Teraskas Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 Hello, Edited out the body for brevity's sake. Bottom line: I am really horny/curious, too busy(with school) for a relationship and too reserved to communicate what I want. Beings that the foundation of any good (lasting) relationship is based on trust and respect, I don't think it's wise to become fwb with this guy friend of yours. Chances are highly likely that he'll end up using you for sex and forget you altogether afterwards. The reason why I put a specific part in bold is because you REALLY need to know what you want. Do you want a relationship despite the fact that you're busy with school ? Then make time for it. And please do not waste the time of people who are genuinely looking for something more using OLD and dismissing them with that line when you do meet up with them during the first date. Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 Beings that the foundation of any good (lasting) relationship is based on trust and respect, I don't think it's wise to become fwb with this guy friend of yours. Chances are highly likely that he'll end up using you for sex and forget you altogether afterwards. The reason why I put a specific part in bold is because you REALLY need to know what you want. Do you want a relationship despite the fact that you're busy with school ? Then make time for it. And please do not waste the time of people who are genuinely looking for something more using OLD and dismissing them with that line when you do meet up with them during the first date. She uses him for sex to, I don't se a problem here. As Samantha said she's horny and curious so it's time to get rid of that itch. Link to post Share on other sites
Teraskas Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 She uses him for sex to, I don't se a problem here. As Samantha said she's horny and curious so it's time to get rid of that itch. Ah, my bad. Accidently clicked a related thread, read that and posted here. Derp. :/ On topic: it's her decision. Link to post Share on other sites
Silver93 Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 Hello, I am in a bit of a pickle. I am a relatively reserved person and people's general impression of me is that I am a "good girl". I can't express/hint my desires to anyone, mainly because I have no experience and don't know how. Thankfully, there is online dating. Honestly, this is the best thing for me because I can skip most of the stupid is he single/interested in me crap. I've slowly gotten the hang of it. The guys who are down for casual sex do not really want virgins. I can't lie because I would feel too pressured. I do not want to list myself as a virgin looking for casual sex (tried that, got the weirdest messages) and so I feel my only option is to actually date someone romantically and then have sex with them. I find it is easier to trust someone this way, but I am also not at a time in my life where I want a serious relationship yet and I would feel bad using someone. I have gone out with this one guy three times. I have decided, though the conversation is decent and he is nice to me, that there is no spark. However he is someone I would be willing to be fwb. I trust him, I find him physically attractive, he respects me etc... Based on his online profile he is not a virgin, but I am starting to think that is not true because he was really awkward when I kissed him (on our third date after he never made a move to kiss me earlier) and there are a few other things he said that gave me a virgin vibe(yes, I do realize the irony of what I am doing here). I am pretty sure he is interested in more than sex because he is older than me and hasn't really hinted otherwise. I have this problem where I don't like hurting people's feelings which creates a lot of hesitation on my part. What should I do? I see my options as asking him to be fwb or letting him go and finding someone new, although it will take me a while to find someone I trust enough and who doesn't mind that I am a virgin. Bottom line: I am really horny/curious, too busy(with school) for a relationship and too reserved to communicate what I want. Don't downplay the importance of your virginity. Would it not be far more special to lose it to someone you are in love with. You might regret it if you lose it to someone who might not care about you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
newmoon Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 Samantha lose your virginity now. I dated a 24 year old virgin and when she told me that she never had sex I got scared, because I knew if I was her first one she'll fall in love and I didn't what that because at that time a relationship wasn't what I was aiming for.. After a couple of years we talked and she asked me why didn't I slept with her because her virginity is a curse( she is stil a virgin now at 26 ) this is hilarious. and probably what all men (erroneously) think. just because you're a woman's 1st it doesn't mean she'll fall in love with you and it doesn't make you the love of her life, lol and there is no age at which being a virgin is a 'curse' - the only curse would be losing it to someone who doesn't care for you, as in a FWB or random hookup. your first time doesn't have to be hearts and flowers and candlelight, but it should (at minimum) make you feel very safe and trusting that your partner won't hurt you, or otherwise make you uncomfortable with anything. you don't get that from a random FWB or someone off the internet that you've known a few 'dates' Link to post Share on other sites
Silver93 Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 Some people say that sex distorts relationships. Some people who wait until marriage say that they have a far closer emotional connection because they waited. It also makes their relationship stronger when they are older and sex is no longer an option. Link to post Share on other sites
Notsure_9 Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 this is hilarious. and probably what all men (erroneously) think. just because you're a woman's 1st it doesn't mean she'll fall in love with you and it doesn't make you the love of her life, lol That's exactly what I was thinking! It's crazy to think just because you're a womens 1st she going to be a stage 5 clinger who's in love with you In all seriousness it's not something you need to rush or jump into just to get it over with. It does need to be someone you feel safe and comfortable with someone you can really trust that you know is not feeding you a bunch of crap just to get sex Link to post Share on other sites
El Brujo Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 Some people say that sex distorts relationships. Some people who wait until marriage say that they have a far closer emotional connection because they waited. It also makes their relationship stronger when they are older and sex is no longer an option. You realize, don't you, that's a real slap in the face to the contemporary mantra that "sex is good for you, and the more, the better"? Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 You realize, don't you, that's a real slap in the face to the contemporary mantra that "sex is good for you, and the more, the better"? He's also a 20 year old virgin who is planning on waiting till marriage because of his Catholic faith. Link to post Share on other sites
OpheliaSong Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 I am all for sexual equality for women, no slut shaming and getting to have sex for your pleasure, but I want to caution you to think this over very carefully. Your first time is special because it is your first. I know that I still remember it with fondness and love in my heart for the sweet boy who was my first. It was the sweetest moment....please don't be hasty with your first time. Your virginity isn't something to lose, but something to share. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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