Being Single

[Scales]

Something I noticed after Valentines yesterday is how different being single has become over time in society. Its no longer synonymous with being strong or independent, but rather has become a new class of "lesser" individuals. Being in a relationship has become another check on the list of life goals proving your success in comparison to others in society, much like having the new iphone. If you aren't in one, you can't be respected in the same way.

 

I'm single but I'm enjoying it. I wanted to spend some time in my current late 20s doing exciting things, and enjoy some hooking up and general cold approaching before I settle down in my 30s. This year in particular I was surprised at all the media hype and videos about Valentines Day. Facebook feed was nothing but couples sharing everything about their evening. It kind of made me laugh in someways. I find as people get closer to 30(and beyond) they drift more towards being around their significant other and less around their friends unless it can be a couples outing. Some of these people are in a relationships with each other because they need it which kind of blows my mind. People more and more seem desperate to have someone around them which is a vibe I never really picked up on so strongly until this year. Acting content with being single has reached an all time low that has a divergent effect from the rest of society. Fewer people care about whether their relationship will be healthy and are more concerned with having anybody who fits their social standard.

 

To summarize, relationships or not being single has become part of the trendy lifestyle needed in order to fit in. Have an ipad, buy the northface jacket and rayban turtle hipster sunglasses, workout, get a haircut like a celebrity, and be in a relationship. I feel as though people stopped letting themselves define their own rules a long time ago. Now more than ever we live in an image based society. The path to a relationship is forged by fitting in, not by who we are and the connections we make. Stronger filters and standards are popping up daily for both sexes. We share everything now, so there is no question to who is single and who isn't.

 

Therefor, if there is any advice I can give to people seeking relationships, it would be to change your image. Its what I believe currently has the strongest affect on success.

[HappyLove]

I think being single is the same as it's ever been. Couples have been marrying the wrong person since marriage began because of how it looked being single. I think social media just makes it easier for people to "express their love".

[Under The Radar]

I agree that the principle of individualization is slowly dying in this country in favor of conformity. I'm a lone wolf and definitely tend to live by my own principles more often than.

 

I always laugh at the scene from the movie "Crazy Stupid Love" where Ryan Gosling is making over Steve Carell's character for dating purposes. I've thought, "I wear GAP jeans on occasion, have carried a Velcro wallet from Maxpedition, and own a pair of New Balance. I only like to bust out my suits and wingtips on those special occasions .

 

Interestingly, I'm currently single AND I don't own an I-Phone. Maybe that puts me in the unpopular category, but isn't that a good thing? I COULD get dates if I so chose, but I really enjoy my freedom ATM.

 

Living my life on someone's else's timeline or by their rules has never been compelling to me. If and when I enter another LTR, my identity will come with me, and there will be plenty of room for healthy compromise in the future.

 

BTW, I enjoyed your post and definitely connected with the message ...... thanks .

[somedude81]

I've always got the impression that people who are single are "less than" those who aren't.

 

There is a reason why just about every movie or TV show has some kid of love story sub-plot.

 

Hell I love to watch anime and there is always some romance sh*t thrown in.

[Frank2thepoint]

I agree that the media paints singledom as the ugly side of life before transitioning into the beauty of being in a relationship. Like a caterpillar before metamorphosing into a butterfly. But the media is just a reflection of societies habits and desires. People buy in to the idea being in a relationship, no matter how unhealthy, is better than being single.

 

But I believe it takes a strong mind, will, and character to resist the temptation to just fit in with your peers. Having standards, wanting a healthy relationship, wanting a balanced partner that complements you, sets a person apart from the common rabble that hook up and post on social media that they have someone in their life, whether it's a quality partner or not. But people love drama.

[kart180]

I agree that the media paints singledom as the ugly side of life before transitioning into the beauty of being in a relationship. Like a caterpillar before metamorphosing into a butterfly. But the media is just a reflection of societies habits and desires. People buy in to the idea being in a relationship, no matter how unhealthy, is better than being single.

 

But I believe it takes a strong mind, will, and character to resist the temptation to just fit in with your peers. Having standards, wanting a healthy relationship, wanting a balanced partner that complements you, sets a person apart from the common rabble that hook up and post on social media that they have someone in their life, whether it's a quality partner or not. But people love drama.

 

Totally agree, media says u must be married to be happy, not true I am single but I am just waiting for the right women.

[regine_phalange]

Totally agree, media says u must be married to be happy.

 

My grandma too. She also has a bit of weak short term memory and tells me every 30 minutes when I visit my family. I'm afraid she is going to brainwash me.

[kart180]

I also have strange dreams, I am in bed and my wife walks in sexy lingerie which I bought her for her B Day and we end the night have passionate love making then cuddle and watch Netflix.

I know its strange

[kart180]

My grandma too. She also has a bit of weak short term memory and tells me every 30 minutes when I visit my family. I'm afraid she is going to brainwash me.

 

I know I want to get married but I am just not ready. Maybe text buddies but no more. Not really good at the dating 'game'

[Teraskas]

I also have strange dreams, I am in bed and my wife walks in sexy lingerie which I bought her for her B Day and we end the night have passionate love making then cuddle and watch Netflix.

I know its strange

Not too bad.

I don't know why but most of my 'relationship' dreams always involve me standing on a balcony. Both hands resting firmly on the railing, while I'm wearing my long black leather coat. (All my other clothes too, don't want to give you the wrong impression, lol. xD )

A gentle breeze in the background which makes it flow.

Then a few seconds later I hear high heels behind me and a woman's hand resting on my right shoulder.

Yet, when I turn around there's no one.

The strangest part of all this, is that when I wake up, I can still feel the dim gentleness of a woman's hand on my right shoulder.

 

Strange, and frustrating at the same time to say the least. :/

 

On topic: Yeah, it feels as being single these days is forcibly equal to being branded an outcast.

Sure, I want to change my single status, but when it happens it won't be to satisy society's demands.

It will be because I'll finally have found someone and accepts me for who I am. I'm not prepared to change myself in order to appease the masses.

Someone who doesn't reject me and knows what she wants from life.

Edited February 16, 2014 by Teraskas