My ex-girlfriend was just raped

[card]

This is going to sound crazy but I really don't want to make her sad again by blocking her. I don't think she'll send me anything else about she and this guy. Plus, I'm not perfect either...I don't want to try and look better than her by blocking her.

[card]

Wait no, forget it... She keeps posting ambiguous crap that's probably about him on Facebook like "I talked about you to my counsellor" and it hurts a lot. It only hurts because when we had to break up she said she'd try to wait for me but it's only been three weeks and she's already found another guy that her mom somehow likes more than me. I'm gonna block her.

 

 

Ugh...I never really thought about it but she was really mean to me and unappreciative the whole time we were together. I remember once I called her out on being mean (specifically calling me stupid or annoying) and she turned it around and I ended up apologizing. I put my everything into that relationship and I think to her I was just some guy to keep her from being lonely. She once asked me to list reasons why I liked her and I could think of just about an infinite amount of good qualities she had, but when I asked her the same thing she said "I don't really know. You're just...cool I guess". When she decided to be really affectionate it was the best feeling in the world but that never lasted long. We always got into arguments about things that were always my fault and I always ended up apologizing and putting so much effort into changing. I don't think she ever genuinely apologized for anything that she did. Oh yeah...and this one time she told me that she was really worried that I would cheat on her. I told her that I would never ever cheat on her (and I never would. cheating is #1 on my list of the most unforgivable relationship sins) like any normal person would. Her response when I asked her was "Well if I did it would be an accident". I hope she has a wonderful relationship with donut rapist guy.

Edited February 26, 2014 by card

[chados]

Wait no, forget it... She keeps posting ambiguous crap that's probably about him on Facebook like "I talked about you to my counsellor" and it hurts a lot. It only hurts because when we had to break up she said she'd try to wait for me but it's only been three weeks and she's already found another guy that her mom somehow likes more than me. I'm gonna block her.

 

 

Ugh...I never really thought about it but she was really mean to me and unappreciative the whole time we were together. I remember once I called her out on being mean (specifically calling me stupid or annoying) and she turned it around and I ended up apologizing. I put my everything into that relationship and I think to her I was just some guy to keep her from being lonely. She once asked me to list reasons why I liked her and I could think of just about an infinite amount of good qualities she had, but when I asked her the same thing she said "I don't really know. You're just...cool I guess". When she decided to be really affectionate it was the best feeling in the world but that never lasted long. We always got into arguments about things that were always my fault and I always ended up apologizing and putting so much effort into changing. I don't think she ever genuinely apologized for anything that she did. Oh yeah...and this one time she told me that she was really worried that I would cheat on her. I told her that I would never ever cheat on her (and I never would. cheating is #1 on my list of the most unforgivable relationship sins) like any normal person would. Her response when I asked her was "Well if I did it would be an accident". I hope she has a wonderful relationship with donut rapist guy.

 

 

 

 

first of all. i think that this is a real brek through for you. that you can admit to yourself why you shouldnt care about this girl. but stop calling this guy a rapist. you know its not true. if this guy is to told for her and its considered rape then yes. but you know that happens all the time and i know that shes not gonna have a hard time sleeping knowing she had sex with a 19 year old that didnt force him self upon her.

 

 

you admit that it hurts you that shes with him now. accept that. it sucks and many of us have been there. the girls are the ones who more often breaks up with the guys then the other way around. the girls deal with it slowly before breaking up. which means they are over it when it happens. for the guys it comes when they least expect it. thats why we have a harder time dealing with it. and this is statisticly been proven. you might have heard. girls dont talk about the problems, they wait for the guy to change.

 

 

now lets focus on you. i know ive been a little hard. but sometimes you have too be a jerk to get your point forward. im gonna give you a little advice. take it or leave it. stop apologizing to your girlfriends if you know that you were never wrong. you make yourself look like a doormat. she can just say whatever she wants and walk over you. shes not gonna respect you as a man if you cant respect yourself. so stand up for youself if you know she was wrong. whatever that might be. even if shes crying her eyes out you are not wrong if youre right.

 

 

you know shes unstable. and really young which should be a concern to keep a healthy relationship. but even if she wasnt. if someone says. yes i might cheat on you then you walk away as fast as you can. dont ever take this as a joke. its never an accident. and out of topic, but if someone tells you that you are cheating even if you havent done anything that should make them worried about it. then they might very well be cheating. they put guilt on others to make themself feel better.

 

 

what you just said showed that 1. she was in charge of your relationship. 2. she was worried about you cheating but she would herself

[card]

Thanks. I should work on having a bit more of a spine when it comes to negotiating right and wrong. Well, I'm not really sure that's the problem because half the time I felt really guilty about things I said. If I'm confident that I'm right about something then I'll defend myself but I wasn't really sure of anything in this relationship. I always felt like I was kind of a bad boyfriend even though I always tried my hardest to please her.

[chados]

Thanks. I should work on having a bit more of a spine when it comes to negotiating right and wrong. Well, I'm not really sure that's the problem because half the time I felt really guilty about things I said. If I'm confident that I'm right about something then I'll defend myself but I wasn't really sure of anything in this relationship. I always felt like I was kind of a bad boyfriend even though I always tried my hardest to please her.

 

 

 

well you said that you ended up apologizing for no reason. why did you feel guilty? if you felt guilty about being mean to her i get it. if you said something that you know wasnt bad to say then i dont get it. look this is a site nothing more. the more honest you are the easier people can help you. not putting any blame on you but why did her mom not like you for example? and why did you feel guilt about what you said or did?.

 

i get that youre not sure about the relationship. i wouldnt either if god forbid i dated a 15 year old. maybe this is what you need to understand them more. ive been through a tough breakup and i did all mistakes i could. but i learned from them. and looking back im glad it happened. sometimes you need to get hurt to learn how to not get hurt again.

 

it almost always pointless having relationships when that young. people might say , well you learn about it for adulthood. but i think that the ones having lots of relationship never learns to appriciate the people they are with. and that the ones who gets the first girl at 20-25 will do much more to keep them. only problem is that they will get much more hurt if they do break up

[card]

She always gotten really upset whenever I wanted to discuss something that has been bothering me (regarding her behavior) and I usually felt like the bad guy. She's kind of a hypocrite because she always kind of joke-insulted me (sometimes genuine insults) and I thought since she was doing that kind of stuff to me that she would be okay if I occasionally did it to her. We were just joking around once and in a (very) joking manner I said "haha f you" and her exact words were "why are you always so mean to me?". So I kind of always feel bad about anything that makes her upset and I subconsciously take responsibility.

 

Her mom didn't like me because:

- I have brown eyes (totally serious)

- I don't have a car (new guy does)

- I made some meanish comment over text about her when my ex was upset about something her mom did, but only to be on my Ex's side when she was feeling bad. her mom saw that, and it's totally understandable why she would hold a grudge against me because of it. I think it was something like calling her too strict. I apologized but I guess that didn't help much.

[chados]

She always gotten really upset whenever I wanted to discuss something that has been bothering me (regarding her behavior) and I usually felt like the bad guy. She's kind of a hypocrite because she always kind of joke-insulted me (sometimes genuine insults) and I thought since she was doing that kind of stuff to me that she would be okay if I occasionally did it to her. We were just joking around once and in a (very) joking manner I said "haha f you" and her exact words were "why are you always so mean to me?". So I kind of always feel bad about anything that makes her upset and I subconsciously take responsibility.

 

 

this is a huge problem. she has no confidence what so ever. shes craving for attention and blames it all on you. doesnt matter if she has a disorder or not. this is just a girl that shouldnt have a boyfriend at this stage in her life.

 

 

Her mom didn't like me because:

- I have brown eyes (totally serious)

- I don't have a car (new guy does)

- I made some meanish comment over text about her when my ex was upset about something her mom did, but only to be on my Ex's side when she was feeling bad. her mom saw that, and it's totally understandable why she would hold a grudge against me because of it. I think it was something like calling her too strict. I apologized but I guess that didn't help much.

 

 

 

cause you had brown eyes? do explain.. i would assume youre from america. my girlfriend is american. to them its much more common with brown eyes. and i feel like im the only one with blue eyes. i mean sure you can definitely like blue or green eyes more. but as a mother i find it strange to tell her daughter or her boyfriend that. are you perhaps south american or black? and do you think she has something against that?

 

 

well youre 16. its not the end of the world not owning a car.

why did her mom see that?, did she show her mom? i think normally you should stay out of family buisness if its not your family. especially at 16. i dont think that she wants you to tell her how shes gonna raise her kids. no offense. actually this week my girlfriends stepdad was being to drunk and did some bad choices. i told her that he should apologize.her mom was telling everyone he was right in a way. "denial". i know her well enough to know shes not gonna tell her mom i said anything. and i know that even if she would. her mom and i would be okey. you want to be that comfortable before you end up talking about her family.

[card]

It wasn't a huge reason, but my ex told me that her mom was superstitious of people with brown eyes, since their family all has blue eyes. We're all white americans. She probably doesn't like me not having a car because maybe she wouldn't like driving us anywhere, even though she's unemployed. I think when we were texting my Ex's phone was out and her mom just saw it. On second thought I shouldn't have made any comment about her family.

 

I feel really bad that she's with this guy because I really wanted to keep having a sort of text relationship with her after we broke up, and she just wanted to ignore me. Now she's with this guy that at least sexually assaulted her, which makes me look like a horrible person.

[chados]

It wasn't a huge reason, but my ex told me that her mom was superstitious of people with brown eyes, since their family all has blue eyes. We're all white americans. She probably doesn't like me not having a car because maybe she wouldn't like driving us anywhere, even though she's unemployed. I think when we were texting my Ex's phone was out and her mom just saw it. On second thought I shouldn't have made any comment about her family.

 

I feel really bad that she's with this guy because I really wanted to keep having a sort of text relationship with her after we broke up, and she just wanted to ignore me. Now she's with this guy that at least sexually assaulted her, which makes me look like a horrible person.

 

 

well most americans do have brown eyes. i would find it very strange if she would have something against that. but it wouldnt be the craziest thing ive ever heard. maybe the daughter showed her the text? think about it. its her mom. she can call her every word in the book behind her back because she know she doesnt mean it. but someone else do it? i dont say stupid things to my mother.

 

but when i was younger i know i probably said something bad behind her back. but if a friend would say. yeah i agree she is a total bitch. i would be mad at him. about driving you around. some parents do that some dont. they dont have to be a bad person. but i do think its nice if they do it from time to time.

 

 

forget about this guy. hes 19 and together with a 15 year old. he didnt win anything. if any he took your problems out of the way and got them himself. she shouldnt have any relationship. and you should focus on yourself. dont keep contact with your ex. 99% of the times it ends up bad. because theres always one of you that wants the other one back. and one ends up being hurt.

 

and think about how she was and how she is. she breaks up with you. tells you she most likely would cheat on you. because thats what that meant. she ends up with another guy days after. her mom doesnt like you. she sends you pictures of him. she treats you like youre nothing. she puts all her problems on you. trust me its hard but YOU ARE gonna get over it. i promise that. youre gonna look back and think about how stupid this was to begin with. i did the same and i can now only laugh at how stupid i was. and i feel nothing but happiness with how much i learned.

[card]

Yeah you're right. I can relate with the people who say that they're glad they had some stupid relationship in high school because it helped them learn. This was my first big relationship and I'm kind of glad everything was so crappy; I'll go into other relationships with low expectations and maybe end up very happily surprised.

[chados]

Yeah you're right. I can relate with the people who say that they're glad they had some stupid relationship in high school.

 

 

haha yeah lets pretend it was high school. no personally i was fine in high school. back then i couldnt care less if we broke up. i liked the girl but you kinda expected it i guess. its worse when you get older and dont expect it. so if this brought you down a little i guess its good so you learn something for when it gets serious.

[card]

yeah. the only thing that's bad long term that I got from this relationship is that I'm deathly afraid of being cheated on. I don't think she ever cheated on me but just her past and the way she went about things (she casually told me that she was cuddling with one of her guy friends that she had sex with a month before we got together; she told me because she wanted me to know that he tried to kiss her...wonder what gave him the idea that she was into him) has made me really insecure. like for instance I was browsing around online and some guy had this gf who was grinding on this other guy and just reading about it put me in an awful mood.

[chados]

yeah. the only thing that's bad long term that I got from this relationship is that I'm deathly afraid of being cheated on. I don't think she ever cheated on me but just her past and the way she went about things (she casually told me that she was cuddling with one of her guy friends that she had sex with a month before we got together; she told me because she wanted me to know that he tried to kiss her...wonder what gave him the idea that she was into him) has made me really insecure. like for instance I was browsing around online and some guy had this gf who was grinding on this other guy and just reading about it put me in an awful mood.

 

 

many people are from time to time. but listen. if someone accuses you of cheating for no reason. they might very well be cheating themselves. if you are convinced that someone is cheating. then you really need to have a reason to doubt them. do not every try convincing yourself that your girlfriend is cheating. dont be jealous. because whatever you do in life, if they really want to cheat on you. you cant stop that. thats why you should just live your life and not think about what can happen.

 

not being overly protecting and jealous is much more attractive to anyone. this girl is 15. dont take this relationship seriously. you all are supposed to make mistakes. its what seperates you now with who youre gonna be when youre older.

 

who cares if he tried to kiss her. even if she kissed him you werent together. and maybe he didnt know about you. this just screams attention. she just wanted to tell you that because she really wants your reaction. stop giving it to her. and stop believing everything she says. and this browsing around finding cheaters i guess you can say. theres gonna be thousands of these on the internet. we cant walk around being scared about everything. we just need to be the best we can be. and if someone dont appreciate that. then we find another one who do.

 

youre still young. far away from the best you can be. but youre getting there. you cannot stop someone from cheating. you can make it more difficult for them sometimes. but in the end. some people will just cheat anyway. and when you stop being scared about that and start respecting yourself as much as you respect the girl. then you will get that respect back.

[card]

well this happened when we were together, but this is good advice still. it's a hard thought to get out of my head but in the end yeah, nothing I can do about it and worrying doesn't help.

[card]

So two girls came up to me today in school and asked me what was up with my ex. I told them who she's dating and they both said he was really creepy. One of them even told me that he molested her. Shudder.

[chados]

did you know these girls? and why did they tell you that out of nowhere? a girl tells you he molested her? and what does that mean? grabbed her ass? if thats the case it happens all the time. yeah hes 19 and its weird. but people choose use the word molestation to lightly. theres a huge difference between getting grabbed on your ass when a teenager by another teenager and getting forced to do something while saying no. or a forced rape. girls grabbed me all the time. its not just a guything, happens all the time. no matter what he did it has nothing to do with your ex. period.

 

 

stop bringing up the rapecard. you got absolutely no proof she got forced to do anything. in fact everything youve said makes him look innocent. if you are 100% conviced and you said you were. then call the police. if you want help to move on and get a girl you can trust then i think theres a lot of people here to help you. if youre gonna focus on a girl that doesnt respect anyone. that sleeps with a guy days after she broke up with you. that lets her mom breake you up. then i think and hope most people here are gonna tell you that youre waisting your and their time.

[CC12]

did you know these girls? and why did they tell you that out of nowhere? a girl tells you he molested her? and what does that mean? grabbed her ass? if thats the case it happens all the time. yeah hes 19 and its weird. but people choose use the word molestation to lightly. theres a huge difference between getting grabbed on your ass when a teenager by another teenager and getting forced to do something while saying no. or a forced rape. girls grabbed me all the time. its not just a guything, happens all the time. no matter what he did it has nothing to do with your ex. period.

 

My goodness, chados, you are very committed to refuting claims of rape or molestation. Where did you come up with the ass-grabbing thing? OP didn't say that's what happened, but still you accuse people of using the word "molestation" too lightly. You have no idea what actually happened.

 

stop bringing up the rapecard. you got absolutely no proof she got forced to do anything.

 

You have no proof that she's lying. I'm not sure why you're so hell bent on insisting that nothing bad happened to her. I know you've "known" people who have had false allegations thrown at them, but that doesn't mean that every allegation is false.

 

if you are 100% conviced and you said you were. then call the police.

 

OP should call the police? And say what? That he heard that someone got raped? What are the police supposed to do with that information? Do you really think there is anything the police can do if someone calls them, as you're suggesting, and says, "There has been an assault! ...Well, no, I was not the one who was assaulted. It was actually my ex-girlfriend... No, I wasn't present. ...No, she doesn't want to speak to you guys." Then what happens?

 

And if she was willing to press charges and get the police involved, there's no guarantee that she'll get a sympathetic cop. I mean, what if the cop was as persistent as you have been in trying to poke holes in her story? How do you think a victim of rape would take your questioning? "Were you alone with him? Have you been diagnosed with anything or are you taking medicine?" What if the cop said things like, "you cannot possible believe that this is a 100% rape. the story doesnt add up." Stuff like this is a huge reason why sexual assaults often go unreported. Nobody would want to be subjected to questioning like that when they're reaching out for help, especially after they've been a victim of assault.

 

OP, I have to commend you for believing her even though you've had people trying really, really hard to convince you that she's a liar. In your position, you don't even need to figure out whether she's lying or not. It doesn't matter. You are her ex and you need to distance yourself from her since you cannot realistically do anything to change her behavior. Wish her well, but go your own way. Don't read a single thing she posts. Seriously. Block her on everything. It's way too much for you to handle, and apart from calling CPS, you can't do anything about it anyway.

 

Good luck.

[chados]

My goodness, chados, you are very committed to refuting claims of rape or molestation. Where did you come up with the ass-grabbing thing? OP didn't say that's what happened, but still you accuse people of using the word "molestation" too lightly. You have no idea what actually happened.

 

 

no he didnt. what he did was using the word shudder. what i was saying in the beginning was to always take it seriously, and if you are sure. but he's not, to call the cops. have you read this whole story?. people are using that word to lightly and to often. which is a big problem. it isnt a joke saying that you got molested. makes people stop believe the ones who actually do got raped.

 

You have no proof that she's lying. I'm not sure why you're so hell bent on insisting that nothing bad happened to her. I know you've "known" people who have had false allegations thrown at them, but that doesn't mean that every allegation is false.

 

 

no it definitely doesnt mean that. again always take it seriously. but when someone accuses a person for rape. which he did from the start. refuses to call the police. says that he shouldnt go to jail because of his age. and maybe he shouldnt. but if the agething stopped him from calling the police when he knows for sure that she got raped?. then he says that "he told her" she got raped. he put that in to her head. she never mentioned it. then she says he didnt know it was rape. so she didnt know it was rape, he didnt know it was rape. the only one who knows this is rape is her ex who wasnt there. if if you havent read everything even though i really dont want to once again can tell you why this story doesnt make sense.

 

 

 

 

 

OP should call the police? And say what? That he heard that someone got raped? What are the police supposed to do with that information? Do you really think there is anything the police can do if someone calls them, as you're suggesting, and says, "There has been an assault! ...Well, no, I was not the one who was assaulted. It was actually my ex-girlfriend... No, I wasn't present. ...No, she doesn't want to speak to you guys." Then what happens?

 

it depends on what circumstances. they of course cannot do anything if everyones denying it. if they dont find anything along the trial. but if you are sure about it then you call the cops. you dont just leave it. are you suggesting that if i heard someone got killed but i wasnt present. i shouldnt tell the cops because i wasnt there?

 

 

 

And if she was willing to press charges and get the police involved, there's no guarantee that she'll get a sympathetic cop. I mean, what if the cop was as persistent as you have been in trying to poke holes in her story? How do you think a victim of rape would take your questioning? "Were you alone with him? Have you been diagnosed with anything or are you taking medicine?" What if the cop said things like, "you cannot possible believe that this is a 100% rape. the story doesnt add up." Stuff like this is a huge reason why sexual assaults often go unreported. Nobody would want to be subjected to questioning like that when they're reaching out for help, especially after they've been a victim of assault.

 

 

they always question. now youre talking about something that you have no clue about. for your information. someone accused of rape "accused". doesnt have to proove himself not guilty. its up for the judge to do that. and i can ensure you that if they heard this story he wouldnt be guilty in trial. and what are you talking about sympathetic? you dont do that in a courtroom. you dont show compassion. you charge someone because they are without a resonable doubt guilty. thats how it works and how it should work. also, she has never asked for help about this. she is dating the guy. they are gonna question everything that everyone says. This is why a person can't get sentenced just by admitting his crime. Court still needs to prove without a reasonable doubt that he was the one doing it.

 

this bothers me. you dont think i should question this story and thats fine. you believe what you want to believe. and i never told him to tell her my thoughts. i said you help her out if you are convinced. but now youre saying that the police shouldnt question it? they should show sympathy. this is another reason people dont take rape as seriously as they should. because people like you choose to believe that everyone accused is guilty. and you should only hear one side of the story.

Edited March 7, 2014 by chados

[CC12]

what i was saying in the beginning was to always take it seriously

 

Yeah, it's pretty obvious that you were never actually sincere about that statement at all since you followed it with several pages worth of explaining over and over again how there's no way she's telling the truth.

 

this bothers me. you dont think i should question this story and thats fine.

 

It was never in question! OP was not asking if he should believe her or not. He has said many times that he believes her, and in fact, he did ask at one point that if people were going to discuss it, to please just take it as given that a rape occurred.

 

I just think it's really weird that you've spent so much time and energy trying to prove a 15-year-old girl wrong, especially since it was never the question in the first place. Double weird that you chose to try to cast doubt on someone who simply said, "He molested me" when you had absolutely no other information than that one statement.

 

OP, any updates? Are you still talking to your ex?

[chados]

Yeah, it's pretty obvious that you were never actually sincere about that statement at all since you followed it with several pages worth of explaining over and over again how there's no way she's telling the truth.

 

i said this because of one reason only. that if he was completely sure that she was raped. he do the right thing. and what do you belive?

 

It was never in question! OP was not asking if he should believe her or not. He has said many times that he believes her, and in fact, he did ask at one point that if people were going to discuss it, to please just take it as given that a rape occurred.

 

 

are you kidding me right now? take it as a given that a rape occured? if you dont believe it you dont help someone getting a person charged. this is the most crazy thing ive ever heard. you are completely taking sides without having anything to go on. you are telling me that i shouldt say it isnt true. yet the only thing youre doing here is accusing a person for rape. if we go by your logic, we can accuse anyone we want and demand that people should help us out even if were not telling the truth, or if we just dont believe it. can you please name one thing in this story that makes you believe this is true?

 

 

I just think it's really weird that you've spent so much time and energy trying to prove a 15-year-old girl wrong, especially since it was never the question in the first place. Double weird that you chose to try to cast doubt on someone who simply said, "He molested me" when you had absolutely no other information than that one statement.

 

 

 

 

you have absolutely no idea what youre talking about. im not saying shes lying. are you even reading this? yes i said in the begining that it didnt sound right. then he told me more and more. its not her story. its his story. but you dont get that because youre still on page one. do you know why i said that about the other girl? because yet again that was the only thing we got here. no information what so ever what she meant by molesting. not saying she has to say anything. but i know that withtin a few pages we probably will.

 

 

why do you keep bringing the girl up?, lets talk about him and stop defending her just because you feel that we need to show sympathy so that others can get arrested more easily.

 

this is a story that he wrote here. he told it the way he wanted to tell. and i do not believe that it happened this way. i dont think he is lying about what he wrote. thats my opinion, i think he was being brutaly honest at least most of the time. he obviously doesnt like this guy and i dont see why he would defend him and call him a rapist?.

 

nobody is lying okey? so stop bringing that up.

Edited March 8, 2014 by chados

[card]

Hi, sorry I haven't checked in for a long time. Chados, I'm not entirely sure what you're trying to say. I'm not making anything up. I'm not sure I should be calling it rape since that's such a powerful word, but the way she described it sounded like rape. It's at least molestation, which is still awful. The girl who came up to me and told me that he molested her is a friend so it's not like she just decided to suddenly tell me this. She just asked what was up with my ex, I said "she's dating that guy now" and she replied with something like "him? He really scares me. He molested me." Or something. I told her that he molested my ex (I know it's personal and I probably shouldn't have said anything but I felt like I needed to) she reacted with "What!? Why!?" So it doesn't sound like what he did was just grab her ass.

 

About a week ago my ex texted me something like "my bf just said that I'm hot an i should get on my knees and blow him. why can't I ever have a good relationship?" I then told her that maybe she should break up with him (I said that some time to focus on herself might help and didn't mention this guy being and absolutely ****ty boyfriend). She just said "no". I'm not sure why.

 

I didn't look at any of her posts on facebook or twitter, but today my curiosity

got the best of me. She had posted "I'm so lucky to have someone who cares so much about me". Assuming that was about her boyfriend. It makes me sad because I put everything into our relationship when we were together. It nearly killed me trying to come up with ways to please her, and I was very rarely thanked. The best I got was a very late night text out of nowhere saying "I always take you for granted. I'm really happy you're in my life." Which arguably is pretty sweet. This guy has gotten her completely addicted to smoking because he gives cigarettes to her whenever she's sad, which apparently equals caring. I see them around school and he barely notices her, like for instance she walked passed him on her way to a class and he just looked up. Venting, sorry.

 

Other than still being kind of mad I'm doing pretty well.

[card]

To be clear, I don't miss her. I'm angry that she's placing this guy on a pedestal while completely forgetting about me and my efforts. I don't know what she sees in him. He's in one of my classes (remember, 19) and he's an absolute jackass.

[chados]

No I said. I don't think you're making this story up. In fact that's why I don't believe she got raped. I think if you were lying about everything you could have made a much better story. I think that she's just an insecure girl that chooses to agree with you telling her she got raped. I think you overreacted because it hurt you that she was with him. it's disturbing how this girl is acting and I do understand how you feel. But trust me this girl is bad news. And when you find someone good for you you will know why.

 

We always miss the feeling of not being alone more then the relationship that was probably bad most of the time. We get more hurt getting dumped and seeing people move on then the fact that it ended. You are hurt which is okey. The worst thing you can do is to look what she's doing. The guy is clearly not good to her but it's not your job to fix her life. She's crying out about how bad her life is. The other second everything is good. She needs help but she's young and she might even grow out of it in a couple of years

[card]

Oh, alright. At the time I thought that any undesired sexual activity was considered rape, and oral rape is technically a thing, but it's hard to tell what it really was based on her story. I guess it did kind of hurt to see her with another guy since when we had to break up she said that she'd wait for me. Only took her two weeks to intentionally kiss someone else. I know she's not good for me at all and this is kind of selfish but deep down I'm thinking "she shouldn't be allowed to be happy without me" even though that's obviously insane and mean. I don't want her to be unhappy but something about her being happy without me makes me feel like I failed. Well, I'm not sure if she's actually happy or not. I'll just try not to pay attention to her. Hopefully she gets the help she needs from someone. Sorry that this thread because more about me than her, especially considering the pretty extreme title and all.

[chados]

It is rape if she got forced no

Matter what kind of sexual actions that took place. But it's not rape if she wasn't forced to it.remember that she's still with this guy, so undesired I don't know. Regrets afterwards maybe.. Undesired isn't the same thing as being forced. I know how you are feeling. And it's not crazy to feel that way. We all do and you think Theres no way back to normal. The best way is to not look at her Facebook. Put all things you got from

Her in a box or throw it away. Delete texts etc.

 

You haven't failed anything. It's never your fault that someone breaks up with you. And this is one time when I can actually say that she was the one who lost something and not you. It's their choice and they do it for selfish reasons only. They want to be with someone else. She decided it was okey a couple days later which is horrible but not unexpected for a 15 year old.

Edited March 25, 2014 by chados