Mondmellonw Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 If so, why? Does it really depends on the situation? Link to post Share on other sites
xUnknown Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 If so, why? Does it really depends on the situation? LOL...umm, if someone is considering doing this, they should see a therapist because they have serious self worth/value and self esteem issues. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 If so, why? Does it really depends on the situation? What situation could possibly make a difference? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mondmellonw Posted February 17, 2014 Author Share Posted February 17, 2014 I was just feeling mad at this cause that is what my ex did. I gave him my whole respect and there he is again... I shouldn't care at all, but man, that's really weird... Makes me wonder what the hell is going on with him... At the same time I guess it makes me feel like there was no way I could save the relationship I had with him. It's like he does't not know how to be in a healthy relationship. Dunno. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 If so, why? Does it really depends on the situation? Having been around serial MW's, I'd likely not 'take' one back, not solely due to their indiscretions but also due to the attendant personal and psychological issues they displayed. For some, infidelity might exist in a vacuum but, so far, my anecdotes have displayed other malaise or disorder, most commonly, alcoholism or substance abuse. Additionally, though in no way their responsibility, they also related episodes of sexual abuse or rape, mainly when young. IMO, there would be a number of factors such a decision would turn upon, though my general answer would be 'no'. If yes, it would likely entail intensive counseling for both of us. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 If you are repeatedly taking back a serial cheater (hellooooooo he's doing this over and over and over again), this has absolutely nothing to do with him and everything to do with you and why you think you deserve the crap he's serving you on a dirty spork. Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 Absolutely not. Never. Not even a potential option. You cheat once? You're done. You don't get subsequent opportunities to make me look like an a.sshole. Link to post Share on other sites
AlphaC Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 If so, why? Does it really depends on the situation? OH GOD, are you still with this ?? Remember your thread "scared/gut feeling" you need counseling, quick fast in a hurry too!!! This guy you are pining for does the following: 1. cheats 2. stalks 3. hooks up with your friends (the one that you thought had your back after your break up) 4. lies on and on.. Mondmellonw, is there not another guy that tickles your fancy, are you that desperate, insecure and needy that you have to continue to chase this loser?? jesus christ, get help! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mondmellonw Posted February 17, 2014 Author Share Posted February 17, 2014 I don't think getting a therapist is bad at all... I did it once when I was 17, and been doing it. Needed to vent, but you're right. :/ Link to post Share on other sites
AlphaC Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 I don't think getting a therapist is bad at all... I did it once when I was 17, and been doing it. Needed to vent, but you're right. :/ I'm telling you this because I am sure you know you deserve better, everyone posting on here is trying to evolve from their past, it's up to you to follow suit. 2014, now it's your turn, you are young, you can do it, have confidence in yourself, every time you think about that loser praise the lord he is out of your life! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mondmellonw Posted February 17, 2014 Author Share Posted February 17, 2014 All I'm doing it's try to understand the "why's" still..., even if it gets me nowhere. I am sure of not wanting him back, if you haven't seen my last threads, he appeared and well, blamed me for all. My only blame is to still care. Thank you, I do not find it like a bad criticism, but still makes me mad at myself for wanting to understand Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 Of course you look to him to understand. It's easier than looking inward. Working on yourself takes real effort. You need to find out what made you tolerate this unhealthy relationship in the first place. A healthier person just would not put up with it. Many married people with children won't put up with it and they have a lot more to lose than just a boyfriend. Stop focusing on him. You cannot change him. He's a creep and will probably be one for many years to come. Focus on yourself instead. Why do you believe this creeper guy is all that you deserve? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
chelsea2011 Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 You're human and it is very healthy to ask questions. That is the only way you will find the answers to your "why." Don't beat yourself up. Keep asking and it will lead you to understanding why you did and that is all that matters. The cheaters why is inconsequential. They are responsible for figuring out their own reasons for being a serial cheater. They may or may not; it all depends on whether or not they want find those answers. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mondmellonw Posted February 17, 2014 Author Share Posted February 17, 2014 I think I am somehow trying to help him more than I'm helping myself by obsessing over the "why's". However, days have passed by and I don't feel that bad now. First month I felt like I was living a half and being dead on the other half. Never felt like that before. But AlphaC is right, he knows the story. My ex didn't cheated on me (for what I know, at least)... So.... I am just being stupid now. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 I wouldn't even take back a one time cheater so I damn sure wouldn't take a serial one back. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
iouaname Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 I took back a serial cheater in my first relationship and payed for it ten-fold when he, inevitably, let me down again. I don't think it's worth the pain to take back a serial cheater, no matter how repentant he/she seems to be. It poisons the well, and I think it's better to just move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 I wouldn't even take back a one time cheater so I damn sure wouldn't take a serial one back. Sums up my thoughts. Taking back a serial cheater is basically like wearing a flashing "kick me" sign. Link to post Share on other sites
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