Do you have to be thankful for something if it was taken away from you?

[somedude81]

somedude, I just think overall, there is a huge difference between what you WANT and what you NEED. Ever wonder if G_d is working to tell you this?

 

That you keep asking for advice on how to get a girlfriend and all these well-intentioned people tell you to work on the rest of your life first--advice that you hate, we get--might be a sign.

I'm actually not asking for advice here.

 

I'm trying to see if this is all God's plan for me.

 

Right now it's looking this God is testing me. And I'm failing.

[pie2]

I'm actually not asking for advice here.

 

I'm trying to see if this is all God's plan for me.

 

Right now it's looking this God is testing me. And I'm failing.

 

 

So, given what you know about God and Christ, what do you think it takes to "win" in the tests we're given by God? How would you define success, as a follower of Christ?

 

 

In my own life, success always involves leaning on God more when times are tough. Success involves using Christ's example as a guide in how to confront trials. And success involves growing in love, humility, patience and the rest of the fruits of the spirit. But trust me, I'm not always successful when I'm tested! Just an example of what I work towards.

[quankanne]

the only real failure is to not take something away from the experience, because "failure" is often a better teacher than success is.

 

maybe it's time to re-evaluate what you consider success; maybe those parameters aren't really applicable to what you're experiencing and they need to be adjusted?

 

worth thinking about!

[somedude81]

So, given what you know about God and Christ, what do you think it takes to "win" in the tests we're given by God? How would you define success, as a follower of Christ?

 

 

In my own life, success always involves leaning on God more when times are tough. Success involves using Christ's example as a guide in how to confront trials. And success involves growing in love, humility, patience and the rest of the fruits of the spirit. But trust me, I'm not always successful when I'm tested! Just an example of what I work towards.

Leaning on God more?

 

Absolutely not.

 

I have the impression that I can't count on God for anything, and he can take away anything good about your life on a whim.

[pie2]

Leaning on God more?

 

Absolutely not.

 

I have the impression that I can't count on God for anything, and he can take away anything good about your life on a whim.

 

 

So how would you define successfully going through a rough patch in life?

 

 

On a different note, I read this funny thing that highlights the inconsistencies in logic of not going to church :

 

 

10 Reasons Not to Bathe

 

 

1. I was forced to as a child.

2. People who make soap are only after your

money.

3. I bathe on special occasions like Christmas

and Easter.

4. People who bathe are hypocrites - they think

they're cleaner than everyone else.

5. There are so many different kinds of soap, I

can't decide which one is best.

6. I used to bathe. It got boring though, so I

stopped.

7. None of my friends bathe.

8. The bathroom is never warm enough in the

winter, or cool enough in the summer.

9. I'll start bathing when I get older and dirtier.

10. I cant spare the time.

Edited February 17, 2014 by pie2

[pureinheart]

I was going to edit my post.

 

Now that I've been single for two months without her, I realize that she would have been a very good wife. If we had stayed together we could have gotten married in 3-5 years. She would be 24-26 and I would be 35-37.

 

I used to believe that it would be a bad idea to marry my first girlfriend, but with the kind of woman she is, it wouldn't have been a poor idea at all.

 

And I keep going back to God. What does he want for and from me?

 

This statement is beyond profound and thought provoking- simple wording, yet so very deep.

 

Well, you answered my dilemma, that's for sure. Can't say that this is your answer, but I didn't put God first. Many times thought I had, but my heart wasn't right (and rarely ever is).

 

What does He want from me- to love Him first. What does he want for me? I don't know, but if I could love Him with all of my heart, mind and soul, all of the rest comes according to His will.

 

You know, I don't think long-term planning is bad, although many times the SO may not be on the same page. They may give the impression that they are, but experience has shown me that some of the "plans" "we" had were very different.

 

Did she share her desires for the future with you? It's weird that she dropped off the face of the earth- apologies if you said this previously, although if you don't mind me asking, did she talk with you are did she just vanish?

[TaraMaiden]

Having been a practising Roman catholic for over 40 years, I didn't then, and still now, don't understand why people insist on placing every aspect of their lives in 'God's hands' and expecting him to do the hard work.

 

God apparently gave 'mankind' free will.

Therefore, you wake up in the morning, and everything from that moment on, is a choice;

Everything you did, in interaction with your ex- - was your choice.

It seems you either didn't communicate that aspect terribly well, or she made the choice that this relationship wasn't what she wanted.

 

Either way, I really think it's rather insutling of you to place all this in God's lap as being his fault she left - ie, that he took her away from you.

Man up.

This was a purely human interraction: Something within your relationship failed, and it was an entirely human-borne consequence.

Blaming God is one thing, when it comes to natural disasters such as floods, earthquakes, tsunamis and droughts (he's a big boy, he can take it) but to diss him and blame him for screwing up your own relationship is a bit rich, and frankly, I can't help thinking he has more important things to do, with your time, than pander to your emotional insecurities....

 

be the person he created you to be.

Not some vexatious litigant who decided to off-load and project outwards, when the responsibility is all within you.

 

Sorry, but I just thought I'd play God's PA.

Or Devil's advocate, take your pick.........

[truthbetold]

I think Final Word explained it well. God didn't give her to you, he allowed your free will to lead. He "allowed" it but that's different than having it with God's blessing. As other's pointed out, you weren't equally yoked.

 

I understand all too well in wanting to captain my own ship by my own rules. What I learned is God will let us make a mess of our lives if that's what we choose, but if you call out to him, he will always be there to pick you up.

 

You're angry with God, and it comes across. I understand that too, as I used to consider myself similar to having Moses' outlook. I didn't ask to be here and at times I'd shake my fist and ask why? That's bad by the way. Moses and his disobedience to God did not allow him into the promised land even though he went to heaven God was upset with his disobedience. So I learned and am learning on patience.

 

My exH was abusive. That was my free will choice to marry him. He was not equally yoked and barely attended mass with me. Still I thought it was love etc...I had a hard time leaving at first because we were married and I thought divorce was unacceptable. We had a son, I thought it wasn't possible to have an annulment or to have one would nullify my son. But I learned of my ignorance in the faith. Because we were never equally yoked it wasn't a marriage blessed by God. I never consulted God. I just steamrolled with my agenda and imposing my will. However even out of destruction, God can raise up great things and work all things to his glory. Case in point my wonderful son.

 

I proceeded to date men who were one disaster after another. But how could I attract someone healthy when I myself were a mess? I didn't think I would ever necessarily marry again as I didn't fully trust but I thought I would still like that companionship. Then eventually I did become more wanting, in hoping that there was that "someone out there for me". Still I wasn't really consulting God's will, just praying "God do something" then proceeding to make my own disastrous decisions. Nearly lost my house because of some dumb financial moves, but God brought me a wonderful neighbor who helped with a loan, but also to watch my son for a time when much needed. I learned that God does indeed provide if you rely on him. But I still wasn't relying fully.

 

See I still believed the "God helps those that help themselves". Meaning God will give you the gift/tools and then it's up to us to use them. Well that's not scriptural at all. Instead it's "Commit your ways to the Lord and HE shall direct your paths" Not give you a road map and say figure it out but DIRECT. I had also heard from my priest to "seek first the kingdom" hmmm interesting, but how?

 

Well I suffered a loss. My dad died. I decided to swear off dating until I could get myself healthy. my best gf and I went to see The Passion of the Christ" and it changed everything. Even she who is Lutheran was moved. I left there thinking we are a selfish, selfish people and what was God's plan? I did the Purpose Driven book study and learned more. It wasn't until I followed the "be still and listen for I am your God" that I had an epiphany to change careers to something that would answer "what have you done for my people?" Because that question is burned on my heart.

 

I became happy I said on these forums on my "own" but that's not the whole truth. I became happy because God filled me. I loved Jesus with all my heart and soul, I put him first. I became healthy on my own and for the first time I was filled that if it wasn't meant for me to marry again I was okay with it. I had a purpose and was living it finally.

 

During a down time in my studies, I went online. I was struck by my now husband's profile that spoke of God's artwork. I messaged him on what an awesome perspective thinking nothing would come of it. Because he lived several states away and had a 50 mile limit to meet people. But I wanted to wish him well and tell him I appreciated what he wrote. Well he wrote back and it took off from there. We met 6 weeks later were engaged shortly after that and married all within 6mos! ALL ALONG THE WAY. I consulted God if this isn't the right thing to take it away, I only wanted God's will. You wouldn't believe how many mountains he was able to move to clear the path. One case in point, he had a house to sell and there were 3 others on his street that weren't moving in months and months. His sold in about 2 months! There's other things too, but you get the gist.

 

We have been married a little over 8 years and it's better than I imagined love and marriage could be. And of course life has it's trials and the ups and downs But we grow and bond so deeply because Christ is at the center. When you love God FIRST with all you heart and soul then he gives it back in an unimaginable multitude for I love my husband and am in love with him and he with me with such passion but it's deeper than just feelings. It's actions and the security of knowing that person has your back no matter what because God is at the focus. But I love all others as Jesus commands. And the love multiplies and increases.

 

The only way I can come close to explaining it, is what I thought was love is like a black and white one dimensional picture that's motionless.But God's love for us and then what we give to each other is so vibrant and rich and ALIVE! THAT is what God wishes for us. To experience all that beauty of God's love.

 

Right now although not a romantic loss, I am going through a job loss. Not just any job. I had a horrible job for over 2 years. When I gave the wheel back to Jesus I was brought into a more awesome job than I could have imagined. For the 1st time in my life I had joy not just in life, but for work! I didn't even realize a job like this existed. I lost it because of a corporate buyout. Now yes, God knew it was going to happen. He allowed it and for me to experience it. But it was human will on the corporation's greed side that caused it. But I make no mistake that God will bring great glory from it.

 

Me, I am learning even more on my walk with God. For one thing I thought it was cool, to use language like a sailor. I thought eh, it's just words. But we're commanded to not use filthy language. And since I've stopped, my life is filled with even more peace! I don't get as easily irritated. I am learning that God's love and the suffering on the cross are deeply linked. That love and suffering are intertwined. So I went back to Corinthians love is...and read each one while picturing Christ on the cross and I am coming to a deeper understanding of that. But it's hard to put into words. I think it's just something we need to meditate on. Anyway I've had a couple interviews but I need to discern is this a distraction, or will it bring me closer to God? The closer you get with God the better you get at discerning with the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

 

Bottom line. God knows YOUR heart. He created it. He knows what makes you tick. First, love God with all your heart and soul. That will teach you how to truly love others and then that special person you want in your life. Then "seek first the kingdom" think about what that means for your part. Work on building up the kingdom on earth. Because when you do that "all else will be added to you". Things like a mate, job, house, money. God knows you need them all, but you must "seek first the kingdom" that is key my friend.

 

It's all your free will choice at this point. Either you can sit and be sorry for yourself and angry with God which will get you no where. Or you can follow Christ's lead in carrying your cross. (by the way yes, he loves you so much that he is inspiring you to seek out these answers to love your cross and be awed at what Jesus did for us) that you will find the fulfillment.

 

There are posters here who think Jesus did his work and he's done. As if he's up in heaven sipping pina coladas because hey, it's our life to mess up or not he gave us the tools. But that's not scripture. And that doesn't mean he's going to send you to Ethiopia to live in a tent (unless that's truly your heart's desire, there's nothing wrong with it but if that's not who YOUR made to be there's no need to fear that) He knows YOUR heart. He made you and knitted you while in your mother's womb. You think this girl was the best you will find? I ask you to take it to the cross and see what GOD has in store for you. I bet it will be better than you could have imagined. But if you keep imposing your will on your life, careful. God may just let you have what you are asking for, but if it's not God's will it will not ever get you that happiness and joy that you seek.

 

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

 

 

 

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

[pureinheart]

Though we may not understand everything that goes on in our lives, especially when others are involved, but hoping this will encourage you in some way.

 

This morning it was brought to mind a refrigerator I was trying to sell. It just wouldn't sell. It's in good shape and half the price of those in not as good shape. Refers are a hot item here and sell fast.

 

Completely confused by this I said whatever and gave up. Two weeks later my daughter through many circumstances decided it was time to roll from her current residence. She needs a refer and is strapped for cash as moving is expensive and she had to go into a bit of debt to get needed items…lol I have a refer:D

 

We just don't know what lies ahead and know this is a rather minor issue, but I watch stuff like this and see how everything has always worked for the good.

[pureinheart]

Well I suffered a loss. My dad died. I decided to swear off dating until I could get myself healthy. my best gf and I went to see The Passion of the Christ" and it changed everything. Even she who is Lutheran was moved. I left there thinking we are a selfish, selfish people and what was God's plan? I did the Purpose Driven book study and learned more. It wasn't until I followed the "be still and listen for I am your God" that I had an epiphany to change careers to something that would answer "what have you done for my people?" Because that question is burned on my heart.

 

 

 

Very, very powerful and so very true.

[pureinheart]

Your post is really good Tara, something that we all can chew on a bit reminding us of personal responsibility. Thank you:)

[somedude81]

I'm going to go over in more detail the posts in this thread later on.

 

Though one thing I want to stress, is that there was absolutely nothing I could do to keep my relationship going.

 

One day, things were perfectly fine, the next day it was over. She had no interest in talking about it with me or trying to work it out.

 

The break up was something that happened to me, I had no power. It was almost as if it was predestined to end, and nobody bothered to tell me ahead of time.

[HeavenOrHell]

I still struggle with the loss of my 18yr r/ship, but it's not god's fault it ended, it's mine, because I neglected him, or maybe it was just time to move on and no-one's fault. I don't regret the time we had together.

Why does anyone have to be to blame, god or human? Crap happens to everyone, many people have far worse crap happen to them than it has in my life.

I don't believe in god personally, but if there is one why would he want to hurt you?

Suffering is all part of life unfortunately.

Blaming or hating eats you up, does no-one any good.

 

 

This is something I'm really struggling with.

 

A part of me believes that God put my ex-girlfriend into my life after I've been single and desperately alone for so long.

 

She was amazing and did so many good things for me and I feel that I've become a better man from being with her.

 

Then without warning she disappeared, I've been unable to her back. God had taken her away from me.

 

This has left me very hurt, extremely angry, and overall confused.

 

I don't know whether I should hate God for putting me in a relationship that wasn't going to last and suddenly taking her out of my life. Or be grateful to him for the time she and I have been together.

 

If I had known that it would only be a temporary relationship, I still would have gone through with it, and I wouldn't be in the state I am in now because I would know that it will end.

 

Surely God would have known that her leaving would crush me. I wonder if this was all some sort of game.

[somedude81]

I still struggle with the loss of my 18yr r/ship, but it's not god's fault it ended, it's mine, because I neglected him, or maybe it was just time to move on and no-one's fault. I don't regret the time we had together.

Why does anyone have to be to blame, god or human? Crap happens to everyone, many people have far worse crap happen to them than it has in my life.

I don't believe in god personally, but if there is one why would he want to hurt you?

Suffering is all part of life unfortunately.

Blaming or hating eats you up, does no-one any good.

 

Because for some reason I still believe that God can affect what happens in our lives.

 

Though as I look more into what is happening in the world, that isn't the case at all.

 

Several years ago the son of the pastor at the church I was going to was killed in a motorcycle accident. Very recently Pastor Rick Warren's son shot himself, I didn't go to Saddleback but my mom does.

 

So I'm slowly starting to think that if God can let these horrible things happen to pastors, why are wasting our time going to church and worshipping him? God hasn't done anything for me and he seems to let random bad crap happen to me, so why should I pray?

 

Those are the things I'm struggling with.

[HeavenOrHell]

I meant to ask, thankful for what exactly, that she was in your life for a while?

[HeavenOrHell]

I'd better not answer this as an atheist!

 

 

 

Because for some reason I still believe that God can affect what happens in our lives.

 

Though as I look more into what is happening in the world, that isn't the case at all.

 

Several years ago the son of the pastor at the church I was going to was killed in a motorcycle accident. Very recently Pastor Rick Warren's son shot himself, I didn't go to Saddleback but my mom does.

 

So I'm slowly starting to think that if God can let these horrible things happen to pastors, why are wasting our time going to church and worshipping him? God hasn't done anything for me and he seems to let random bad crap happen to me, so why should I pray?

 

Those are the things I'm struggling with.

[truthbetold]

Because for some reason I still believe that God can affect what happens in our lives.

Though as I look more into what is happening in the world, that isn't the case at all.

 

Several years ago the son of the pastor at the church I was going to was killed in a motorcycle accident. Very recently Pastor Rick Warren's son shot himself, I didn't go to Saddleback but my mom does.

 

So I'm slowly starting to think that if God can let these horrible things happen to pastors, why are wasting our time going to church and worshipping him? God hasn't done anything for me and he seems to let random bad crap happen to me, so why should I pray?

 

Those are the things I'm struggling with.

 

He does IF you seek his will and guidance. You can't expect to be ticked off and hatin' on God and expect him to work good things in your life. If you have the attitude that God doesn't care and you get nothing so why pray....that's what you will get, nothing.

 

He "allows" those awful things that happen to people including pastor's sons because people have FREE WILL. It's just that simple. Just because someone says they are following God or are a Christian doesn't make it so. Anyone call talk the talk, you have to walk the walk. IE get your life straight with God. There's a reason Jesus says "they will say Lord, Lord I spoke in your name, and he will say I do not know you". Nothing evil comes from the Lord and HE will not tempt you into doing wrong. But he will ALLOW you to be tempted by your own free will. Your fallen nature.

 

God does not force anyone to come to him. But if you keep distancing yourself from God with hate, then yeah he's not going to come near your life. And then your screw ups and bad choices and miserableness are all on you. Your free will.

[truthbetold]

I'm going to go over in more detail the posts in this thread later on.

 

Though one thing I want to stress, is that there was absolutely nothing I could do to keep my relationship going.

 

One day, things were perfectly fine, the next day it was over. She had no interest in talking about it with me or trying to work it out.

 

The break up was something that happened to me, I had no power. It was almost as if it was predestined to end, and nobody bothered to tell me ahead of time.

 

And that was her free will. Honestly yes you should be thankful you didn't waste more time. You don't see it that way yet. But this much I guarantee in this situation. God had nothing to do with it. The reason I can say that is you didn't seek his opinion or will in the matter, only your own.