blow job

[Confused]

My husband told me last week that he got a blow job from a girl at work. I was stunned. He says he is sorry and it will never happen again but what I was wondering once a man has stepped over that linee will it be easier for him a second time, I honsstly beleive this is the first time it has happened in 20 years of marriage.

[unnamed]

Whether or not it would be easy for him to 'step over the line' again is controlled by a few factors.

 

1) What type of man is he? Of course, I do not know, but I find he cares very little for you if he would do such a thing. Not only is it devastating the trust foundation, but also your feelings of adequacy. Set that aside, consider his background, how he feels about your marriage, and whether or not he is actually concerned about what he's done, if he is willing to work on it, not willing, etc.

 

2) How forgiving are you? Second factor is a big one. If you forgive him and simply drop it, it is a possibility that he may think he can commit the act once again with consequence.

 

3) Consequences? Have you threatened him, told him how you felt, or anything? I suggest you open up to him, and profess your true feelings about this issue. I would certainly be enraged by such a thing, and also extremely hurt. But if you forgive him with no consequence, again, he may think he can get away with it again.

 

If I may quote something which can relate to this, "once a criminal, always a criminal." The quote indeed speaks the truth, but it isn't always true.

 

Your husband simply cannot be trusted. Some people make mistakes in life, true, and some people learn once from their mistakes and never do the same again. Others will do it over and over again. The idea with this is to prevent it from happening again by threat. If he truly loved you, he wouldn't have done it in the first place. Aside from that, if he truly loved you, he would care more about you than a simple blowjob.

 

I would definetely take a woman's heart over a blowjob. Ask your husband the same -- which does he value more? Right now, it seems he values the physical pleasure over you, and that is truly sad.

[ahsesmum]

I think you need to be careful how you handle this. If you're too lenient, he'll think he can do it again cause you didn't react too much. I would make life hard for a while for him. Let him realize that you cannot trust him after this stupidity. Ask hiim what he was thinking. Do you give him blowjobs (kinda personal) maybe you're not satisfyin him. Talk to him and see what caused this to happen. Than work on it from there. But if he does it again.. kick his ass and then leave his ass!

My husband told me last week that he got a blow job from a girl at work. I was stunned. He says he is sorry and it will never happen again but what I was wondering once a man has stepped over that linee will it be easier for him a second time, I honsstly beleive this is the first time it has happened in 20 years of marriage.

[Laurynn]

How did this revelation come about? Did he just confess to it, out of the blue?...or had you suspected something and you confronted him and THEN he confessed?

 

Did this blowjob take place *at* work? If so, the guy and this woman are total idiots to carry on like that at their place of employment. I can't emphasize enough "total idiots."

 

Did he say WHY he did this? (well, other than the obvious reasons) How can you be sure this is the FIRST time he's ever done something like this? If it was my husband, I sure wouldn't have any trust left for him....not for a long time to come.

 

So he still works with this whore? (that's what I'll call a woman who gives a blowjob to a married man at work)

 

As ashesmum suggested, I sure as heck wouldn't be too forgiving about this just yet....or he'll think he can continue to pull stunts like this.

 

This might be a good time to consider marriage counselling...because this might just signal something amiss in your marriage (or he could just be a horny pig who has the morals of a mudflap)

 

I'm really sorry you're going through this. What a shocker, and how hurtful. How is your sex life with him (before this revelation)

 

Laurynn

[Tony T]

I think a man who comes home to his wife and says "Honey dear, I got a blow job from a girl at work today" is a taco short of a combination platter.

 

This is pretty bizarre behavior. First, you have to work with some pretty nutty people to "just" get a blow job. His statement implies he had a lot more to do with her. Ladies just don't give blowjobs to men at work during coffee break just to past the time...and most men don't like coffee stains on their penis.

 

Does he work at a sanitarium or a prison? This could be in the realm of normal for those kinds of places.

 

If he's been meeting her after work, then he's been having an affair. What he should have said was "Honey, I have been having an affair with a girl at work and today she gave me a blowjob." Now that would have been more of a complete story...but it would also placed your husband at the mental level of a second grader.

 

Your problem is not the blow job he got. Any woman can stick a penis in her mouth and swish her tongue around on it. But for a man to come home and announce it to the woman he loves shows his elevator is missing a button for the mezzanine. Twenty years of marriage shouldn't make a man comfortable enough to come home and just blurt that out with his request for a Coke.

 

You need to talk to him. I really think he is regressing to an early stage of psychological development. Ask him why he told you this? Ask him why he is craving blow jobs at work? Ask him if he needed oral sex during break or lunch time, why couldn't he have called you to come to his work and gotten that from you? Maybe he just didn't want to bother you.

 

I would think that there's probably a work policy that forbids co-workers from giving each other blow jobs. If his mouth, and hers, is as big at his workplace as it is at home, he may just tell the wrong person and lose his job.

 

If he loses his job, he won't be able to get any more blow jobs to come home and tell you about and you won't be able to eat quite as well.

 

If this is the first dum thing your husband has done in 20 years, I'd say you are extremely lucky. Most wives allow their husbands a few really dumb things a year.

 

I still think your husband's remark hits blow the belt.

[nasty]

My husband told me last week that he got a blow job from a girl at work. I was stunned. He says he is sorry and it will never happen again but what I was wondering once a man has stepped over that linee will it be easier for him a second time, I honsstly beleive this is the first time it has happened in 20 years of marriage.

I have been told many very nasty things that are going on in the work place , and I am sure what I have heard happens in alot of other places too.

 

One was that a older women was giving blow jobs on her break ,she denied taking money for them of course and was sent home for the day .

 

I don't think men think that a blow job is cheating .

 

They seem to think as long as you don't have intercourse they are ok. why I don't know?

 

If you trust him and he has only made this one slip in twenty years, I think it's ok to try to put it behind you , but if it happens again you have no choice but to let him know in a very harsh way that it is unexceptable.

[fishbulb]

I have been told many very nasty things that are going on in the work place , and I am sure what I have heard happens in alot of other places too. One was that a older women was giving blow jobs on her break ,she denied taking money for them of course and was sent home for the day .

 

I don't think men think that a blow job is cheating . They seem to think as long as you don't have intercourse they are ok. why I don't know? If you trust him and he has only made this one slip in twenty years, I think it's ok to try to put it behind you , but if it happens again you have no choice but to let him know in a very harsh way that it is unexceptable.

Just curious... is your name Hillary?...