She May Not Go On The Trip. What Can Happen ?

[george roy]

Hi all,

 

The short version:

 

STBX was served in December.

 

She has agreed to move out. And since the filing, she has amassed a ton of used furniture that is sitting in the shed (that shed is on the marital property).

 

House is in my name only, but it was purchased during the marriage.

 

As far as the contents of the house, I've been somewhat lax on some of that stuff, especially when it comes to family heirlooms. AKA I haven't been a < male genitalia > (as my getting new stuff when she's out will help me with the transition).

 

We have an extended family vacation that has been planned for almost a year. And that vacation happens this week.

Plenty of family from both sides will be where we're going. So it's not as though she'd be exclusively with 'my' family.

At one point when she was first served, she said something about not going on the trip, and suggested that I take them. She rethought that, and the next day decided to go 'for the kids'.

 

She has yet to pack any of her bags for the trip.

 

Gone since Thursday, she could very well show back up today, fill a suitcase with clothes, and get on the plane as scheduled.

 

I've already moved any significant paperwork off-site and to a secret and secure location.

 

In the event that she does decide to pull an 11th hour, "I'm not going", I'm not leaving crucial paperwork laying around for her to find at her leisure while we're gone.

 

I have every intention of taking the children on this trip.

 

And if she does choose to stay home, I don't know if the kids and I would come home from vacation to an empty house.

 

So how can I protect myself in that regard ??

 

Or a better question may be, what is my recourse is she DOES pull a move like that ??

 

Any input, suggestions, or advice is greatly appreciated...

[No Limit]

Do you have any trustworthy friends that could sleep over and watch over your stuff? Someone who you could let live in there for the time you're gone?

If you can, be sure to leave them some kind of note with your signature just in case your STBX tries something funny and attempts to call the police over a break-in or whatever.

 

Enjoy your vacation. I wonder what her part of the family is going to say to you; unless they don't know of her affair, that is.

[Art_Critic]

I'll tell you what I wouldn't do, leave her there to clear out the house..

 

If she doesn't go then honestly I'd stay home if I were you.. protect what you have.

The drama that might unfold if you left and she didn't go wouldn't be worth it.

[aliveagain]

Change the locks, install a monitored security alarm that calls the police when there is an unauthorized entry, or as already suggested have a house sitter with instructions not to let your soon to be ex in.

[george roy]

Do you have any trustworthy friends that could sleep over and watch over your stuff? Someone who you could let live in there for the time you're gone?

If you can, be sure to leave them some kind of note with your signature just in case your STBX tries something funny and attempts to call the police over a break-in or whatever.

 

Enjoy your vacation. I wonder what her part of the family is going to say to you; unless they don't know of her affair, that is.

 

While I don't have someone that could sleep over (most of the family is going on this trip), I do have a good friend coming over for the mail and the pets.

 

Supposedly, her parents know everything. And the ex's big argument was that her parents "don't know I served her". Not that "we're getting a divorce".

 

Odd choice of words, but the STBXW has proven herself to be odd.

 

The question is, what's "everything" when it comes to the ex ?

 

And has she really told them ?

 

I guess if she hasn't, then she has until the plane lands to fess up to that.

[george roy]

I'll tell you what I wouldn't do, leave her there to clear out the house..

 

If she doesn't go then honestly I'd stay home if I were you.. protect what you have.

The drama that might unfold if you left and she didn't go wouldn't be worth it.

 

While it's not about money, there are enough significant activities already paid for.

 

Add in that the kids are really looking forward to this trip. The last thing I want to do, regardless of STBXW, is disappoint them.

 

And anything that I really 'want' has already been moved off-site, anyway. Everything else is just 'furniture'. And replaceable.

 

So it would just be coming back to needing to 'refill' the house.

 

What sort of drama are you thinking might unfold if she didn't go ?

[george roy]

Change the locks, install a monitored security alarm that calls the police when there is an unauthorized entry, or as already suggested have a house sitter with instructions not to let your soon to be ex in.

 

It's too close to the departure date that there's no way a security system could be installed.

 

I can change the locks if needed, but all STBXW has to do is call a locksmith and show them her license to gain access.

 

After that, who knows what I'd come home to.

[george roy]

I forgot to mention that she did show up here today, and she does have a good portion of her bag packed.

 

And as of this writing, she's out and about again.

 

Could be that she's legitimately going, or it could be a red herring.

 

But I won't be convinced until the plane is in the air. With her on it.

 

I'll be walking around the house with a video camera shortly.

[No Limit]

Should you have any items of higher value, be sure to take them with you.

And even if she does fly, she could have given her key to her lover buddy who can also come to clear it out.

 

Boy, it's like we're writing about you knowing that there's a thief coming the next few days to check your houses' security.

 

...Do you know anyone that could lend you a pitbull for a few days?

[george roy]

Should you have any items of higher value, be sure to take them with you.

And even if she does fly, she could have given her key to her lover buddy who can also come to clear it out.

 

Boy, it's like we're writing about you knowing that there's a thief coming the next few days to check your houses' security.

 

...Do you know anyone that could lend you a pitbull for a few days?

 

This is what I was thinking, too.

 

Right now I have no idea who has a key.

 

That's why I'm changing the deadbolt the day of departure.

 

And the friend that's coming to get the mail and feed the pets already has that key.

[aliveagain]

It's too close to the departure date that there's no way a security system could be installed.

 

I can change the locks if needed, but all STBXW has to do is call a locksmith and show them her license to gain access.

 

After that, who knows what I'd come home to.

 

All you have to do is put up a warning on your doors that there is a monitored alarm, that's usually enough of a deterrent. You can go to most building centres and buy just a door alarm that will make enough noise to scare someone off. They are cheap and battery operated, she will probably believe it is monitored and leave before security or the police shows up.

[Yasuandio]

All you have to do is put up a warning on your doors that there is a monitored alarm, that's usually enough of a deterrent. You can go to most building centres and buy just a door alarm that will make enough noise to scare someone off. They are cheap and battery operated, she will probably believe it is monitored and leave before security or the police shows up.

 

You can get them at Home Depot. There are a couple types. And they are LOUD as all get out! No kidding! They cut off with a key, and you better have it handy, or you're gonna have a massive headache. Just like AliveAgain described.

 

There is another kind that may make a perp nervous too that is very cheap. I would rig it outside. It makes a beeping sound when something moves. I have two installed behind some high bushes - in case someone gets behind there to try to open windows. If a cat walks by - the beeping starts. No big deal. But if I was approaching your property and heard that - I would, like, get the heck outta there.

 

Another idea is to alert the local police and they will keep an eye on your home during rounds for one week as a curtesy.

 

Anything with an LED light that you can see from the door way is useful, if disguised. But this kind of thing should have been thought of way in advance, really. A couple phoney cams can fool people. Or a sign that states hidden cameras are on interior and exterior of building. Do not truspass sign. Maybe call local police for advice also. They may have the best ideas of all!

 

I love my Comcast security system. Cameras outside, and inside, tablet display with everything, thermostat, lights, video cam images, you name it. Access from you cell from china if you want. Best thing I ever invested in. I can see the doggies in the back yard - and I know when their coming to the

door. We are totally systemized. That won't help you now, but maybe in the future.

Edited February 16, 2014 by Yasuandio

[george roy]

You can get them at Home Depot. There are a couple types. And they are LOUD as all get out! No kidding! They cut off with a key, and you better have it handy, or you're gonna have a massive headache. Just like AliveAgain described.

 

There is another kind that may make a perp nervous too that is very cheap. I would rig it outside. It makes a beeping sound when something moves. I have two installed behind some high bushes - in case someone gets behind there to try to open windows. If a cat walks by - the beeping starts. No big deal. But if I was approaching your property and heard that - I would, like, get the heck outta there.

 

Another idea is to alert the local police and they will keep an eye on your home during rounds for one week as a curtesy.

 

Anything with an LED light that you can see from the door way is useful, if disguised. But this kind of thing should have been thought of way in advance, really. A couple phoney cams can fool people. Or a sign that states hidden cameras are on interior and exterior of building. Do not truspass sign. Maybe call local police for advice also. They may have the best ideas of all!

 

I love my Comcast security system. Cameras outside, and inside, tablet display with everything, thermostat, lights, video cam images, you name it. Access from you cell from china if you want. Best thing I ever invested in. I can see the doggies in the back yard - and I know when their coming to the

door. We are totally systemized. That won't help you now, but maybe in the future.

 

I called the local PD, and told them I would be out of town from ____ to ____.

 

And that, while I already had someone to come take care of the dogs and the mail, I was hoping that a unit could stop and check on things while we were gone.

 

They were more than happy to oblige.

 

At the moment, I have stickers on the windows that indicate an alarm is present. Enough of a deterrent that anyone looking to gain access will not take the chance.

 

The STBXW is aware that they are only stickers. But if she has a notion that Mr Wonderful will be stopping by to pick some things up, he'll run into the double deadbolts that the STBXW's key doesn't work in.

 

Anyway, there are motion sensors on all sides of the house, too. Great for when I get home late. A couple of 90 watt PAR lamps light things up quite nicely.

 

An actual security system is now at the top of my list.

 

Especially once STBXW is out the door.

[george roy]

Well, gang...

 

She ended up making it on the plane. And we're at the destination.

 

And the deadbolt has been changed by my neighbor.

 

Don't know who knows what down here, but things seem to be going 'ok' so far.

 

A little bit of drama here and there, but nothing remarkable.

 

I'll keep you guys posted...