Alternatives To the Bar Scene?

[Live_wire]

I went out tonight and visited some of the "hot spots" downtown.

 

It seemed like most people were pretty friendly. I was approached by 4 or 5 women tonight. There may have been others, I'm not sure. A couple on the street, and the rest inside the bar.

 

I'm not saying I'll never step into another bar again, ever, but I'd like to mix it up with other ways of meeting people. I've tried taking classes, which can be great if you actually enjoy the class. I don't enjoy the online dating process at all, so that's out.

 

Any suggestions would be great. Let's consider this a brainstorming session.

 

I may even go out for another night on the town later this evening (saturday). I probably didn't stay out long enough to really have a good time (got out around 9 PM, and left after about an hour).

[funnywoman]

Try meetup. There are a lot of activities on there and you may find new friends that are interested in the same activities you are interested in.

[KathyM]

I agree with the previous poster. Meetup groups or interest groups are a good way to meet potential dating partners.

[Tayken]

Then there is the obvious places...library, Costco, Bookstores, best buy, grocery stores, departmental stores...you will be surprised at where there are eligible women

[Mr Scorpio]

I went out tonight and visited some of the "hot spots" downtown. It seemed like most people were pretty friendly. I was approached by 4 or 5 women tonight. There may have been others, I'm not sure. A couple on the street, and the rest inside the bar.

 

 

 

So, what's the problem with the bar scene then?

[somedude81]

Then there is the obvious places...library, Costco, Bookstores, best buy, grocery stores, departmental stores...you will be surprised at where there are eligible women

Do women want to be asked out by guys they meet at Costco?

[Tayken]

Do women want to be asked out by guys they meet at Costco?

 

Do women want to be asked out by men they met in a bar? You make it sound like Costco is a bad place...it's just another venue. There are many singles that frequent Costco, home depot, Lowes etc

[somedude81]

Do women want to be asked out by men they met in a bar? You make it sound like Costco is a bad place...it's just another venue. There are many singles that frequent Costco, home depot, Lowes etc

Women go to bars expecting to get hit on right? Or, more specifically, they go to bars to get hit on.

 

I'd assume that when a woman goes to Home Depot, she's looking to buy something she wants.

 

Would a woman appreciate some dude walking up to her and start talking to her and trying to get her number?

[Tayken]

Women go to bars expecting to get hit on right? Or, more specifically, they go to bars to get hit on.

 

I'd assume that when a woman goes to Home Depot, she's looking to buy something she wants.

 

Would a woman appreciate some dude walking up to her and start talking to her and trying to get her number?

 

 

If she is single, in the middle of a DIY, and you are half decent/friendly/charming...then YES. There is a method to this, you aren't just going to walk up to her and say "hey beautiful, how about it?" I happen to talk to and meet single women (after checking their finger) all the time at these places...a wicked smile and approach goes a long way

 

You are making a blanket assumption that women that go to bars are "asking for it"....perhaps that is where the problem lies?

 

I personally won't trust a woman I meet in the bar...having been down that road before and knowing what happened in the end, I won't necessarily want to be dating a woman that likes going to bars...she will disappear the same way she came to you

 

Because it's the last place people think of that they are going to meet someone, it can actually work in your favour

Edited February 15, 2014 by Tayken

[somedude81]

If she is single, in the middle of a DIY, and you are half decent/friendly/charming...then YES. There is a method to this, you aren't just going to walk up to her and say "hey beautiful, how about it?" I happen to talk to and meet single women (after checking their finger) all the time at these places...a wicked smile and approach goes a long way

And that method is?

 

You are making a blanket assumption that women that go to bars are "asking for it"....perhaps that is where the problem lies?

 

I personally won't trust a woman I meet in the bar...having been down that road before and knowing what happened in the end, I won't necessarily want to be dating a woman that likes going to bars...she will disappear the same way she came to you

 

Because it's the last place people think of that they are going to meet someone, it can actually work in your favour

I've never actually tried to meet a girl in a bar.

 

I mostly stick to places where I can talk to a girl on a regular basis a couple of times a week. Once I get a feel for who she is I ask her out.

 

I don't make a good first impression so I generally try to avoid asking out strangers.

[Tayken]

OK....I see where the problem lies here, you are saying "girls", while am saying "women", so on that note....perhaps you are better sticking to the bars as some "girls" don't even have the money for Costco membership, they will have to ask their moms (women)

[Live_wire]

So, what's the problem with the bar scene then?

 

 

The women aren't that attractive. Also, I usually go by myself, so if I'm not being approached, or approaching someone, it can get boring very quickly.

[what_a_blonde]

Then there is the obvious places...library, Costco, Bookstores, best buy, grocery stores, departmental stores...you will be surprised at where there are eligible women

 

 

^^^ This.

 

You won't believe how many women go to bookstores and coffee shops (i.e. Barnes & Noble, Starbucks, FYE, Hastings) on a Friday night alone... all dressed up.

 

I didn't realize this was such a common way to pick people up until one day, after work on a Friday, I decided to plant myself in a Hastings with my laptop to finish up some work. Around 7pm, I couldn't believe how many dolled up gals I saw walking through the doors, and same with guys. It was entertaining to sit back and watch from afar as they all danced around the magazine section, acting like they were looking for magazines, when really... they were just stalking their prey. lol

[Live_wire]

I live in a small-ish town, and there aren't any large independent or chain bookstores in the area. However, I will definitely look into the other options mentioned. Even costco!

[Live_wire]

It looks like friday nights are not a great night for going out.

 

Saturday was far better, by a huge margin. The party was on! I stayed out a lot longer.

 

The girls (and guys) are really friendly. I think 7 or so women approached me this weekend. Several bro's started up conversations and/or approached, including a gay guy trying to cop a feel (hand around lower waist). Rather creepy.

 

 

I think this was a good brainstorm session: not every suggestion has to be "ideal," but it's good to get a lot of ideas out there.

 

Even best buy can be decent: I've had girls make moves on me there.

[Absinthe]

Try sports that are unisex - not football or rugby since teams for those sports are typically gender segregated, but join a squash club, tennis club, triathlon club, running club, aquathlon...you name it.

 

Indoor rock climbing is my biggest hobby and guys get chatting to me there all the time. So far, nobody so interesting, but there are new guys to meet every week! Meetup or Facebook makes it even easier to tag along with an established club or group.

[Live_wire]

More great suggestions!

 

I'm going to have to move to a different city. The city I'm in sucks.

 

As far as nightlife, pretty much saturday is the only worthwhile night to go out around here.

[Live_wire]

I went to a meetup!

 

It wasn't bad. I had a 'frank' conversation with one of the attendees. She said meetup is an option of last resort. She said you're already supposed to have friends from school, or work or some other established, acceptable social network.

 

Going to a meetup is a bit embarrassing she says, since it implies you have no friends and are therefore a loser.

 

I asked her if it's acceptable to attend meetups if you are new in town and don't know anyone. She said it wasn't even though it seemed like a plausible explanation or alibi. Good times!

[hasaquestion]

And that method is?

 

Walk up with a smile, posture and eye contact, say something dumb and introduce yourself, and be completely calm and confident in yourself in the process.

 

If she thinks you are cute, you're in.

 

 

Its actually BETTER than trying to meet someone in a bar. At the bar you're just another guy who tried to say hi with a drink in your hand. If you do it cold? Its like wow who is this guy he's both cute and he's got huge balls.