RedRobin Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 (edited) This is the biggest lie I've read on these forums in a long time. This is just a way of you rationalize you being a pussy and then lying about how happy you are in doing so and removing yourself from "manhood" essentially says " I want to be a man but im too scared to be a man" Being a real man IS about honesty, character, and commitment... Anything with a penis can be exempt from those qualities and still be 'male'... And too many often are... Because that is easy and convenient. Easy to believe that being a lying manipulative user makes you a 'man'... When in reality the truth is just the opposite... Men with your viewpoint are too scared to be real men... They can't get their needs met any other way besides deception because they don't want to do the hard work of character building. Or who knows? Maybe they are genetically flawed. Supposedly there are 20 psychopathic men to every one woman. Notice the reference to a woman's anatomy. In your world... Nothing is as insulting as being associated with the feminine. I guess you believe that only women possess the positive qualities I mentioned above... Edited February 15, 2014 by RedRobin 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 Yes. All my life I've stayed away from temptation. Friends girlfriends... engaged women... married women... I've always felt karma would get me if I got with another man's woman. I probably missed out on some wild sex but have happily missed out on some life long guilt. Why would you want to get with any of those anyway....knowing too well that someone else has been in there, continues to be in there...not worth pursuing compared to a single / separated woman I have never seen the attraction in trying to get with a married woman Link to post Share on other sites
peruano99 Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 I am a good man, but I don't let women just walk over me like I used to when I was younger. There is a difference between being too nice and being respectable. Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 Doing bad things doesn't appeal to me in any way. I'm a pretty cause-and-effect type person. Treating people badly doesn't appeal to me in any way. If I had indiscriminate sex with strangers, I'd likely end up with an STD and feel used and devalued. That doesn't appeal to me. Treating men badly by pretending to be into them, while only using them, would not make me feel good about myself. So, no. I don't fantasize about being a ******. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 I am a good man, but I don't let women just walk over me like I used to when I was younger. There is a difference between being too nice and being respectable. You also know what they say about "nice guys"? They always finish last If you are a nice man, *most* women will take advantage of you Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 Why do some people equate being a nice man or a gentleman with being a doormat? They are not the same. Emotionally healthy women appreciate nice men or gentlemen. They don't appreciate doormats or douchebags. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 Why do some people equate being a nice man or a gentleman with being a doormat? They are not the same. Emotionally healthy women appreciate nice men or gentlemen. They don't appreciate doormats or douchebags. I agree that the two are mutually exclusive, and I feel people get that twisted often. Still, it's always pertinent to point out that being nice or a gentleman isn't a prerequisite to attraction, and that's the other part that often gets lost, as not understanding that leads to the kind of entitlement that ultimately makes them no different from the charismatic, attractive "bad boy" . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 Why do some people equate being a nice man or a gentleman with being a doormat? They are not the same. Emotionally healthy women appreciate nice men or gentlemen. They don't appreciate doormats or douchebags. KathyM...That is because historically from what we know / have seen, that is what usually ends up happening. "Emotionally healthy women"...perhaps you can show me where these people are hiding? Lets not kid ourselves....hidden agenda is rife when it comes to most women. Yesterday was valentine's, imagine how many threw a fit because they didn't get what they wanted Link to post Share on other sites
Shocksock Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 But they don't get quality, stable women. Some men only care for having sex with many attractive women so even though it is Quantity over Quality they are getting everything they want and can easily Monkey Branch when things don't work out. Only the relationship minded men suffer from taking the Bad Boy Route. Link to post Share on other sites
what_a_blonde Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 This is the biggest lie I've read on these forums in a long time. This is just a way of you rationalize you being a pussy and then lying about how happy you are in doing so and removing yourself from "manhood" essentially says " I want to be a man but im too scared to be a man" Wow, so he's a pu**y for being a gentleman and having respect for others? Not sure what your upbringing was, or where your definition of a man or manhood comes from, but it's obvious that your skewed definition is HIGHLY the opposite of what reality is. I hope whatever bitterness you have toward women and life eventually fizzles away and that you can find happiness, because you won't find happiness continuing to call people pu**y's for doing good, and calling them out as liars just because they say they are happy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 But they don't get quality, stable women. True but the young naive mind just sees that they attract women and they want to get those results so they emulate it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Z Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 Do you all have a "bad" side that you fantasize about? What would you do differently? I did it. To me the big lie in life is that if you do the right thing it leads to good results. Sure didn't work that way for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Z Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 (edited) "Emotionally healthy women"...perhaps you can show me where these people are hiding? Lets not kid ourselves....hidden agenda is rife when it comes to most women. Yesterday was valentine's, imagine how many threw a fit because they didn't get what they wanted For me the jury is still out on what constitutes "emotionally healthy". So far, my escort turned sb is probably the most balanced and emotionally healthy woman I've ever met. The women in my family were all either abusive, pathetically shallow, or just plain mean, and they all abuse their husbands in one way or another. I loved my mother but she was definitely half nuts. And she abused us as kids. My one sister and I are still relatively close but just recently I caught her being incredibly manipulative to the point of permanently damaging our relationship. And I thought the ex was a wonderful woman right up until I discovered that she wasn't the person she pretended to be - not even close. In short, I cannot think of one positive role model for women that I've ever had in my life. They all had families and appeared to have happy homes. But behind the scenes was a highly dysfunctional circus where the last thing that mattered was the man. Edited February 16, 2014 by Robert Z Link to post Share on other sites
TheGuard13 Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 Sometimes I wonder what I would do if I were a complete ******* (a fantasy of mine). If I actually accepted sex offers from every woman I ever had 1st dates with, my number would be over 60+, and I would be having sex with different women every month. If I actually refused to commit to any woman, I would be dating multiple women at the same time. If I actually let women pay for the dates, I would have a much fuller wallet at the end of the evenings. If I actually dated girls 15+ years younger than me, I would get high-fives from all of my dude friends. For all you men and women out there. Do you all have a "bad" side that you fantasize about? What would you do differently? How are any of these things inherently "bad?" Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 I think at this point, it's fair to say that women that grew up with no father figure, are the ones that end up with "daddy issues" when dating, and when they finally get into a long term relationship.....there whole outlook on a man is just one that isn't very good I'll always want to know what it was like for a potential partner growing up. My ex's parent split and she left home at 18 to move in with her older bf. My parents are still together after almost 50yrs Flags like this during dating should not be ignored Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 *cough* Answering the OP's question... I have fantasized, yes. But for me, there can be a very thick line between fantasies solely for getting off on, and real desires. So I wouldn't do anything differently, at all. I'm happy to keep those fantasies as fantasies, especially as I know how they would play out in reality (not well). Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 *cough* Answering the OP's question... I have fantasized, yes. But for me, there can be a very thick line between fantasies solely for getting off on, and real desires. So I wouldn't do anything differently, at all. I'm happy to keep those fantasies as fantasies, especially as I know how they would play out in reality (not well). Freudian Slip perhaps....not "fine line" or "thin line"? Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 Freudian Slip perhaps....not "fine line" or "thin line"? Nope. I meant the exact opposite of 'thin'. Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 KathyM...That is because historically from what we know / have seen, that is what usually ends up happening. "Emotionally healthy women"...perhaps you can show me where these people are hiding? Lets not kid ourselves....hidden agenda is rife when it comes to most women. Yesterday was valentine's, imagine how many threw a fit because they didn't get what they wanted So in other words you are saying that a man has to be an *******, or otherwise he will become a doormat if he isn't one already. Nope, sorry, not buying that. Neither extreme is healthy. If you are that afraid of losing yourself and your own will when in a relationship, then maybe you are not cut out to be in a relationship. Men can have a healthy relationship and a healthy level of individuation where they are taking care of both their relationship and their own interests, and not going to the extreme of either end (a doormat or an *******). Healthy men can do that. Unhealthy ones think they need to be an *******, or end up being a doormat. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
janedoe67 Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 Too many men assume that being Ryan Gosling's character at the START of the movie Crazy, Stupid Love is the way to go. Watch to the end. It's NOT Any man can be an immature asshat who teats women like crap. You don't even have to be intelligent to do that. A REAL man isn't afraid to treat a woman like a person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 So in other words you are saying that a man has to be an *******, or otherwise he will become a doormat if he isn't one already. Nope, sorry, not buying that. Neither extreme is healthy. If you are that afraid of losing yourself and your own will when in a relationship, then maybe you are not cut out to be in a relationship. Men can have a healthy relationship and a healthy level of individuation where they are taking care of both their relationship and their own interests, and not going to the extreme of either end (a doormat or an *******). Healthy men can do that. Unhealthy ones think they need to be an *******, or end up being a doormat. You know all this from being a man then.....or because this has worked out for you in your own relationship? I am not saying what think you thought I said by the way... My point again....usually when woman say "he is a nice guy", they are alluding to the fact that they are able to get their way with such a man. The old what is mine is mine, and what is yours is ours mentality Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 You know all this from being a man then.....or because this has worked out for you in your own relationship? This is what I studied about in my graduate level psychology classes. How to have a healthy relationship while maintaining a healthy level of individuation, where you are neither self absorbed (*******) or enmeshed with an unhealthy level of losing yourself in the relationship. I don't have to be a man to know this principle. This principle is actually the same for women as well--it is not healthy to be at either extreme (doormat or self-absorbed bitch). I am not saying what think you thought I said by the way... My point again....usually when woman say "he is a nice guy", they are alluding to the fact that they are able to get their way with such a man. The old what is mine is mine, and what is yours is ours mentality So you know all this from being a woman then? You know how women think? *wink* You have some pretty skewed ideas of how women think, and are generalizing it to all women. SOME women may think "nice guy" means someone she can take advantage of. Many other women think "nice guy" means just that--a nice guy who is good/kind/polite to others. Not a doormat. Or do you equate being good/kind/polite as being a doormat? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 Too many men assume that being Ryan Gosling's character at the START of the movie Crazy, Stupid Love is the way to go. Watch to the end. It's NOT Any man can be an immature asshat who teats women like crap. You don't even have to be intelligent to do that. A REAL man isn't afraid to treat a woman like a person. Of course this is the female fantasy - Man who is super attractive, charming, smart, rich, easily can seduce women - but when he finds the right woman, he changes into a nice, caring, monogamous guy. But still retains his good looks, charm, money etc. As long as women realize this doesn't happen in real life. Romantic comedies to women are what porn is to men. Fantasy, and not worth putting any stock into for real life situations. Link to post Share on other sites
janedoe67 Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 Of course this is the female fantasy - Man who is super attractive, charming, smart, rich, easily can seduce women - but when he finds the right woman, he changes into a nice, caring, monogamous guy. But still retains his good looks, charm, money etc. As long as women realize this doesn't happen in real life. Romantic comedies to women are what porn is to men. Fantasy, and not worth putting any stock into for real life situations. Uh, yeah, I get that. I don't generally confuse Hollywood with reality. Some men do though. Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 Since when are attractive, intelligent, charming, etc., guys not able to be monogamous? A person's morals and character are not tied to their attractiveness level. Or their level of intelligence. There are attractive, intelligent and charming *******s disguised as gentlemen, and there are attractive, intelligent, and charming men with good character. Link to post Share on other sites
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