there is this cute girl I have a crush on and asked out. Need advice big time.

[Midwest guy]

Originally posted by Bronzepen

Can't you take a hint?

 

OK, I'll say it.

 

Her saying, I will call you. = I will never call you.

 

Her saying, I am busy = I am not busy but I don't want to go out with you.

 

(after receiving xmas card from you) Her saying, Thank you and a hug. = That's nice of you here is a mercy hug but leave me alone.

 

THEN Her saying, you should give card to your Mom = I don't want you to feel like I owe you anything for the gift so take it back and give it to someone else.

 

 

Bottom line, she is just being nice to you and trying let you down easy.

 

It's OK to be optimistic but don't be naive.

 

Look around, there are alot of fish in the sea.

 

Go fishing.

 

You might be right. She is a really nice girl so maybe she didnt want to hurt my feelings. She doesnt have a bf though. She said I'm too persistant with her she said.

[Hund1976]

Well you were being too persistant. That's why you need to ignore her for now. Maybe she'll change her mind and call you out of the blue one day. But that can never happen if you hound her too much. In the meantime go and ask some other girls out. Make it like a challenge, every week you have to approach and talk to five girls or something like that. If you keep trying you'll find a girl interested in you sooner or later. Plus hopefully it will take your mind off this girl.

[Midwest guy]

Originally posted by Hund1976

Well you were being too persistant. That's why you need to ignore her for now. Maybe she'll change her mind and call you out of the blue one day. But that can never happen if you hound her too much. In the meantime go and ask some other girls out. Make it like a challenge, every week you have to approach and talk to five girls or something like that. If you keep trying you'll find a girl interested in you sooner or later. Plus hopefully it will take your mind off this girl.

 

Yes, but I still like Lindsay cause there is just something I like about her. Shes got a good personality, is pretty, and she has this great smile. She is a little flirty too with me in the past. I really like her and I miss her really bad. When I call her next time should I tell her how I feel and be honest?

[Midwest guy]

Could it be better to maybe call her only a couple times a month and just talk and get to know her better and just talk about school and such then when she does comeback in town she will know me better by talking and maybe she would go out with me on a dinner date. Would that be better then calling her and keep asking her for a date? That way she will think Im not just interested in her looks, and that I'll have a better idea what she likes, and get her to open up more.

[Hund1976]

Definately don't talk about your feelings, you asked her out so she obviously knows you like her. Just ignore her for awhile and give her time to forget about you being pushy with her and then maybe the next time you talk to her things will be different. But if she's just not interested in you romantically there's nothing you can do about it. And the more you call her it will just decrease whatever chances there could possibly be of her liking you. I'm sure she's a great girl, but there are plenty of great girls out there in the world.

[Midwest guy]

Originally posted by Hund1976

Definately don't talk about your feelings, you asked her out so she obviously knows you like her. Just ignore her for awhile and give her time to forget about you being pushy with her and then maybe the next time you talk to her things will be different. But if she's just not interested in you romantically there's nothing you can do about it. And the more you call her it will just decrease whatever chances there could possibly be of her liking you. I'm sure she's a great girl, but there are plenty of great girls out there in the world.

 

True. What I mean is just calling her and talking about school and how shes doing. Is it ok to tell her I miss her?

[Hund1976]

No matter what you talk about is going to make it look like you're chasing after her, especially don't tell her you miss her. Give her some time to forget about how things went over Christmas break and then maybe you'll have better luck. I know you're probably hoping that you would call her and say "I miss you" and she'll say "I miss you too!!! I'm coming home next weekend let's go out!!!" But the chances of that happening are about 0.01%. Your only chance is to ignore her for awhile and then maybe call her in the future and see what she's up to and if she's in town ask her to hang out. But for that to have any chance to work you need to back off her for awhile.

 

Everytime you get the urge to call her go run a mile or something like that. At least then you'll be getting in shape!

[Midwest guy]

Originally posted by Hund1976

No matter what you talk about is going to make it look like you're chasing after her, especially don't tell her you miss her. Give her some time to forget about how things went over Christmas break and then maybe you'll have better luck. I know you're probably hoping that you would call her and say "I miss you" and she'll say "I miss you too!!! I'm coming home next weekend let's go out!!!" But the chances of that happening are about 0.01%. Your only chance is to ignore her for awhile and then maybe call her in the future and see what she's up to and if she's in town ask her to hang out. But for that to have any chance to work you need to back off her for awhile.

 

Everytime you get the urge to call her go run a mile or something like that. At least then you'll be getting in shape!

 

I told her I would call her in a few weeks. I feel the urge to call her everyday though cause I miss her so much. Like when she was in town for a few weeks I went into work on my days off to see her and talk. I mean this is the best looking girl Ive ever had a shot with. I mean shes single and I want her. Maybe I should move to Quincy lol?

[kanga]

OK, if I can be honest ...

 

... Seriously, if you want to call her and tell her how much you miss her -- do it. But you're going to irritate her more. But you should call if you want to scare her away and then chalk it up as a lesson learned.

 

I know you miss her, and it hurts, and you want to bleed out your heart to her, but you can't do that. I have never met you, and I'm a bit freaked out by your neediness.

 

I think it's really time to put her in the back of your mind and work super hard to meet new people and more wonderful girls. If she wants to talk to you, she'll contact you.

[Midwest guy]

Originally posted by kanga

OK, if I can be honest ...

 

... Seriously, if you want to call her and tell her how much you miss her -- do it. But you're going to irritate her more. But you should call if you want to scare her away and then chalk it up as a lesson learned.

 

I know you miss her, and it hurts, and you want to bleed out your heart to her, but you can't do that. I have never met you, and I'm a bit freaked out by your neediness.

 

I think it's really time to put her in the back of your mind and work super hard to meet new people and more wonderful girls. If she wants to talk to you, she'll contact you.

 

True, but Im not around many other women since Im not going to college right now. At work there is a couple other college students who are cute and work summers too "btw they are friends with Lin" who Im sure I could have a shot with, but Lin is cutier, and I like her alot more. She never cusses, is always polite too. She is cautious though as I've posted in other threads. I've never had a gf before and my head doc said I should try to social more and I got the balls to ask a chick out whos beautiful, and yet is my type of gal. I mean shes single too and only has had one bf before. It hurts me cause she should have at least gave me a shot.

[Hund1976]

There are hundreds of opportunities to meet girls out there. You can go to clubs, the mall, the supermarket, bowling alleys etc...

That's too bad that she didn't give you a shot, but what's done is done. You have to get over it. If calling her everyday until she gets mad at you and tells you to stop calling her will help you get over her then go ahead and do it.

[Midwest guy]

Originally posted by Hund1976

There are hundreds of opportunities to meet girls out there. You can go to clubs, the mall, the supermarket, bowling alleys etc...

That's too bad that she didn't give you a shot, but what's done is done. You have to get over it. If calling her everyday until she gets mad at you and tells you to stop calling her will help you get over her then go ahead and do it.

 

Yes. I dont want to bug her everyday though cause when she comesback to work she would be pissed at me. Id more rather wait then cause I want to date her bad even though I think I turned her off. I dont understand why she said I was too persistant and pushy? Why is it girls dont like pushy guys for?

[Midwest guy]

I still smack myself that I didnt ask her out over the summer when she had less pressure and alot more time on her hands. I think my chances were better then. I want to call her back bad already cause I miss her but I have to wait a few weeks ause I dont want to sound even more pushy.

[Midwest guy]

I wish there was hockey right now top take my mind off her Rumor has it that the season might start soon. I wish there was hockey cause I would have asked her to go to a Blues game with me.

[blue17]

ok seriously stop obsessing over this chick. You are posting 5 times a day trying to think of ways into getting her to like you. Now i'm going to give you a solution to give her the best chance to like you. Rdy?

 

You said you would call her in a few weeks. Well....DON'T. A few weeks will go by, she'll prolly wonder why she didn't call and she may even call YOU because she misses ur company.

 

Let me give you a similar situation. There was this chick last year who asked for my number. She happened to be pretty good looking, but I wasn't really interested in her. She said she would call me on a certain day. That day came....no call. I wasn't interested in this girl but I must admit I was a little confused why she would ask for my number then not call. The next time I saw her suddenly I just had the urge to talk to her and before you know it I was the one doing the chasing, not her. Of course the sexes are reversed in this situation, but you get the idea. If you want her to like you....DO NOT CALL.

 

PS - DO NOT CALL HER, trust me.

 

Btw....if you are old enough to go to the clubs, and you like hip-hop or techno music i suggest you go. Assume you are atleast an okay dancer, a chick grinding the sh*t out of you will help you take ur mind of this girl. PLEASE MEET OTHER GIRLS....another way you might attract her attention would be to make her jealous by having a girlfriend (NOT HER) to spend time with. She sees you with another girl and thinks she missed out on a great catch. I do not endorse this methods, but if you want to do SOMETHING you can try that if you must.

[Midwest guy]

Well she is almost 150 miles north in Quincy right now. She said her last day of work Im too persistant with her and that shes only in town a few months out of the year and that she doesnt like to date co workers and such. I mean shes not at work much cause shes up at school. IT could be that she doesnt like to date cause she goes to school two hours away. She doesnt have a bf she told me though and she doesnt date. I called her almost two weeks ago and she said she doesnt know if she will work this summer cause she might have a internship she said I told her Id call her in a few weeks and see what shes doing cause I told her I still want to hang out and take her out and she gave me the same thing "Ill call you" line which she never called me when she was at work a few weeks ago.

[kanga]

Yep. She's not interested. I know she's cute, yada, yada, yada. But she's not interested in you.

 

You'd do yourself a favor by doing all you can to stop dwelling. Find ways to keep yourself busy and meet new people. Seriously.

[Hund1976]

You need to read between the lines. When she says "I don't like to date coworkers" she is really saying "I don't like to date coworkers that are you" If she was really interested in you I'm sure she wouldn't care that you were a coworker at her part time college student job.

 

Just tell yourself that she's a lesbian and its her loss and move on. Maybe she'll change her tune in the future and call you someday. But you can't sit around and wait for it. Go out and meet some people.

[Midwest guy]

Originally posted by Hund1976

You need to read between the lines. When she says "I don't like to date coworkers" she is really saying "I don't like to date coworkers that are you" If she was really interested in you I'm sure she wouldn't care that you were a coworker at her part time college student job.

 

Just tell yourself that she's a lesbian and its her loss and move on. Maybe she'll change her tune in the future and call you someday. But you can't sit around and wait for it. Go out and meet some people.

 

I'll still try and call her in a couple weeks.

[JoL]

I agree with everyone else here Midwestguy...Im a 20-something female and if i said all the things that this girl had said and one..well im sorry but it would mean im trying to let someone down very gently without hurting their feelings.

 

Guys have chased me in the way you chasing this girl and let me tell you- it makes a really great guy seem really needy, desperate and clingy. I automatically start to think- if he is this needy when he is trying to ask me out on a date..what kind of boyfriend would he be?! No thanks!

 

Im sorry to say, but you are obsessing over a situation that is hopeless. I dont think this girl is interested in you. If she was, she would have called you, flirted with you, asked you when you were going to go out!

 

It doesnt matter if she is single- just because someone is single it doesnt mean they are going to date anyone.

 

If i was interested in a guy and he called me to ask me out..then i would make a concrete plan for a date with him. I would be thrilled for him to call me, not upset and annoyed because he is being too persistant. Which makes me think that this girl is JUST NOT interested.

You can keep calling her. But i really dont think it is going to make any difference. If anything it will probably annoy her even more.

It's up to you..

[Midwest guy]

Originally posted by JoL

I agree with everyone else here Midwestguy...Im a 20-something female and if i said all the things that this girl had said and one..well im sorry but it would mean im trying to let someone down very gently without hurting their feelings.

 

Guys have chased me in the way you chasing this girl and let me tell you- it makes a really great guy seem really needy, desperate and clingy. I automatically start to think- if he is this needy when he is trying to ask me out on a date..what kind of boyfriend would he be?! No thanks!

 

Im sorry to say, but you are obsessing over a situation that is hopeless. I dont think this girl is interested in you. If she was, she would have called you, flirted with you, asked you when you were going to go out!

 

It doesnt matter if she is single- just because someone is single it doesnt mean they are going to date anyone.

 

If i was interested in a guy and he called me to ask me out..then i would make a concrete plan for a date with him. I would be thrilled for him to call me, not upset and annoyed because he is being too persistant. Which makes me think that this girl is JUST NOT interested.

You can keep calling her. But i really dont think it is going to make any difference. If anything it will probably annoy her even more.

It's up to you..

 

I mean shes a polite girl so she does seem a little flirty at times. I mean just like when I was asking her out she was really polite and nice to me and kinda flirty, but then she started making lame excuses like having dinner with her cousins which turned out to be bs cause that same day at work she decided to work a few hours late to get more hours caught her there or the Im going to the movies excuse it seems she was maybe interested a little but thought I was too pushy and was trying to use excuses hoping I would not ask her out. Shes a cute girl and well worth it. Hopefully when shes in town I can somehow get her to go to dinner with me.

[kanga]

Originally posted by Midwest guy

but then she started making lame excuses like having dinner with her cousins ... Hopefully when shes in town I can somehow get her to go to dinner with me.

 

OMG! I don't know why I keep reading this thread and responding. It's like a car wreck on the side of the road. It's horrible yet I can't look away.

 

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS GOOD AND TRUE -- you have already acknowledged that she's making excuses. And they are lame. And they turned out to be BS. And she's making excuses so you'll not ask you out.

 

WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED TO HEAR? ARE YOU READING ANYTHING THAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING TO YOU HERE?

 

How old are you, by the way? I'm hoping that you are fairly young so that this can eventually be chalked up as a life lesson.

[Midwest guy]

Originally posted by kanga

OMG! I don't know why I keep reading this thread and responding. It's like a car wreck on the side of the road. It's horrible yet I can't look away.

 

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS GOOD AND TRUE -- you have already acknowledged that she's making excuses. And they are lame. And they turned out to be BS. And she's making excuses so you'll not ask you out.

 

WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED TO HEAR? ARE YOU READING ANYTHING THAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING TO YOU HERE?

 

How old are you, by the way? I'm hoping that you are fairly young so that this can eventually be chalked up as a life lesson.

 

21. But then again when I called her a week ago she was polite to me and wasnt mad I called. Shes a real nice gal but doesnt date. If she did go to dinner I think it was as a more friendly kind of thing. I mean I wasnt expecting anything romantic in the short term cause she goes to school and all and its not like Id drive almost 150 miles to see her all the time. I was hoping just to be a casual boy girl kind of date or friends. If I asked her out over the summer things would have been different maybe as she would have more time and less pressure but I was too nervous to ask her out. When she cameback to work at first I was nervous asking her out and a few days after but being nervous went away and it wasnt so bad. I mean I think she would maybe agree to go to dinner with me still and if she does how many dates before you can consider someone your girlfriend?

[Truth Hammer]

Dude, stop selling yourself like this for this bitch. She doesn't like you at all. So guess what? Tell her to **** off. Get someone who might care about you, or even better, stay SINGLE.

[Midwest guy]

Originally posted by Truth Hammer

Dude, stop selling yourself like this for this bitch. She doesn't like you at all. So guess what? Tell her to **** off. Get someone who might care about you, or even better, stay SINGLE.

 

Shes a sweet girl I cant tell that to her. I dont have the balls. Lets wait till the summer and see if I have a shot cause its not over yet.