I'm turning into that person who complains . . .

[SpiralOut]

I try to keep my complaining to LS or my journal or some other written form, away from the people I know in real life. Lately though I'm noticing that I sometimes blurt out something that annoys me, and others (not everyone) will throw a funny look my way. I can control myself if I'm just getting to know someone. With people I know better, or am starting to feel close to, my complaints leak out. It's like I can't help it. I guess I've got too much pent-up frustrations and I can't hold it in all the time. But I don't want to be the whiner, or that negative person. I try very hard to stay positive and it bothers me that I can't always do that.

 

 

Why do I have an endless stream of frustrations that I need to vent, and how can I control it? I don't want to turn people off.

[mario_C]

Write out a plan to rid your life of the thing that makes you a complainer. If it's your job, go after a better job with everything you got. I wouldn't recommend quitting without another job lined up, but plan for a transition.

If it's a bad relationship, leave. If you live with the person, write out a plan to leave, organize your funds and things that need to be displaced (if it's a move out while he's at work situation) and search for a landing pad.

Locking misery and frustration in will kill you slow while the people who made you miserable keep driving their Mercedes to work. Don't go out like that.

[SpiralOut]

Thanks. This is going to sound materialistic, but, I think I'm unhappy about money. I want more money. I can't do half the things I want to do unless I make more. But when I think about how to make more I get stressed out and discouraged. I can't come up with a plan that I like.

 

 

I'll have to think harder I guess.

[Tiger Lily]

Why do I have an endless stream of frustrations that I need to vent, and how can I control it? I don't want to turn people off.

 

I don't think you're alone SpiralOut. I found myself going down the same path, and have to check myself every so often. I guess it's a natural tendency I have? It really started when I entered my work place. It's dominated by females, so I don't know if that had anything to do with it. But complaining and gossiping became all too easy.

 

 

The thing that makes you different than most, imo, is that you recognize this in yourself and want to change! . That's awesome. Many people don't think twice about being negative all the time.

 

 

I think we can always find something to complain about. No matter how much we try to make our lives perfect, we can always want more, bigger, better, etc. etc. It's never-ending! And when you look at some people who are the poorest and in the most dire circumstances, sometimes they're the happiest!

 

 

So basically, I think it's just a matter of perspective. Being thankful and keeping our focus on all that we do have, rather than what we don't or what is going wrong, helps me remember that life is much better than it could be.

 

 

Best of luck, SO.

[FitChick]

I think I'm unhappy about money. I want more money. I can't do half the things I want to do unless I make more.

So, in other words, you are normal!

[mario_C]

Wanting more money is totally normal. Who do you want to be? That is the one question that everyone has to know the answer to, to get ahead in life. Once you know the answer, you'll be OK.

[SpiralOut]

I want to be someone important, who does good things to make the world a better place. I want a career that makes me feel fulfilled. I've tried several things that I thought would allow me to do that, but I ended up being unhappy with them. I keep ending up in positions that make me feel undervalued, useless, a cog in the machine who is making no difference to the world.

 

 

I tried volunteer work and the environmental organization I went with didn't appreciate me. They would put me on their "to-call" list for a task I'd signed up for, then never call me. They kept losing my applications that I filled out. I must have filled out three of them. They would cancel things without informing me. I took pictures for them, which they never used.

 

 

I'm hesitant to go back to school, since I've done that twice already and it didn't help me to get hired. All it did was give me more debt to pay off, so that I am now unable to travel which was my dream in the first place. My education was just something "practical" that I did, which ended up not helping me at all.

 

 

My dream has been to be an author, and/or do something to help the environment. I'd always imagined myself living in some exotic place, performing research. Instead I am in some boring city doing a boring job that pays hardly anything. Lately I've made more effort to pursue my dreams, and I realize how vague they are. So now I am trying to narrow it down. I've been researching gardening, nutrition, and the food system. I'm very interested in sustainable farming. I watch documentaries and right now I'm taking some free online courses through coursera.org. I've started blogs so I can practice writing.

 

In the meantime my money situation sucks. I need to fix that now, not wait until I figure out what I want from life, otherwise I could be broke for years to come. It's taking me too long to find my path.

 

 

 

I should also mention that I sabotage myself. It took me a long time to realize that I do that. So I think one of my steps that I need to take, is to figure out why I get in my own way. I am smart enough and driven enough that I COULD have fulfilled my dreams by now, but for some reason I make up reasons for why I can't do them and I pursue these other things that make me feel unhappy. I mean, my dream as a little kid was to save the rainforest. So when I applied to school, did I apply for the environmental studies program? No of course not. I applied for psychology, even though I hate working with people. WTF? What is wrong with me??

 

[/rant]

 

 

ETA: Also, this girl I know from university switched her major over to environmental studies and now she co-runs a company that is everything I want for myself: environmentally conscious, focused on producing local, sustainable food and giving educational lectures at schools. They give people internships and everything. I cannot help but feel insanely jealous.

Edited March 7, 2014 by SpiralOut