starrynight124 Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 I’ve been seeing this guy for three months now. He’s an amazing person, really great heart. He’s respectable and mature. He’s always doing what’s best for me. But last year both of initiated and went through terrible breakups with our first loves, with whom we were with for years (me 5, him 6). At the same time, we are in different, busy phases. I just started college on a full ride scholarship, and he just graduated and his career is skyrocketing. *So we agreed that we’d take things slow for now and take time before we decide to be committed in a relationship We’ve been seeing each other almost every day. We tell each other we like each other, that we miss each other, that we want to be there for each other. One time he told me that though my entrance in his life was unexpected, he’s scared I’ll leave him because he knows it will hurt him a lot, but he doesn’t want to mess things up because he knows he’s not ready, yet he wants the world to know I am his in the future. And part of me wants the relationship. I wasn’t expecting to like someone this much at this time, but he makes me realize why it never worked out with anyone else. He makes me a better person and we just respect and support each other through everything. Yet I also have serious trust issues. I am not exactly sure he is completely over his ex, I know that he still talks to her and assures her he doesn’t have a girlfriend. This has honestly made me just want to stop seeing him since I really can’t handle something like this after what I went through with my ex. But my feelings for him are strong, and we did agree on no strings, so I just want to be there for him. Suddenly, however, I found out that I was pregnant. It is a HUGE shock since I’m on the pill. We talked about what if I was pregnant before, and because of our situations, we agreed on abortion then, but now that this is real, I’m not too sure anymore. I’m starting to question moralities, but I know that I am in no way ready for this and that I couldn’t support a child and that it would be unfair because I wasn’t ready and the father would want me to just get the abortion. What should I do? Should I just go ahead with the abortion? Should I tell him? Should I just stop seeing him altogether after all? Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 Hmmmm...when two hetero people have sex, one person gets pregnant, it's just the way it is if no protection is used, and there is ejaculation. Anyway...you mentioned you have a full scholarship and want to make something of your life correct? I think it will be wise of you to make this your priority to better provide you with a good start in life Well of course the baby can be put up for adoption to a couple struggling to have one, and that will be better placed to provide for and look after the child. You should not be looking as this as your way to tie the guy down for yourself. Yes you are having a baby, it doesn't mean he has to stay with you as long as he is paying child support...see where am coming from? As some fools think simply getting pregnant and telling a guy will mean they get to keep him. The decision is yours, not one that will made for you by randos on the internet 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ja123 Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 I think you should tell him. He deserves to know. Good luck! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GoreSP Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 You should definitely tell him. His answer may surprise you. It's one thing to say 'if you get pregnant I'd be fine if you got an abortion', it's another to know you are pregnant for sure and making a decision based on that. Don't expect him to change his mind but he still should know. Check with your university if there are 'procedures' in place for female students who get pregnant. They may have some sort of daycare for their students too. Having this baby may not mean you have to give up everything you currently have. At the university where I work, female grad students with a 'full ride' are allowed some time off for pregnancy without it affecting their scholarship. Finally, the decision to abort or not is yours and yours only. This isn't a situation where you should let people opinion on the matter influence your decision. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
newmoon Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 start by telling him. he has a right to know. and go from there; make a decision you can both be happy with. good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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