looking4_hope Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 Currently Trying to see if reconciliation with H is possible. Having a "in home separation" Right now we are not sleeping in the same bed, although i'd like for this to change soon… but i'm not quite sure how this could change?? when we're home i tend to clam up and we can't seem to talk without talking about the relationship and it's current state. How do you just "talk" without having to worry about the relationship for once??? As much as i'd like to say "hi! how was your day today??" or "hey today i got offered a job.." I can't. I'm afraid it won't matter. How do you act without looking like you're trying to hard or overly enthusiastic?? i just feel awkward and i feel like i'm making all the wrong moves. Is reconciliation or (just trying to see if it's possible) supposed to be this difficult?? Link to post Share on other sites
Scott0310 Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 I can tell you right now an “in-home” separation is VERY hard, my wife and I are kind of doing the same thing, but my roles compared to you are reversed. Right now she wants a divorce, though not a week ago she was trying to work things out with herself before giving me a chance which is perfectly fine. Problem was me staying in the same home, I would perform actions just as you stated youre doing, trying to talk but it would get awkward and I’d say something and it would push her away. Last night she said something that I hope I am not taking out of context that it sounds like maybe if I finally just give her her time, maybe it might open the door. My advice to you is to do what I am going to do (and hope it works), perform the little things so he may notice, but keep your distance and leave him alone. I am starting this now, including going to a hotel on the weekends to minimize our time together. I just hope its not too late, for both our sakes Link to post Share on other sites
elgringo Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 I don't know what your situation is, but the fact that you and H are separated means reconciliation may not be possible. Trying too hard could make things worse. My wife and I are talking about separating. We have both been to lawyers and a separation agreement is in the works. For several weeks my wife tried to reconcile with me. I told her that I needed space and that if we were to work out our problems that we should do it in marriage counseling. She continued to get in my face and ask me why I stopped loving her and although she did make 2 counseling appointments she canceled them both. I dont know if counseling would have made a difference with us, but I would at least like to give it a shot. If you really want to reconcile, my advice is to give your H some space. Time and space are the best things when people are upset. Then see if H is willing to go to counseling and try to work out things there. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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