For those who were the first to break NC after several months to years

[Popsicle]

What was it exactly that made you break NC?

 

Was it something you saw, heard or read that made you weak?

 

Was it seeing them somewhere?

 

Was it a holiday or birthday?

 

What was it?

[Popsicle]

I apologize ahead of time if I don't get back to this thread for several hours. Life is calling.

[Lessons]

I broke NC after 2 1/2 months apart. As it turned out, he told me that he had sent me several emails, but I had blocked all avenues of contact so I never knew he was trying to reach me. Once we reconnected, we tried the "just friends" route, but that lasted about a week - and the affair was back on.

 

To this moment (and after ending it again three days ago) I don't know why I broke NC in December. Even though he lives nearby and we used to share friends and activities, I stayed away from everywhere I might run into him. I cut him out of my life, and thought I cut him out of my heart, too - I went back to my old (married) life and tried to forget about him. The grief was astonishing - the worst thing I have ever experienced - but after about six weeks, I started to heal. I think I accepted the end of the "affair" pretty quickly, but I was still really mourning the loss of our friendship (or so I convinced myself). I just missed him SO much . . . and one day I just fell apart at my desk at work, and I broke down and sent him an email. BIG mistake! There were no actual triggers - didn't hear a song, see anything, it wasn't his birthday or mine . . . I just caved.

 

This time I walked away FOR GOOD. . . three days and counting. Wish me luck :-)

[herself]

Why do you think it didnt work the second time around and how long did it last?

Im sorry this happened and I wish you healing and peace.