What does his reaction mean?

[Bonnie27]

I was talking with my friend earlier and she said she doesn't even think my partner is done with this woman. She said it sounds like she's done with him but the fact he can't shut up about her even in a negative sense she said says a LOT

 

He seems very withdrawn and isn't saying much in general since

[Diezel]

I was talking with my friend earlier and she said she doesn't even think my partner is done with this woman. She said it sounds like she's done with him but the fact he can't shut up about her even in a negative sense she said says a LOT

 

He seems very withdrawn and isn't saying much in general since

 

DUH.

 

What'd you think was going to happen?

He's never going to be honest and dedicated and committed to you.

 

Maybe one day you'll understand that and process it and stop this nonsense.

[2sunny]

A CEO doesn't come in for nothing.

 

You keep thinking your BF is innocent and he's not.

[stillcold]

Bonnie, I just skimmed everything so I may not be well aware of all the facts. Again, I am very, very, very sorry for you to be in such a predicament and my heart goes out for you.

 

I don't know all the details, but I feel if you could somehowget a chance to talk to that woman about what truly happened since your man is not being honest, then it would save you a lot of headache and you would have the full story to put you at peace. Again, I haven't read all the details of this thread to know if it's possible for you to talk with her, but if you can reach out to her and get the story from her. The only thing you two both have in common is that you are both hurt, use that to your advantage. Good luck...

[ascendotum]

I know a bit more now.

 

My partner had a meeting with the regional manager there to witness as the manager of that facility is part of the packet documents too. She's alleging she was bullied and harassed in her treatment there and that everyone ignored her pleas for help

 

I have asked my partner to bring home the paperwork he received so I can see for myself

 

Your partner might not have access to photocopy sensitive coy documents like this. For two people who have hardly spoken in a year I don't get why the sudden legal drama. Who bullied & harassed her...that 1 minute confrontation she had with you at a party ages ago?

She supposedly was on good terms with your partner not so long ago to ask him for references for a new job. You wouldn't do that with a manager who was bulling or still sexually harassing you. I suspect there might be over & under exaggeration from both sides here.

Your partner pretty much had an emotional affair here at one point for sure but how much of it was really unwelcome by her at the time or has been on-going unknown to you and how much is getting blown up as part of possible "here's some $ just go-away" sexual harassment opportunity by her here now, you might not know for a while.

[2sunny]

You need to see the papers. It would give you a better idea about what's happened between them.

[Leigh 87]

It is upsetting that some women have no boundaries.

 

I was once like this and it is an awful way to live.

 

If a man falls in love with another woman, the woman should just leave. It is that simple and yet so hard for so many to do.....

 

I am not sure why Bonnie doesn't want a man who is totally dedicated. After my fair share of men who just weren't into me, I finally found a 100% dedicated guy, I am sure Bonnie could too.

[Leigh 87]

Bonnie - you cannot just live for your kids - you have to look after you, too.. you have to do what is healthy for you.

 

Staying with a man who fell in love with someone else is bad for YOU - you would be much happier with a man who is 100% loyal and dedicated - they are out there, men like this.... they may not also be tall, handsome or buzzing with chemistry but there ARE nice and genuine men who would be totally dedicated to you and your kids.

 

Your kids have two parents that love them. That is all that matters. They will not grow to resent you because you wanted to seek out a man who didn't fall in love with another woman.

 

Please just think for one minute about YOU. Please stop living only for your children, they need a mother who is happy and healthy. You need to take good care of your own emotional needs.

 

It is toxic - to stay with this man who has fallen in love with another woman - He wasn't totally dedicated to you, men who are dedicated do drool over other women, they do think about other women when they jerk off mostly....... they may even have moments where monogamy seems boring.

 

I have moments when I think that monogamy is really limiting! However, I always come back to thinking how lucky I am to have a totally loyal and dedicated partner!!!!! If your partner remotely had " in love" feelings left in him towards you, he would have tried to fix things with YOU, before allowing his emotional affair to continue.

 

I have had some thoughts lately surrounding my own partner and if I ever seriously thought that our relationship was at real risk - namely, me leaving due to not wanting to give up the search for the ideal partner - I would TALK TO MY PARTNER before allowing myself to fall for another man.

 

I would say " crap, I am indulging in chemistry I share with this other man, I can see myself falling for him in the long run, this is not good, I am going to cut contact with this man immediately and work on my own relationship, and have a real think as to whether this current relationship is worth saving"

 

THAT is what you do when you genuinely are in love ^^^^^^^^^^^

 

Your partner loves you as a person, surely..

 

He is not in love with you and he may well never be again - if he was, when a man is in love he tends to revert back to his partner and try to desperately fix things if he finds himself falling for others - mostly when this happens, people break up - they don't want to be monogamous with a person that doesn't compel them to want to give up the search...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Please do what is right for you rathe than thinking primarily about your kids - you have needs too.

[ExpatInItaly]

I doubt you will be allowed access to those papers now. And

I would not try to contact her right now; that could really come back to bite you. I agree with your friend who says your boyfriend is still in love with her. But I strongly disagree that this woman isn't considering legal action. A regional manager and CEO would never show up simply because some woman is trying to "cause a headache". Come on Bonnie, don't be in such denial. Deal with the real problem here instead of focusing on the details: your guy doesn't love you and cheated on you. If not for his actions, you wouldn't be in this mess. Why is it ok for you? What do you tell yourself that justifies remaining in this horribly toxic situation?

[Leigh 87]

Sadly, Bonnie is settling for "second best" in her partners life....

 

Bonnie is the consolation prize - her partner is NOT over the moon to be with her - bonnie is a solid, comfortable option. This woman is the person who lights his fire and makes him feel at his happiest.

 

I have had issues with my partner; the thing that keeps me with him during out darkest moments is the fact he is, without a doubt, in love with me. I am his first choice - I light up his face and his eyes and there is just no consolation for me - without me it would take a good, long time to find this sort of a love again for him. I am not second best to the women he wishes he could be with and I never feel that I will be.

 

All I can say is - Bonnie, how do you feel about being second best? If your bf could wave a magic wand, do you think he would wish for you? Do you think he would wish to be with this women that he is clearly in love with still?

 

Do you think you are the first choice for your partner out of all the women he sees/will come across in his life?

[No Limit]

Bonnie, I would like to ask you, what would need to happen to motivate you to leave that twat?

Just asking because I believe your thread will break a record in length and timeline. The longest affair thing I've heard about was 13 years - but from the point of the OW. Your "partner" can replace her with some other woman though, and there've been wives known to just shrug it off and stick to playing good, happy household instead. Will you be one of them? If yes, please focus on your kids and friends only. Stop thinking of your boyfriend or what he does and with whom entirely, if the status "not single" is all that matters to you.

Edited October 25, 2014 by No Limit

[heartshaped]

I've come across this thread once or twice, but never really bothered to read or comment simply because I know your type. You are the type that knows deep down your spouse is unfaithful but refuses to leave or do anything about it. People have their reasons, I try not to judge, and I move on.

 

But today I came across your thread again astonished not so much that this is still going on, but rather you were still posting about it and read it through and through.

 

Part of me believes you may be a troll, but maybe that's just my hope that someone would not stay in a situation like this after all he's put you through. Part of me believes no matter what I say it will go in one ear and out the other, but nevertheless, I am going to tell you some truths that I believe have yet to be said.

 

1. I've seen many posters talk about how your partner really isn't in love with you he's in love with the other woman etc, but the truth is your partner doesn't know what love is. You don't do these types of things to people you love. Many people equate love with sparks and romance and Disney movies, but that's not love. Love is an action word. Love is loyalty. Love is kindness. Love is honesty.

 

I'm not saying he doesn't care for you, I'm saying he doesn't truly know how to love anyone. I sincerely believe he cares for you, you can't have two children and a history as long as yours and not, but he doesn't love you or this other woman. If he really gave an iota about her he wouldn't have placed her in the situation he has (as being the other woman) and if he truly loved you he would have never even placed himself in a situation to develop feelings for this woman.

 

He's in lust with her pure and simple. She's young and beautiful and different (than you). That's the score of things. She's a fantasy. He's infatuated with her and has mistaken it for love.

 

Whether she loves him or not is irrelevant and I won't even speak upon that.

 

2. She's the one holding all the cards here. I don't think you have ever realized that. It's not you and it's not him, but this third party who has all the control of your lives and of your relationship. She ended things with him when she found out you were pregnant. Maybe out of some sense of decency or maybe out of a sense of betrayal (ie how could you knock her up when you claim to love me?!).

 

It doesn't matter. But the point is your life really depends upon the whims of this woman. I'm sure if she called him tomorrow and told him she'd have him he'd leave you so fast you wouldn't know what happened.

 

I'm sure if she had wanted to things would have become sexual as well. Perhaps they did, really, it doesn't matter at this point either way.

 

3. You are doing everything in your power to minimize this affair. Not telling anyone outside of your one friend (who by the way gives terrible advice), not enforcing any real consequences upon him, and believing whatever lie he's feeding you this week because you don't want to face the truth and reality of what is happening around you.

 

I get that. I really do. You've been with this man for a good chunk of your adult life, have two kids together, love him, and outside of this, you are happy with your life together.

 

But I'm telling you, if there is a shred of any hope of making this work, you need to get your head out of the sand and stop minimizing this affair. Expose him to everyone. Yes, it's going to change the way they view him, but that is his problem not yours. He did this to you and to your kids. He's still doing this to you and your kids and I say your kids because he is likely to lose his source of income behind this fiasco.

 

The point I'm trying to drive home is he does not get to have an affair and get off scot free that's just not how things work. If you don't enforce any types of consequences or boundaries this is just going to become a pattern if it isn't already.

 

I cannot hammer home enough I'm not advocating you stay with him, but I also don't believe you are ever going leave so I'm trying to give you advice then that perhaps could make this work. You need to expose him to everyone and seek counseling [joint and separate]. Also, depending on how things play out, it may be necessary for him to resign. Not because of the affair, although I feel it's a fair consequence, but because I believe now he will be fired behind this and it would better he resign than risk being terminated behind this, career wise.

 

4. He hasn't been totally honest with you from the beginning up until now. You say you know when he's telling the truth, but Bonnie, you don't, not at all, or else you would have never believed his first lie about her being obsessed with him.

 

He's trickle truthing you. If you are unfamiliar with that term it means every so often he's telling you a little bit more of the truth, but the complete truth he has yet to tell and perhaps never will.

 

I also don't believe you can believe anything this other woman has said. She's playing at her own game and has her own motives. He's set her up quite nicely for a lawsuit. Her being a woman, him being in a position of power, quite lovely that. 100 pages? She's already consulted a lawyer and the CEO of the company can smell it. It's why the CEO is even involved.

 

Another thing, when he came home that day and "confessed" to you about being in love with her, he'd already spoken to her about what he was going to do. Make no mistake. You then went and talked to her without his knowledge to see if their stories matched, but he'd already gotten to her.

 

Why do I say that? Because it's textbook affair partner. It's what they do. They always get the story straight with the other affair partner before confessing anything. It's not like he spontaneously confessed to you one night in bed. He went to work, saw her, talked to her, and then came home and told you the story they had decided on.

 

Not only that, but their stories are too matchy matchy. She told you almost word for word the same thing he did except with her obviously shifting the blame a little bit more over to him (I'm guessing after that confrontation she was somewhat afraid of you). Why is that so suspicious though their stories being so similar? This isn't just an emotional affair that lasted a day or a week or a month. This went on for two years. You mean to tell me they both just thought to tell you that oh he touched her hair? It's such a small minute detail and especially over the course of two years it doesn't make sense for them both to include it unless they had already discussed what they would say.

 

5. Has he ever told this woman to stay away from him and his family? Other than the pool incident "because he didn't want you going off". I have not read one single time in this entire thread where he told her (outside also of when he told her when you were standing right there) to stay away from him and his family. He could have easily responded to one of her texts with a simple "please only contact me concerning work matters at work through my work email thank you". He could even change his number if he wanted or block hers so that she would not be able to contact him on his personal cell phone.

 

But he doesn't want her to stay away. He's still infatuated with her, but she wants nothing to do with him essentially and he's doing the bare minimal to placate you because one in the hand is still greater than two in the bush.

 

6. This affair isn't over by a longshot. They may not be communicating, but that doesn't mean he isn't still infatuated with her or still doesn't care about her at all. If in his mind the affair was over and he was truly interested in moving forward with you, he would've found other work before she had the chance to quit and he would've stopped full interaction with her before she quit as well.

 

For her part, I don't think you have to worry much about her because she's pissed to high heaven at your partner as obviously can be seen. Her quitting her job, writing this "letter", and (in my opinion) seeking legal counsel is all because she's pissed. Pissed and she sees a golden opportunity to take advantage of what may prove a lucrative situation financially.

 

Why is she pissed? First probably because he got you pregnant (which is when out of anger she ends things), second when you confront her (she then goes to HR because she's pissed), and third and lastly now because he went to HR.

 

This woman knows full well that she is not the victim she's making herself out to be, but this isn't working out the way she thought or had hoped so now she's making the best of things and taking some people down with her. Other women do this all the time perhaps not in this exact way, but they get pissed and use whatever means they can to hurt the affair partner and his spouse. These are the weapons she has so these are the weapons she's using.

 

I'd be more worried honestly about what's going to happen when she isn't pissed anymore. You see for now things have blown up in both their faces, but what's going to happen once things calm down and the dust settles. They no longer work together so anything they do from here on out there is no one to see them or report to you their actions. If anything, they are more free to have an affair now than ever. Just as you saw her out at the pool, it wouldn't be so hard for them to begin meeting up somewhere.

 

7 and lastly. Mark my words, this woman is preparing for a lawsuit. She has a pretty good case actually what with you assaulting her, her going to HR, only texting your partner the things she has (seeming confused about his behavior). Unless your partner can prove that there is no basis to any of this, his termination will be swift. Honestly, it probably will be irrelevantly because of the amount of information she has produced against him. Prepare for that financially.

 

Personally, I would leave. It's just all too much. He doesn't seem the first bit remorseful or sorry for any of this and even continued to interact with this woman (even if they were small interactions) when he didn't have to. It just proves and reinforces that he values his relationship with her over his relationship with you.

 

But as I'm sure you will, do what you think is best.

[Bonnie27]

Wow,thats some post. I'm only on on ashift break but will reply properly later.

 

I just wanted to ask...My partner overheard theregional manager telling the manager that the woman was sent a letter asking her to reconsider her resignation...isthat normal?

[smackie9]

Of course it is normal....obviously she was a valued employee. This is when they sweeten the offer with a wage increase or bonus.

[Bonnie27]

I've just never seen HR ask anyone to unresign before,especially when theyve been accussed of harassment....also why would they want her there as it only caused problems...it just seems odd?

[smackie9]

Maybe she wasn't the one causing the problems hmmmm?

[Diezel]

I've just never seen HR ask anyone to unresign before,especially when theyve been accussed of harassment....also why would they want her there as it only caused problems...it just seems odd?

 

You are asking ALL OF THE WRONG QUESTIONS.

 

The only RIGHT question you should be asking yourself is: Why am I staying in this marriage?

[Jaaded]

Wow,thats some post. I'm only on on ashift break but will reply properly later.

 

I just wanted to ask...My partner overheard theregional manager telling the manager that the woman was sent a letter asking her to reconsider her resignation...isthat normal?

 

 

Maybe they are asking her back because they realize that your boyfriend is the problem and not her? Perhaps your boyfriend is going to be receiving a pink slip due to harassment/favoritism and she will be taking her job back?

 

Hopefully you have some money saved because I wouldn't be surprised if your BF gets canned soon.....

[ExpatInItaly]

I've just never seen HR ask anyone to unresign before,especially when theyve been accussed of harassment....also why would they want her there as it only caused problems...it just seems odd?

 

Well, gee...why do you think? You're smarter than this, Bonnie. I know you are. You're just still refusing to look at the truth.

 

As someone else said, you're asking the wrong questions to the wrong person.

[Bonnie27]

He's not been told anything about him losing his job thankfully. My friend said they areprobably just scared of hersuing them

[ExpatInItaly]

He's not been told anything about him losing his job thankfully. My friend said they areprobably just scared of hersuing them

 

Does any of that ultimately matter, though?

[April Moon]

I've come across this thread once or twice, but never really bothered to read or comment simply because I know your type. You are the type that knows deep down your spouse is unfaithful but refuses to leave or do anything about it. People have their reasons, I try not to judge, and I move on.

 

But today I came across your thread again astonished not so much that this is still going on, but rather you were still posting about it and read it through and through.

 

Part of me believes you may be a troll, but maybe that's just my hope that someone would not stay in a situation like this after all he's put you through. Part of me believes no matter what I say it will go in one ear and out the other, but nevertheless, I am going to tell you some truths that I believe have yet to be said.

 

1. I've seen many posters talk about how your partner really isn't in love with you he's in love with the other woman etc, but the truth is your partner doesn't know what love is. You don't do these types of things to people you love. Many people equate love with sparks and romance and Disney movies, but that's not love. Love is an action word. Love is loyalty. Love is kindness. Love is honesty.

 

I'm not saying he doesn't care for you, I'm saying he doesn't truly know how to love anyone. I sincerely believe he cares for you, you can't have two children and a history as long as yours and not, but he doesn't love you or this other woman. If he really gave an iota about her he wouldn't have placed her in the situation he has (as being the other woman) and if he truly loved you he would have never even placed himself in a situation to develop feelings for this woman.

 

He's in lust with her pure and simple. She's young and beautiful and different (than you). That's the score of things. She's a fantasy. He's infatuated with her and has mistaken it for love.

 

Whether she loves him or not is irrelevant and I won't even speak upon that.

 

2. She's the one holding all the cards here. I don't think you have ever realized that. It's not you and it's not him, but this third party who has all the control of your lives and of your relationship. She ended things with him when she found out you were pregnant. Maybe out of some sense of decency or maybe out of a sense of betrayal (ie how could you knock her up when you claim to love me?!).

 

It doesn't matter. But the point is your life really depends upon the whims of this woman. I'm sure if she called him tomorrow and told him she'd have him he'd leave you so fast you wouldn't know what happened.

 

I'm sure if she had wanted to things would have become sexual as well. Perhaps they did, really, it doesn't matter at this point either way.

 

3. You are doing everything in your power to minimize this affair. Not telling anyone outside of your one friend (who by the way gives terrible advice), not enforcing any real consequences upon him, and believing whatever lie he's feeding you this week because you don't want to face the truth and reality of what is happening around you.

 

I get that. I really do. You've been with this man for a good chunk of your adult life, have two kids together, love him, and outside of this, you are happy with your life together.

 

But I'm telling you, if there is a shred of any hope of making this work, you need to get your head out of the sand and stop minimizing this affair. Expose him to everyone. Yes, it's going to change the way they view him, but that is his problem not yours. He did this to you and to your kids. He's still doing this to you and your kids and I say your kids because he is likely to lose his source of income behind this fiasco.

 

The point I'm trying to drive home is he does not get to have an affair and get off scot free that's just not how things work. If you don't enforce any types of consequences or boundaries this is just going to become a pattern if it isn't already.

 

I cannot hammer home enough I'm not advocating you stay with him, but I also don't believe you are ever going leave so I'm trying to give you advice then that perhaps could make this work. You need to expose him to everyone and seek counseling [joint and separate]. Also, depending on how things play out, it may be necessary for him to resign. Not because of the affair, although I feel it's a fair consequence, but because I believe now he will be fired behind this and it would better he resign than risk being terminated behind this, career wise.

 

4. He hasn't been totally honest with you from the beginning up until now. You say you know when he's telling the truth, but Bonnie, you don't, not at all, or else you would have never believed his first lie about her being obsessed with him.

 

He's trickle truthing you. If you are unfamiliar with that term it means every so often he's telling you a little bit more of the truth, but the complete truth he has yet to tell and perhaps never will.

 

I also don't believe you can believe anything this other woman has said. She's playing at her own game and has her own motives. He's set her up quite nicely for a lawsuit. Her being a woman, him being in a position of power, quite lovely that. 100 pages? She's already consulted a lawyer and the CEO of the company can smell it. It's why the CEO is even involved.

 

Another thing, when he came home that day and "confessed" to you about being in love with her, he'd already spoken to her about what he was going to do. Make no mistake. You then went and talked to her without his knowledge to see if their stories matched, but he'd already gotten to her.

 

Why do I say that? Because it's textbook affair partner. It's what they do. They always get the story straight with the other affair partner before confessing anything. It's not like he spontaneously confessed to you one night in bed. He went to work, saw her, talked to her, and then came home and told you the story they had decided on.

 

Not only that, but their stories are too matchy matchy. She told you almost word for word the same thing he did except with her obviously shifting the blame a little bit more over to him (I'm guessing after that confrontation she was somewhat afraid of you). Why is that so suspicious though their stories being so similar? This isn't just an emotional affair that lasted a day or a week or a month. This went on for two years. You mean to tell me they both just thought to tell you that oh he touched her hair? It's such a small minute detail and especially over the course of two years it doesn't make sense for them both to include it unless they had already discussed what they would say.

 

5. Has he ever told this woman to stay away from him and his family? Other than the pool incident "because he didn't want you going off". I have not read one single time in this entire thread where he told her (outside also of when he told her when you were standing right there) to stay away from him and his family. He could have easily responded to one of her texts with a simple "please only contact me concerning work matters at work through my work email thank you". He could even change his number if he wanted or block hers so that she would not be able to contact him on his personal cell phone.

 

But he doesn't want her to stay away. He's still infatuated with her, but she wants nothing to do with him essentially and he's doing the bare minimal to placate you because one in the hand is still greater than two in the bush.

 

6. This affair isn't over by a longshot. They may not be communicating, but that doesn't mean he isn't still infatuated with her or still doesn't care about her at all. If in his mind the affair was over and he was truly interested in moving forward with you, he would've found other work before she had the chance to quit and he would've stopped full interaction with her before she quit as well.

 

For her part, I don't think you have to worry much about her because she's pissed to high heaven at your partner as obviously can be seen. Her quitting her job, writing this "letter", and (in my opinion) seeking legal counsel is all because she's pissed. Pissed and she sees a golden opportunity to take advantage of what may prove a lucrative situation financially.

 

Why is she pissed? First probably because he got you pregnant (which is when out of anger she ends things), second when you confront her (she then goes to HR because she's pissed), and third and lastly now because he went to HR.

 

This woman knows full well that she is not the victim she's making herself out to be, but this isn't working out the way she thought or had hoped so now she's making the best of things and taking some people down with her. Other women do this all the time perhaps not in this exact way, but they get pissed and use whatever means they can to hurt the affair partner and his spouse. These are the weapons she has so these are the weapons she's using.

 

I'd be more worried honestly about what's going to happen when she isn't pissed anymore. You see for now things have blown up in both their faces, but what's going to happen once things calm down and the dust settles. They no longer work together so anything they do from here on out there is no one to see them or report to you their actions. If anything, they are more free to have an affair now than ever. Just as you saw her out at the pool, it wouldn't be so hard for them to begin meeting up somewhere.

 

7 and lastly. Mark my words, this woman is preparing for a lawsuit. She has a pretty good case actually what with you assaulting her, her going to HR, only texting your partner the things she has (seeming confused about his behavior). Unless your partner can prove that there is no basis to any of this, his termination will be swift. Honestly, it probably will be irrelevantly because of the amount of information she has produced against him. Prepare for that financially.

 

Personally, I would leave. It's just all too much. He doesn't seem the first bit remorseful or sorry for any of this and even continued to interact with this woman (even if they were small interactions) when he didn't have to. It just proves and reinforces that he values his relationship with her over his relationship with you.

 

But as I'm sure you will, do what you think is best.

 

A powerful post that needs to be read multiple times by Bonnie. Bonnie please read the second point again. This woman has the ability to run your life if you let her.

[No Limit]

Bonnie, your kids need at least 1 stable person they trust and that looks out for them in their lives. It's not going to be your boyfriend/husband/cheater, and since you are so willing to follow him into a financially devastating situation I honestly wonder if you are even able to be the stable person.

 

You must make choices very soon, or else you and your kids will be at the OWs mercy; probably the most humiliating situation a betrayed wife could ever find herself in, next to the finance stuff.

 

Why aren't you finally taking the reins? Why are you hiding behind a partner that could honestly care less about his family?

[Bonnie27]

Hello

 

Honestly...because I so desperately want to turn the clock back and have my life and our life put back together. He assures me its me he loves and he hates her for this. He's a wonderful dad, he's taken them both to a play area right now and if he's not out with them or at work he's here. I don't want to lose our family

 

The investigation began this week. The woman refused to resind her resignation and won't be coming back. My partner and a few other people mentioned in her packet were interviewed. He says he doesn't know whats going to happen next but looking at policy if there is potential it is misconduct then they can suspend with pay

 

We haven't been given any examples of what misconduct in this situation means.

 

Apparently her packet said he'd get changed in front of her and my friend said even though in the facility changing is reasonable that could be construed as above?

[April Moon]

Bonnie, you have already lost your family. There is a reason that he still has not married you. There is a reason he had an affair. He doesn't love you. I'm so sorry Bonnie. We can all see it and want better for you.