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there is this cute girl I have a crush on and asked out. Need advice big time.


Midwest guy

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Originally posted by Adunaphel

Please *don't* call her.

 

It would drive her even more away than she already is.

And you'd really look like a stalker.

 

 

 

It is very possible.

Also, when she said she'd go out with you, she could have only been trying to be nice.

 

Might be right. Although she gave me mixed signals at first and seemed a little interested. Could it be I looked desperate talking to her everyday about going out? I think shes a wonderful babe. I miss her. :(:(

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I don't think you're going to give this up until you call her so just go ahead and do it already. Let us all know what she says.

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Originally posted by Hund1976

I don't think you're going to give this up until you call her so just go ahead and do it already. Let us all know what she says.

 

Should I call tonight or over the weekend? I mean she might be studying or something. Whats the latest I should call tonight? Should I call around 8?

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I just called her, but it went straight to her voice mail. Shes prob in a class or out. I'll call back over the weekend or tommorow night.

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Let's go over this one more time.........DO.........NOT......CALL.......HER!!! DO............NOT........CALL..........HER!!! She is not interested. You seriously sound like a stalker to me. If you can't stop bothering her, get yourself some help.

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If you called her and she got mad and said "never call me again!!!" and hung up on you would you then be able to get over her and move on?

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I suppose then. I called her just now but she was in the shower and her roomate picked up her phone. She asked who I was and told her my name and she said she would have her call me back or I'll call later I told her roomate. I was wondering should I call her on Valentines day?

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I called her and talked to her for a few minutes today. She was getting ready to go to a volleyball game. She wasnt mad at all I called her and was friendly. I just asked her how shes doing in school and all and she said fine and she asked how I was doing. She said she doesnt know if she will be back to work this summer cause she might have a internship. :(:(:( I told her also I might go back to school this summer so I would work less hours, and cause I might get fired cause they said I miss too much work and gave me a warning even though I had dr notes. I told her I would call her back in a few weeks to chat and I want to hang out with her this summer and she said thats ok she would call me :laugh: "like thats the first time shes said that" I just told her I miss her and I'll talk to her later. She wasnt mad so I guess thats a plus. Could the be I'll call you thing be her trying to brush me off? If she has a internship this summer out of town and I wont see her for a long long time I'll be dissapointed. :(:(

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Well I would only call her once or twice a month until summertime, then if she's back in town you could go ahead and try asking her out. If she gets an internship out of town then I guess you're out of luck. Don't call her too much or send her any love letters or say anything too mushy or you'll scare her off. If you can play it cool until summer maybe you'll get lucky and she'll go out with you.

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Originally posted by Hund1976

Well I would only call her once or twice a month until summertime, then if she's back in town you could go ahead and try asking her out. If she gets an internship out of town then I guess you're out of luck. Don't call her too much or send her any love letters or say anything too mushy or you'll scare her off. If you can play it cool until summer maybe you'll get lucky and she'll go out with you.

 

I think your right. When I call her next month should I wish her a happy valentines day? Notice yesterday I told her maybe we could go do something and hang out. I never say the word date to her but I say it like can we go out. I mean she knows I want to take her out on a date cause I reminded her like everyday lol and she didnt like that. So what about if she doesnt comeback to work but most likely would be in town for a little bit. So when I call her next month should I call her on valentines day?

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You should have listened to the advice in this thread and not of called her. You made every dating blunder in the book and that is why she isn't interested. Girls are not attracted to guys that come across as needy or desperate, that's just how it is. If she did have feelings for you at all, you scared them out of her by buying her things and asking her out every day. Seriously, forget about this girl, you have no chance. A lot of girls have a tough time being mean to guys who show them the kind of attention that you have. Plus girls are attention hogs and will prey on guys like yourself for an ego boost.

 

Sorry if this is a little harsh, but it is the truth, trust me here.

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Originally posted by Strike3

You should have listened to the advice in this thread and not of called her. You made every dating blunder in the book and that is why she isn't interested. Girls are not attracted to guys that come across as needy or desperate, that's just how it is. If she did have feelings for you at all, you scared them out of her by buying her things and asking her out every day. Seriously, forget about this girl, you have no chance. A lot of girls have a tough time being mean to guys who show them the kind of attention that you have. Plus girls are attention hogs and will prey on guys like yourself for an ego boost.

 

Sorry if this is a little harsh, but it is the truth, trust me here.

 

At first she did sounded interested. She said I'm too persistant with her. Although when I called her yesterday she was polite and friendly. I really do miss her though. Also shes single though. I mean even if she did or does go out with me shes only in town a few months out of trhe year and is 150 miles or so away the rest of the year for school so I can see why she doesnt like to date maybe. Well when I handed her the xmas card she said thanks and said it was so sweet of me and gave me a hug :love: which that was the reaction I wanted. I mean this is 3 days after I asked her out and that seemed like a huge plus and smooth sailing ahead. She even said she felt kinda bad and said I should give it to my mom which I told her thats ok that I bought it for her. I mean I got the hug and reaction I wanted. Then again everyday after that I kept asking her out and reminding her which she said I was a little pushy and she understood that I want to take her out but she had friends to see. only her last day at work she said Im too persistant and such. I felt shot down at that point. I asked her if we could go out this summer and she said she would see.

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Well if you call her again don't call her on valentines day or talk about your feelings for her. You should never-ever talk about your feelings with a girl until you've gone on a few dates and done at least some making out. If you want to have any shot whatsoever just keep things very light and casual until she's back in town, then ask her to hang out. But until then keep your contact with her to a minimum, if she wants to talk to you she could always call you.

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Originally posted by Hund1976

Well if you call her again don't call her on valentines day or talk about your feelings for her. You should never-ever talk about your feelings with a girl until you've gone on a few dates and done at least some making out. If you want to have any shot whatsoever just keep things very light and casual until she's back in town, then ask her to hang out. But until then keep your contact with her to a minimum, if she wants to talk to you she could always call you.

 

Is it ok to tell her I have a crush on her? If I dont call her on valentines day is it ok to call her after and wish her one? If we do go out just on a causual dinner date if she lets me should I try kissing her?

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Don't tell her you have a crush on her and don't call her to wish her a happy valentine's day. Try to ignore her as much as possible until she's back home, then if she agrees to go out with you play it cool at first. If things go well you could go ahead and try to kiss her, but don't start talking about your feelings or anything like that. The most talk about feelings you should ever do with a girl that you haven't even gone on a date with is "Hey I think you're cool, we should hang out sometime" If you start writing her love letters and telling her how much you miss her all that is going to do is scare her away.

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Originally posted by Hund1976

Don't tell her you have a crush on her and don't call her to wish her a happy valentine's day. Try to ignore her as much as possible until she's back home, then if she agrees to go out with you play it cool at first. If things go well you could go ahead and try to kiss her, but don't start talking about your feelings or anything like that. The most talk about feelings you should ever do with a girl that you haven't even gone on a date with is "Hey I think you're cool, we should hang out sometime" If you start writing her love letters and telling her how much you miss her all that is going to do is scare her away.

 

Yes. Thats what I said to her the other day. I just said well I'll call you back in a few weeks to see what your doing so maybe we could hang out and do something together. She siad "I'll call you" Im sure she will be in towm for a couple weeks during the summer if she has a internship up there then again she could use the shes busy excuse. She does come down every once in awhile since shes only up in Quincy which is less then 150 miles away. I know Easter would not be long enough. So should I call her in Feb and see when shes coming down? I mean she knows I like her cause I hit on her all the time at work. If I do take her to dinner would it be considered a date and I could kiss her ect?

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Since shes not in town much if she does go to dinner with me should I consider it a romantic kind of date then or just a friendly one with no kissing or anything like that? Also when I was asking her out a few weeks ago I said "I can always pic you up" and she said I can drive myself or meet you there. Does that mean she might not trust me driving or if she decides to leave theN? Do some girls not like it when a guy drives on a first date?

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If a girl wants to drive herself it means she wants the freedom to leave whenever she wants. (not a good sign) If you do get to go out with her sometime you just have to play it by ear. If you have dinner and afterwards she's like "Thank you, see you later!" and goes to leave and its 9PM then you shouldn't try to kiss her or anything like that. But if she's into you and after dinner says something like "want to go back to my place and watch a movie?" or something like that, then you're in there like swimwear. But the big thing is you can't seem desperate. That probably turns a girl off more then if you had a sign that said "I have Herpes" around your neck. In the meantime you should go and try to meet some other girls around where you live to help take your mind off her.

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Originally posted by Hund1976

If a girl wants to drive herself it means she wants the freedom to leave whenever she wants. (not a good sign) If you do get to go out with her sometime you just have to play it by ear. If you have dinner and afterwards she's like "Thank you, see you later!" and goes to leave and its 9PM then you shouldn't try to kiss her or anything like that. But if she's into you and after dinner says something like "want to go back to my place and watch a movie?" or something like that, then you're in there like swimwear. But the big thing is you can't seem desperate. That probably turns a girl off more then if you had a sign that said "I have Herpes" around your neck. In the meantime you should go and try to meet some other girls around where you live to help take your mind off her.

 

She lives with her parents when shes down cause she goes to school most of the year. I mean where could I take her after dinner then? Since shes not in town much I dont think shes looking for anything long term and maybe thats why she doesnt date? Do you think she would let me kiss her still?

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Well if she likes you she would probably want to kiss you. What you should do is the next time you talk to her tell her "give me a call the next time you're coming to town" then throw away her phone number and wait to see if she calls. if you chase her to much you'll never get her.

Think of it like fishing, you put some bait on the hook and then you wait for the fish to come to you. If you jump in the lake and start chasing the fish around you'll never catch any.

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Thats what I told her. She was going out somewhere and didnt have long to talk so I told her "I'll call you in a few weeks then" cause I said I want to go and hang out with her, and she said thats ok "I'll call you" Thats the same thing she always told me at work and never called me back. :(:( I mean I know the number in my head so it cant really be thrown away lol. You said I should only call her once a month so when I call her next month what should I say to her? At work she would always use "Im busy" "I'll call you" and so on but would never go out with me even after saying she would :mad: That hurt my feelings yet she goes to the movies, shopping yet she didnt even take just a couple hours out of a entire day to go out to lunch/dinner.

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Next time I call her should I ask her if she has a email addy? I mean I dunno if she would give it to me though cause she would say Id email her too much then.

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The more stuff you ask her the more you'll drive her away. Ignore her for awhile and maybe she'll become intrigued by you and then she might decide to give you a call. I know its hard to do, but you'll never get her if you keep chasing her. If she never calls you that means she's just not interested and there's nothing you can do about it.

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Originally posted by Midwest guy

At work she would always use "Im busy" "I'll call you" and so on but would never go out with me even after saying she would :mad: That hurt my feelings yet she goes to the movies, shopping yet she didnt even take just a couple hours out of a entire day to go out to lunch/dinner.

 

 

Can't you take a hint?

 

OK, I'll say it.

 

Her saying, I will call you. = I will never call you.

 

Her saying, I am busy = I am not busy but I don't want to go out with you.

 

(after receiving xmas card from you) Her saying, Thank you and a hug. = That's nice of you here is a mercy hug but leave me alone.

 

THEN Her saying, you should give card to your Mom = I don't want you to feel like I owe you anything for the gift so take it back and give it to someone else.

 

 

Bottom line, she is just being nice to you and trying let you down easy.

 

It's OK to be optimistic but don't be naive.

 

Look around, there are alot of fish in the sea.

 

Go fishing.

:)

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