just thinking...........

[snappytomcat]

my grandson will be a year on the 6th(I feel to young to be a grandma)anyways about a month and a half before my daughter was to give birth,my husband dropped the bomb on me I love you but not in love with you,im going back to the east coast,i straight up asked him at this point if there was someone else,he acted pissed I would even ask such a thing.

I asked him,if he was going to be here for the birth of our first grandson?he said probably not,but iam sure she will be fine,you will be fine youre gaining a good son in law,and I will visit the baby when I can.

so we lived in the same house for a month,but more like 2 ships passing in the night,i would leave when he got home,and came home in morning(and he had the nerve to ask our daughter if I was seeing anyone else)wtf???what is wrong with cheaters,they can cheat on their spouse,but if there spouse wants to date other people they get pissed,i don't get it.

I wasn't seeing anyone,but did think about it,anways about 2 weeks before the birth we started to slowly reconcile,we did some talking and soul searching,we were both there for the birth,and never in a million years did I ever think I would be so attached to a child,its so much different being a grandparent,but the biggest surprise is how attached my husband is to him.

I just get so mad,and sad that he almost threw it all away for some physcho needy bi$$h,and would have not known his grandson he loves so much,especially living on the opposite coast,and my daughter is feisty she would have been so angry with him,and she would not ever have let the ow near her son,but dday didn't come until a few months later

iam just venting,the biggest thing is the thought that he wanted to throw it all away for some creep

[Spark1111]

hard to fathom, isn't it? harder to overcome in the long haul....

 

But that is the nature of an affair triangle. the APs isolate themselves in secrecy and the thinking becomes very, very illogical. And a psycho OW encourages it ever so subtly or not.

 

I asked my H many a time how someone who professes to love you could encourage you to self-sabotage all your familial relationships for their own personal romantic and emotional fulfillment?

 

love? Shmove. narcissistic entitlement, more likely. feeding all the negativity for their own gain, most definitely.

 

My fWS also became insanely jealous after DDay when I threw him out. His OW had convinced him I must have a BF too. He started STALKING me! Common, I think.

 

And we are over the moon about our grandchild.

 

hang in there. had he succeeded in their plans, his loss would have been great. In time, he will realize it, if he doesn't already.

 

Occasionally, the kids and I will recount a story, a memory, that he was absent for due to his affair. his face falls now and he grows so quiet.

 

he missed a lot of milestones, and he knows he can never get them back.

 

at least you will always have the solace of knowing you were present 100% in their lives.

[thummper]

my grandson will be a year on the 6th(I feel to young to be a grandma)anyways about a month and a half before my daughter was to give birth,my husband dropped the bomb on me I love you but not in love with you,im going back to the east coast,i straight up asked him at this point if there was someone else,he acted pissed I would even ask such a thing.

I asked him,if he was going to be here for the birth of our first grandson?he said probably not,but iam sure she will be fine,you will be fine youre gaining a good son in law,and I will visit the baby when I can.

so we lived in the same house for a month,but more like 2 ships passing in the night,i would leave when he got home,and came home in morning(and he had the nerve to ask our daughter if I was seeing anyone else)wtf???what is wrong with cheaters,they can cheat on their spouse,but if there spouse wants to date other people they get pissed,i don't get it.

I wasn't seeing anyone,but did think about it,anways about 2 weeks before the birth we started to slowly reconcile,we did some talking and soul searching,we were both there for the birth,and never in a million years did I ever think I would be so attached to a child,its so much different being a grandparent,but the biggest surprise is how attached my husband is to him.

I just get so mad,and sad that he almost threw it all away for some physcho needy bi$$h,and would have not known his grandson he loves so much,especially living on the opposite coast,and my daughter is feisty she would have been so angry with him,and she would not ever have let the ow near her son,but dday didn't come until a few months later

iam just venting,the biggest thing is the thought that he wanted to throw it all away for some creep

Ain't grandkids just the best!!! Like someone said, if I had known how great grandchildren were going to be, I'da had them first. lol

How are you doing, Snappy? Don't get too upset, just understand that sometimes we guys just do stupid things that we totally regret later. Just keep smiling and enjoy the grandson. They grow up soooooo fast, as I'm sure you remember with your own kids.

[harrybrown]

Yes the grandchildren help to bring some life into this dreary world.

 

If your H misses the grandkids, that will be another relationship he will miss along with the one he should be having with you.

 

When I get so upset about it all, it does help to tell them my stupid jokes.

(like do vegetarians eat animal crackers)

 

I hope he wakes up before it is too late.

[experiencethedevine]

I also have beautiful grandchildren whom I adore.

 

 

My grandson was born toward the end of my husbands affair. He was at work overseas the night I raced to be by my daughters side as she gave birth.

 

 

My husband returned when he was a month old.

 

 

I discovered that he had arrived back in the country on the 26th of January, (our grandson was born on the 4th), been collected from the airport by his other woman and whisked away to her lair and kept there until AFTER my birthday the following month. He returned two days after it ( I had believed what he had told me about being home before I was travelling abroad for a professional development course).

 

 

I did not receive so much as a text message or card on my birthday for the first time ever, which raised an alarm.

 

 

With hindsight, he was distant and disengaged when he arrived home of course, and not as excited about our grandsons arrival as I had been in his absence.

 

 

Unfortunately for him it took my daughter a VERY long time to forgive him for his absence. In light of our granddaughter having been stillborn 18 months prior, when she discovered his affair she was so terribly hurt. You see, she was always the 'Daddy's girl'.

 

 

She took it as an insult and was very hurt that he did not come home immediately to see her son and share the joy of his arrival.

 

 

It is such a sadness that these men ignore all sense of responsibility for the damage they cause to their children, let alone their grandchildren if any. Grown or not.

 

 

I understand your sadness snappy. Sometimes it is indeed difficult to fathom.

Edited February 13, 2014 by experiencethedevine
addition