Ex cheated on his girlfriend with me multiple times

[honeybee73]

My ex boyfriend, we were together for a year and a half, got a girlfriend 2 weeks after we broke up back in October. He even moved this girl in right after we split (we lived together). Anyway, he has seen me 5 times since the split while he was with her. We made out 2 of the times and slept together 3 of those. I know that was wrong of me but I still love him so much.

 

 

The last time we saw each other he told me that she had moved out. I went over to his house but had a feeling that she wasn't gone because there was stuff there like a table by the bed we didn't have when I lived there and a tv in the bedroom which he never liked having that. I think they were arguing but she wasn't gone. Well, I ended up leaving my socks at his house. Yes, I did this on purpose because I had a feeling that she was not completely gone. Well... guess who found the socks? He texted me and was not happy at all. He is so mad that I set him up. Ok... maybe I was wrong in doing this but I was a little buzzed and I thought it is time she knew.

 

 

 

He sent me a text to leave him alone, they are working things out and goodbye (first he pretended to be his girlfriend with his phone saying all this but I busted him out). The girl thinks this was a one time thing that he did (not to mention all of the texts he sent me). I guess I should mind my own business and not tell her. I feel bad for setting him up and now he hates me.

[moving2fast]

I really hope you just move on if you want a relationship that's exclusive and footed in honesty. If you sre content with the idea of the man you love supplementing his main relationship with you, well then keep at this knowing this his gf is not supposed to know you are around.

 

You two broke up for a reason, and if you want the type of relationship where you aren't a point in a shape with at least 3 sides, you need to let this go. I understand you may want what you had, but you're not getting that. You don't have to play second fiddle unless you want.

 

Him being upset about you planting the socks may be just what you need to move on away from that. He was lying to you/ misleading you and you do not have to have your intelligence insulted unless you want it to be. Maybe the other girl will leave(maybe not), if he was available and came to be with you, would you be cool with being treated like you're dumb? He has lied to you like you didn't know better think he won't do it again?

[ThatGirl213]

You do not have to feel bad about setting him up. It was more of a test for yourself to see if he was speaking the truth about his current gf moving out and you got your answer.

 

Sometimes tests and setting up actually helps us get closure.

 

I suggest you cut all ties with him and go NC and move on.

[BetrayedH]

He sounds like a real winner.

 

You should tell her so that she's no longer played for a fool. But do you even care about her? You've been sleeping with her man and didn't exactly find the kindest way to let her know that her man is cheating. If you do tell her, be kind, truthful, and apologetic.

[ThatGirl213]

Walking into their house unannounced would have only made her look like a stalker and desperate. I am not condoning cheating but I damn well think this dude deserved that for being such a jackass. From the letter I don't think the OP cares that much about the girl. She just feels bad that the man she loved was truly a terrible person and now he hates her. Coz he could have been filling the OP's head with all kinds of **** to make her sleep with him and being as vulnerable as she could be, she might have fallen for it. What was he doing at the OP's house anyway?

 

I have been there. It took me awhile to really realize my action of sleeping with my ex when he had a gf. But I know he did have a good hand in it. I was wrong to do it and so is OP. But it's not easy. The last thing you would care about right after a breakup is your ex's new gf. I did not set my ex up but eventually they broke up coz he says he couldn't see me moving on. I did not believe him, neither did I give him another chance. Later I realized after I said no to his another chance request, he happily went to seeing this girl and another one too.

Edited February 14, 2014 by ThatGirl213

[ThatGirl213]

I don't understand when you say that his gf won't go hiding when he has to chat with another girl...With the looks of it,it seems like her ex would just make her look bad if she ever did anything like that by insulting her and asking her why she even walked in there.

 

I do remember saying what she did isn't right. I don't see anything wrong in setting up someone cheating on anybody. I also think the current gf needs to know damn well whatever he did.

 

To me, you are basically saying that the current gf should have never been given any hints about his cheating habits. Why let a cheater prosper? Whether OP had sex with him or not, he damn well wanted it...I don't think OP slipped and fell on his dick 3 different times.

Edited February 16, 2014 by ThatGirl213

[moving2fast]

The last time we saw each other he told me that she had moved out. I went over to his house but had a feeling that she wasn't gone because there was stuff there like a table by the bed we didn't have when I lived there and a tv in the bedroom which he never liked having that. I think they were arguing but she wasn't gone. Well, I ended up leaving my socks at his house. Yes, I did this on purpose because I had a feeling that she was not completely gone. Well... guess who found the socks? He texted me and was not happy at all. He is so mad that I set him up. Ok... maybe I was wrong in doing this but I was a little buzzed and I thought it is time she knew.

 

 

I don't think you were wrong in planting the socks. He up and lied to you, and you did what you had to do to find the truth. You also did the current f a favor. She may assume it was one time. oh well, least she knows he had some other woman sleeping in their bed. If she's wanting to deal with that, oh well. You don't need to call and get the record straight. I think the liquid courage helped you out, because if hadn't done it you'd be thinking he and the gf were done and he'd be stringing you along.

 

 

If you want more than to be lied/treated like you don't know any better, go ahead and wait for him to come around again and start apologizing for him lying to you in the first play. If you want a relationship where it's exclusive, do not try and fix this one. If he's hooking up with you and lying to you, lying to his current gf, how do you know you are the only women he's messing with? How do you know he hasn't just cut you off and put someone in circulation like he did with his current gf? You seem to be expendable to him. I think you want me, and if I'm right, I think you need to try and find that with someone else. Someone who isn't going to treat you like you don't know any better and then get mad because he was in the wrong.

Edited February 16, 2014 by moving2fast

[acrosstheuniverse]

You are well out of it, OP. But I sense you'll be back for more, seeing as your love for him seems to prevail your desire not to be used and discarded.

 

If his current gf had no idea what had happened, I'd be more in the 'tell her and walk away' camp, knowing that she might not believe it, but also believing she has a right to know what relationship she is in. But she knows it has happened, sure she only thinks it's a one time thing but the important thing is that she knows there has been infidelity. So I think you should just cut contact and walk away, leave them to it. You can do better than somebody that engages in this kind of behaviour.

[HappyLove]

Find your dignity and walk away.