Bonnie27 Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 preraph I really hope your post is true. He admitted she hadn't spoken to him in 6 weeks prior to her asking for change last week, she's just been sitting reading her book in the cafe. Although I'd love for him to be the victim in this, there is written proof of her saying for him to stay away from her on 3 separate occassions so...I don't know I'm glad she's gone though Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 (edited) Don't you think it says anything that the manager took his side and she's now resigned? No, not at all. Your boyfriend is known to be a good manipulator and liar. I have no doubt he could spin this story to his manager. He had you thinking this girl was obsessed with him. That wasn't the truth either. He is still a douche. Edited October 11, 2014 by ExpatInItaly 3 Link to post Share on other sites
blackgnat Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 OMG this is the SAME chick who had a thread on here for a long time, as herself, then posing as the "wronged woman". It HAS to be her! All the red flags are the same! Link to post Share on other sites
Jaaded Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 You better get ready because a sexual harassment/discrimination lawsuit is heading his way. She already set everything in motion..... Link to post Share on other sites
Bonnie27 Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 Jaaded, I am feeling very much like your name...How could she have a lawsuit if the majority is his word against hers? Expat - wouldn't you fight it if it wasn't true and want to defend yourself rather than resign? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 (edited) Jaaded, I am feeling very much like your name...How could she have a lawsuit if the majority is his word against hers? Expat - wouldn't you fight it if it wasn't true and want to defend yourself rather than resign? Not if I had a better job offer somewhere else, and a good lawyer helping me build a case against him, no. A similar situation happened in my workplace years ago. The woman resigned because she couldn't handle being made to feel harassed and manipulated by the man (also in management) anymore. After she'd left our company, she brought a case against him. Edited October 12, 2014 by ExpatInItaly Link to post Share on other sites
Bonnie27 Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 What happened? In the letter she said she was defending herself in the documents to head office as it was pointless speaking with management there. That she had no job to go to but it was better than feeling victimized there and that she had no idea where this came from as there had been no issues with him since July Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 Bonnie - be ready - it looks like your guy is about to get fired. He's been inappropriate. He hasn't been able to fix that, and now the company is being sued because of the way he has participated. I think they will let him go. Be ready! Do you work? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 Even if she does do a lawsuit, it won't be against the husband. It will be against the employer, so yes he might have to testify, but that's about all that could happen. And if he should lose his job over it, maybe he'll think twice next time about being too flirtatious in the workplace. Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 Oh, this thread is still going on? Fantastic, people never learn. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 What happened? In the letter she said she was defending herself in the documents to head office as it was pointless speaking with management there. That she had no job to go to but it was better than feeling victimized there and that she had no idea where this came from as there had been no issues with him since July This is not a good sign, Bonnie. She's prepared to take it above management. If I were you, I'd prepare myself to hear more details about their affair than you ever knew. I'm sure there's much more to it. In any case, you're still not focusing on the source of the problem. You're still shifting your attention away from the real cause of your pain and grasping on to any little hope that your boyfriend is the person you once knew. In the case of my former workplace, all I know is that the man eventually resigned. He opted for this instead of being formally terminated. I don't know the details beyond this, as I left before everything was settled. I also remember that his wife sounded a lot like you, not wanting to believe half of what she heard. (She was a friend of my aunt's) The truth is that the woman who brought the case against him was not the only one he'd been inappropriate with. There had been a couple other flings, but those women were consenting and didn't pursue legal action. It was not exactly a secret that he was a philanderer. Link to post Share on other sites
Bonnie27 Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 You really think she's going to sue him? Surely she doesn't come out of this unscathed though? A friend said similar earlier...that I could wake up six months from now and realise there are problems still there and her disappearing from our lives could just make those problems even more obvious...or he could wake up and realise he misses her. My friend sort of turned on me, I was shocked. She said she didn't think he believed she was harassing him as he would have done this months ago if he did and things like not telling the manager about the text asking to be treated like everyone else when he had the option and didn't. She suggested that he still feels the same way about her, but his cowardice is also blaming her for every issue he has and getting her out of the way makes life easy for him again Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 You really think she's going to sue him? Surely she doesn't come out of this unscathed though? A friend said similar earlier...that I could wake up six months from now and realise there are problems still there and her disappearing from our lives could just make those problems even more obvious...or he could wake up and realise he misses her. My friend sort of turned on me, I was shocked. She said she didn't think he believed she was harassing him as he would have done this months ago if he did and things like not telling the manager about the text asking to be treated like everyone else when he had the option and didn't. She suggested that he still feels the same way about her, but his cowardice is also blaming her for every issue he has and getting her out of the way makes life easy for him again Bonnie, why is this shocking to you? It's the same thing everyone here has been repeating for several months. In all likelihood, your friend has been treating you with kid gloves and trying to be kind because she doesn't want to see you hurting, but has gotten fed up with your inability to see reality. It does you no good to try to justify/defend his behaviour. The way he's treated you and spit on your relationship is disgusting. I don't think anyone turned on you. I think you're just surprised to hear someone in your real life tell it like it is. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 Do you really think that, even if they are avoiding one another, and locking eyes occassionally, that's strengthening the bond? I don't know about strenghtening their bond but it is definitely building their desire for one another. I don't know how you can stay with a man who is in love with another woman. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 You really think she's going to sue him? Surely she doesn't come out of this unscathed though? A friend said similar earlier...that I could wake up six months from now and realise there are problems still there and her disappearing from our lives could just make those problems even more obvious...or he could wake up and realise he misses her. My friend sort of turned on me, I was shocked. She said she didn't think he believed she was harassing him as he would have done this months ago if he did and things like not telling the manager about the text asking to be treated like everyone else when he had the option and didn't. She suggested that he still feels the same way about her, but his cowardice is also blaming her for every issue he has and getting her out of the way makes life easy for him again I don't believe she turned on you. I think she was telling you what you didn't want to hear and while loyalty is hoped for, honesty does you more good in this situation. Plus, we've been telling you that same thing she has. I hope this woman goes after him. I think he slinked away from this with zero repercussions. I think you are focusing on the wrong issue -- the woman isn't your problem -- she was just an accomplice to this but the real culprit -- your boyfriend will most likely celebrate the fact that he walked away scott free and possibly behave inappropriately again. You teach people how to treat you. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 For some reason I don't believe your bf. I think she is gone but all the other stuff is a lie. I bet they are going to start a full blown affair now that she's gone. Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 My friend sort of turned on me, I was shocked. She said she didn't think he believed she was harassing him as he would have done this months ago if he did and things like not telling the manager about the text asking to be treated like everyone else when he had the option and didn't. She suggested that he still feels the same way about her, but his cowardice is also blaming her for every issue he has and getting her out of the way makes life easy for him again Your friend "sort of turned on you"? Hahahahahaahahahahahhaahahahaha, THIS IS HILARIOUS. In my world "sort of turning on you" = "Being honest and being right" if it's in that context. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 For some reason I don't believe your bf. I think she is gone but all the other stuff is a lie. I bet they are going to start a full blown affair now that she's gone. Was just coming back to post this. Nobody's around to report on their flirtations now. Nobody to tell them to knock it off. Out of curiosity, have you ever considered posting in the Infidelity forum, Bonnie? The folks over there could probably offer a lot more knowledge from first-hand experiences in these situations. You might find their insight helpful. Link to post Share on other sites
Bonnie27 Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 I did initially, Expat, but it was moved here Stillafool - he showed me a pict of her resignation letter Yesterday the packet arrived at head office apparently. They still don't know whats in it, but my partner has had to make a statement about how she harassed him. He has said she drives past our house a few times a week and we are not near their place of work and he has seen her following him home to see where he lived. The manager asked him if he was aware of any reason she may have for this and he said no, but he has told me her sister lives nearby. He also said she texts him and he doesn't respond and has tried to ignore her since January. The manager although on his side apparently pointed out he spoke to her regarding the work issue after 5 months of no contact and he said he felt like it was his duty to sort that issue as he was responsible for it We should know in the next few days what was in the packet Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 Had he told you before now that she would drive by your house? Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 Had he told you before now that she would drive by your house? And why hasn't your husband resigned? He has caused a ton of harm to that company. He should leave so they can have some peace of mind knowing he's out of there. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 I did initially, Expat, but it was moved here Stillafool - he showed me a pict of her resignation letter Yesterday the packet arrived at head office apparently. They still don't know whats in it, but my partner has had to make a statement about how she harassed him. He has said she drives past our house a few times a week and we are not near their place of work and he has seen her following him home to see where he lived. The manager asked him if he was aware of any reason she may have for this and he said no, but he has told me her sister lives nearby. He also said she texts him and he doesn't respond and has tried to ignore her since January. The manager although on his side apparently pointed out he spoke to her regarding the work issue after 5 months of no contact and he said he felt like it was his duty to sort that issue as he was responsible for it We should know in the next few days what was in the packet Kind of like him declaring she was obsessed with him? That was a load of BS, wasn't it? He's so full of crap and you are smarter than that, I hope. This is about to blow up. Has has never mentioned her driving by past your house? Has he shown you texts that he didn't respond to? He hasn't tried to ignore her since January. You yourself said that in this thread - they were (by his admission) in email contact regarding work references. If she has copies of those emails, and I would imagine she does, he is also going to be proven as a liar to his employer. I think he is getting in way over his head and is likely going to find himself in a heck of a lot more trouble for giving inaccurate/false statements. He's definitely not a very bright individual, is he? Why do you allow him to embarass you? Prepare for him to be exposed in ways you never imagined. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Keke1 Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 Kind of like him declaring she was obsessed with him? That was a load of BS, wasn't it? He's so full of crap and you are smarter than that, I hope. This is about to blow up. Has has never mentioned her driving by past your house? Has he shown you texts that he didn't respond to? He hasn't tried to ignore her since January. You yourself said that in this thread - they were (by his admission) in email contact regarding work references. If she has copies of those emails, and I would imagine she does, he is also going to be proven as a liar to his employer. I think he is getting in way over his head and is likely going to find himself in a heck of a lot more trouble for giving inaccurate/false statements. He's definitely not a very bright individual, is he? Why do you allow him to embarass you? Prepare for him to be exposed in ways you never imagined. This story has gotten so ridiculous it's unbelievable to me. I just lol at it Link to post Share on other sites
Bonnie27 Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 2sunny, he needs the job. He would struggle to get another of the same wage. Also yes he did tell me about driving past before Expat - he did show me the texts a few months ago. She says in her letter that he would call her in reply My friend said I should give this woman more credit as she would have to be insane to send a packet to head office with nothing to say. Apparently there is nearly 100 pages Keke, if youfeel that way then don't post. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 2sunny, he needs the job. He would struggle to get another of the same wage. Also yes he did tell me about driving past before Expat - he did show me the texts a few months ago. She says in her letter that he would call her in reply My friend said I should give this woman more credit as she would have to be insane to send a packet to head office with nothing to say. Apparently there is nearly 100 pages Keke, if youfeel that way then don't post. I strongly agree with your friend. It sounds like something a lawyer helped put together. I think your world is about to be turned upside down again! Link to post Share on other sites
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