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Staying friends after confessing your feelings


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I've developed a funny sort of friendship with a man a fair few years my senior. He was a regular at my work, and he was always nice. We'd have chats as I put his food through, and while I've always found him very attractive, I'm more drawn to him by the fact that he's a much better person than he gives himself credit for; he truly is a wonderful person.

 

Anyway, he asked me out one night, and I said yes. Since then, we've been good friends, but we've also been in a sexual relationship, on the terms that it was 'just sex', as he wasn't, and still isn't, ready for a romantic relationship. Which I was completely fine as friends with benefits.

 

Of course, me being me, I developed feelings for him. I'm still trying to figure out if it's love or infatuation. I believe it might be the latter.

 

I told him how I feel, even though I knew he wasn't able to act on my feelings and we've since stopped the sexual relationship, as I didn't believe that was helping. It may even be the root of it all. He told me that if I needed space, he would understand; I don't want that, although I may be moving away for university soon, so I guess that could work in well.

 

My question is, will we be able to stay friends? Even though I have feelings for him, I would much prefer to stay friends with him, than to risk losing him to a relationship that just couldn't work.

 

Also, would it ever be possible to go back to being friends with benefits once I've sorted out my feelings, or will that simply set them off again?

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You have feelings for him, he doesn't have feelings for you, you don't want to be in a relationship with him, but you want to remain as friends with benefits. This doesn't sound good at all.

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