AlexfromBoston Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 Well, around 7:40 tonight, my ex sends me a text, asking how I am doing and how she doesn't want us to remain on bad terms. Naturally, I have ignored these texts which ultimately prompted her to call approximately 2 hours later. I let the first call go to voicemail; however, I stupidly picked up the phone on her second attempt. Basically she was in the proximity to my apartment and just wanted to meet for drinks. Again, stupidly, I said I would have loved to(typical beta move). She responded, "I don't want you to get the wrong idea though. Im still not interested in getting back, I just wanted some company". At that point, I informed her that I was no longer interested in her sexually, as I have moved on to bigger and better things. She coldly responded "thats good, I am happy for you" (by her tone, she was mad) and we then terminated our conversation. Unfortunately she was the one to terminate our contact. Well, I definitely made a stupid choice to pick up the phone, but I actually need to meet up with her in the near future to go over some documents. So we did make plans to meet either Sunday or next Tuesday, depending on her schedule. Again, a beta move but I really need her to sign off on some paperwork and its to my benefit, so I have to play on her terms. So thats pretty much that. I consistently go NC for a period of time and the ex always seems to come back. Guys, please don't listen to some of the naysayers on this forum, if you go NC and play it cool, contain your emotions, and act like an alpha male, you still stand a very good shot. I must admit, saying that I would've have met her was a bad decision...it came across as weak and slightly needy...but in the end, I don't think it was all that damaging. Now I know damn right well that she was lonely, was missing my company and decided to reach out to see if I was still on the hook. I know this and unfortunately, I took the bait. However, that said, I remained calm and confident on the phone and reiterated that I was already moving on. I didn't let her lead the conversation and I basically let her know that I really only needed to maintain contact with her as I will be needing her help. As I have said, had I not needed to meet her ASAP, I would've ignored her for a few days and then maybe respond. I never completely ignore an ex when she texts or calls, but I am always polite, keep it brief and respond hours if not days later. There truly is no magic formula to getting an ex back, but I am consistently noticing that NC can be a powerful tool for both reconciliation and recovery. I swear, I have done the same things with all of my exes and they usually start texting or calling after approximately 2-3 weeks of strict NC. Basically, when they do call or text, its all in how you handle their attempts at contact. If you seem preoccupied and uncaring, it will really strike a nerve with her. if you do what I did tonight...saying you would have loved to see her and actually answering her call...then you need to back off and let her come to you. Luckily, I somewhat saved myself with my general demeanor and a "date" has been set up for either Sunday or Tuesday. I am really going to do damage control when we meet and I am going to play it cool as if I have a million females knocking on my door. Link to post Share on other sites
StGeorge22 Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 Couldn't agree more. Was on and off with my ex and every time I would take the bait and she would pull away. They just want to know they can still have you. Don't be too hard on yourself, happens to the best of us Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 well, you did what the NC Guide advises.... you gave yourself time before rersponding, and when you did, you played it cool calm and collected.... but throughout your first paragraph, you keep referring to your responses as that of a Beta Male... yet you maintain in your second paragraph that you felt very much in control. You either need to revise your personal definition of these 2 states - or decide which one you are, because you can't be both........ Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlexfromBoston Posted February 12, 2014 Author Share Posted February 12, 2014 well, you did what the NC Guide advises.... you gave yourself time before rersponding, and when you did, you played it cool calm and collected.... but throughout your first paragraph, you keep referring to your responses as that of a Beta Male... yet you maintain in your second paragraph that you felt very much in control. You either need to revise your personal definition of these 2 states - or decide which one you are, because you can't be both........ I guess I felt in control; however, I really shouldn't have answered in the first place. As I have stated, I cannot ignore this girl completely as I genuinely need to meet her regarding some paperwork she needs to review. Link to post Share on other sites
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