 2 sets with cockblockers.

 

Do your searches only for women who've been online within the last 30 days. It's a waste of time otherwise.

 

Avoid women with "Ask Me" profiles. These are typically fake profiles with other guys catfishing you to steal your openers.

 

Avoid women with selfies that have dirty laundry strewn about the ground. These women are looking for a guy to mooch off.

 

Avoid women who don't post full body pics even if she lists her body type as athletic. Hey, sumo wrestlers are athletes right?

 

Avoid women with laundry lists on their profiles. They're looking for a fantasy and you'll never measure up.

 

Expect 1 out of 10 women to "respond" to your email in some way. (10 responses for every 100 on average). Of those 10 who respond, at least half will meet you. Of those 5 who meet you, 2 or 3 will fvuck you. This takes time, though.

 

Do NOT reveal your income bracket. Ever. You love pets and kids too even if you believe they are actually abject money pits.

 

Never take a woman you met online out to dinner unless you've banged her at least once. Take her out for drinks.

 

Take breaks, keep your profile active for no longer than 1 month at a time. You're old news after a month on OKCupid. Deactivate your profile for 2 weeks and then it's like you come back brand new when you reactivate.

 

 

WOW...You've got it all sussed out, and you are bang on. I have never tried the paid sites for the sole reason mentioned. I had better luck on pof where my only mistake was disclosing my income.

 

I do not do pets yet I didn't mention it, but I absolutely hate clutter. Selfies are a dead giveaway that the person is overweight, and the "ask me" profiles are just a waste of time like you said

 

Dinner on a first date should be a no no, however the one that I had dinner with and she paid her share, ended up following me home that night

 

It just blows my mind that most of the women on these sites, don't know what they want, some have literally just split from their ex, and some are just looking for a good banging

[joystickd]

Why don't people just go out and meet men/women? It says a lot when a man can be bold and just go up to a woman and talk. You don't have to worry about when is she going to message you or other OLD stuff. You don't have to worry about a profile that looks good but she is totally not what she is made out to be in real life.

[janedoe67]

And that would have been a perfect response because now I can make a joke about how women have 12 pairs of the same shoes or if were going really vague and obscure I could just say something like " these shoes suck.... these shows rule... oh my god, shoes. "

 

 

Point being if I can't respond if I have nothing to work with.

 

How old are you? I have a grown single daughter! LOL

[MrTurk]

Why don't people just go out and meet men/women? It says a lot when a man can be bold and just go up to a woman and talk. You don't have to worry about when is she going to message you or other OLD stuff. You don't have to worry about a profile that looks good but she is totally not what she is made out to be in real life.

 

Where are people supposed to meet men or women?? ALL the women I know complain constantly about guys trying to talk to them in public. Guys are damned if they do, damned if they dont.

 

It becomes a game....if I want to get to know a woman, I have to figure out a way to do it without making it look like I'm intereseted in her as a date...because the minute a guy shows interest....most women bolt!

 

WHYYYY do we have to make a game out of it??? I never had to do that 10 years ago or earlier.....I met a woman, I asked her out, we dated, and it became a relationship....it was simple.....I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY it has changed nowadays???

 

Its like the people that are really good at walking that fine line of not showing interest, but flirting just enough to keep their attention seem have the best success.

[Keenly]

How old are you? I have a grown single daughter! LOL

 

24 lol. Is this a compliment?

 

It feels like one but I can't trust the internet anymore.

[Keenly]

Why don't people just go out and meet men/women? It says a lot when a man can be bold and just go up to a woman and talk. You don't have to worry about when is she going to message you or other OLD stuff. You don't have to worry about a profile that looks good but she is totally not what she is made out to be in real life.

 

Because that's just not who I am. I've tried to do it the normal way, but because I'm not wired that way, its clearly visibly forced, and when I'm not in my own element ( confident in myself and my surroundings ) my appeal decreases sharply.

[MrTurk]

Because that's just not who I am. I've tried to do it the normal way, but because I'm not wired that way, its clearly visibly forced, and when I'm not in my own element ( confident in myself and my surroundings ) my appeal decreases sharply.

 

Thats how I feel about it too. People always tell me to go out and mingle. But if I go do that, I am only doing it BECAUSE I'm trying to mingle.

 

Not everyone is a social butterfly, with natural charisma. But MANY people that give advice on these forums seem to think thats the case. And they act like its "so easy" to just go out and talk to people.

 

News flash.....people dont always want to be bothered....ESPECIALLY if the guy is by himself.

 

I think too many people try to coddle posters with positive advice, instead of trying to speak realistically. They try to sike them up, and build up their confidence but situations are rarely that easy.

[joystickd]

Because that's just not who I am. I've tried to do it the normal way, but because I'm not wired that way, its clearly visibly forced, and when I'm not in my own element ( confident in myself and my surroundings ) my appeal decreases sharply.

I've never been wired that way but I found ways to get myself out there to meet women. The best way to do it is not to go out with the intention of meeting someone. Just go out and have fun. Then if you just happen to see a woman you are interested in then talk to her. It's a whole lot easier if you do it that way. OLD is like meeting women in the club because they know you all want to talk to them and the mindset in meeting men is different than say seeing them in the mall or at a festival.

[janedoe67]

24 lol. Is this a compliment?

 

It feels like one but I can't trust the internet anymore.

 

Yes. My DD has a wicked wit and she needs someone smart who cuts his hair every once in awhile lol

[MrTurk]

I've never been wired that way but I found ways to get myself out there to meet women. The best way to do it is not to go out with the intention of meeting someone. Just go out and have fun. Then if you just happen to see a woman you are interested in then talk to her. It's a whole lot easier if you do it that way. OLD is like meeting women in the club because they know you all want to talk to them and the mindset in meeting men is different than say seeing them in the mall or at a festival.

 

 

If a guy never goes out to social areas, and starts doing it like you say, hes still doing it with the intent on meeting someone. You can word it however you want......the intent is still there. THATS the whole reason he changes his social behaviors and habits.

 

I totally agree that women ACT different in general social situations vs when they have their "war" paint on at a club. Thats a given. But if a guy takes up new social habits, and begins interacting with women, just to get his feet wet, and not show direct intent, he can also risk getting stuck in the "friend zone".

 

I will keep saying it over and over.....guys are damned if they do, and damned if they dont. We arent allowed to show intent, and at the same time if we do show intent we scare women away.....its a walk on a tight rope no matter how you slice it.

[Keenly]

I've never been wired that way but I found ways to get myself out there to meet women. The best way to do it is not to go out with the intention of meeting someone. Just go out and have fun. Then if you just happen to see a woman you are interested in then talk to her. It's a whole lot easier if you do it that way. OLD is like meeting women in the club because they know you all want to talk to them and the mindset in meeting men is different than say seeing them in the mall or at a festival.

 

Two problems.

 

Referring to go out and have fun, I don't find these places fun. I do not like them. I do not like drinking. I do not like dancing.

 

second, none of my friends like to do the going out to bars and clubs thing either, so I'd have to go alone, which sounds about as much fun to me as a night in a jail cell.

 

Like I said, its not me, and I'm never going to meet a girl and get her interested if I'm doing something where I'm super uncomfortable and not being myself.

 

If because of this, I'm destined to be alone forever, then so be it. I can handle that. I'd rather be alone than have a girl that likes me for something I'm not.

[MrTurk]

Two problems.

 

Referring to go out and have fun, I don't find these places fun. I do not like them. I do not like drinking. I do not like dancing.

 

second, none of my friends like to do the going out to bars and clubs thing either, so I'd have to go alone, which sounds about as much fun to me as a night in a jail cell.

 

Like I said, its not me, and I'm never going to meet a girl and get her interested if I'm doing something where I'm super uncomfortable and not being myself.

 

If because of this, I'm destined to be alone forever, then so be it. I can handle that. I'd rather be alone than have a girl that likes me for something I'm not.

 

I'm in the same boat. I have my own hobbies. Unfortunately, almost no women partake in my hobbies.

[Keenly]

I also have to say that if I was already ON a date, I could see myself having fun at a bar or club. If that sounds a little hypocritical, I'd be happy to explain when I'm not using a touch screen keyboard.

[joystickd]

If a guy never goes out to social areas, and starts doing it like you say, hes still doing it with the intent on meeting someone. You can word it however you want......the intent is still there. THATS the whole reason he changes his social behaviors and habits.

 

I totally agree that women ACT different in general social situations vs when they have their "war" paint on at a club. Thats a given. But if a guy takes up new social habits, and begins interacting with women, just to get his feet wet, and not show direct intent, he can also risk getting stuck in the "friend zone".

 

I will keep saying it over and over.....guys are damned if they do, and damned if they dont. We arent allowed to show intent, and at the same time if we do show intent we scare women away.....its a walk on a tight rope no matter how you slice it.

Excuses excuses. Either you are going to man up and take the risk or be alone and whine about being alone. It's your choice. If you want something you never had you have to do something you have never done