LeeBrice Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 (edited) Long story short - I was fat in high school and it shattered my confidence with women. I've grown up, lost all the extra weight, become educated and successful, have a good amount of friends but I have never had a girlfriend. I just don't meet women at all in my day to day life and I find the cold approach to be incredibly daunting. I sometimes wonder if I will ever have a girlfriend. Would this be a huge red flag if you met somebody like this? Edited February 19, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Removed prohibited link Link to post Share on other sites
Guy On The Couch Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 I would not look at it as a red flag Male or Female. I would just view it as people who had education as a priority, nothing wrong with this at all. Even considering you're still young. 25 is not over the hill by any means my friend. As far as the appearance thing....I'm straight.....BUT you look good man. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LeeBrice Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 I would not look at it as a red flag Male or Female. I would just view it as people who had education as a priority, nothing wrong with this at all. Even considering you're still young. 25 is not over the hill by any means my friend. As far as the appearance thing....I'm straight.....BUT you look good man. thanks buddy. I look much better in real life...never know how to pose in pics 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 Oh! You're a good looking guy. And I'm not just saying that. The all black looks good! I honestly think you look great. And pfft who cares that your 25 no gf also no BAGGAGE. I don't think it's a big deal at all we all have to start somewhere! You're educated & successful too all at 25? Quite the catch if you ask me. There are 45 year olds who can't say that. At least your not 25 chilling in the clubs getting drunk & on drugs. Any girl would be lucky to get their hands on you, you better watch out! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 I got my first girlfriend at 31 and she was a really cute and intelligent 20 year old. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LeeBrice Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 Oh! You're a good looking guy. And I'm not just saying that. The all black looks good! I honestly think you look great. And pfft who cares that your 25 no gf also no BAGGAGE. I don't think it's a big deal at all we all have to start somewhere! You're educated & successful too all at 25? Quite the catch if you ask me. There are 45 year olds who can't say that. At least your not 25 chilling in the clubs getting drunk & on drugs. Any girl would be lucky to get their hands on you, you better watch out! hahaha yea I love the color black for some reason. I even have a black on black Audi A5 (with tinted windows) that looks awesome As far as partying and getting drunk goes, I actually do that too. I work very hard and play very hard, all within reason though of course Link to post Share on other sites
Author LeeBrice Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 I got my first girlfriend at 31 and she was a really cute and intelligent 20 year old. wow, that definitely gives me some hope. Are you guys together? As far as age goes, I would like somebody within +/- 5-8 years or so 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Guy On The Couch Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 I got my first girlfriend at 31 and she was a really cute and intelligent 20 year old. My first girlfriend was at the age of about 12...Oh Rosey Palmer!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author LeeBrice Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 My first girlfriend was at the age of about 12...Oh Rosey Palmer!! my first kiss was at 19, terrible Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 wow, that definitely gives me some hope. Are you guys together? As far as age goes, I would like somebody within +/- 5-8 years or so Sadly, we are no longer together, there were some lingering issues with her ex boyfriend. Still it was an amazing six months. The right girl isn't going to care about your age or inexperience if you don't. Link to post Share on other sites
Sivok Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 Face-wise, nothing to worry about. I was a late bloomer too (didn't have my girlfriend or kiss until I was 22). Online dating is what helped me break into the field of dating and 'approaching' women. After I went out on a few dates and got a bit more comfortable, I started going out and doing cold-approaches - which, in my opinion, is the BEST way to learn how to meet women. It teaches you conversation skills, builds your objection-handling skills (you'll never get thrown more interrogation questions than by a pretty girl in a bar), and - most importantly - how to handle rejection, as you'll get shut down ALOT. Why do I suggest doing the cold approach? Because it allows you to feel more comfortable talking to strangers. The whole world can be your dating pool. Just friday night, I was on a plane back from a work trip, and I sat next to a really pretty college girl. Before I got used to approaching girls, I would never in a million years worked the nerve to start talking to her - but immediately as I sat down, I made eye contact, smiled, said hi, and we proceeded to talk for the entirety of the flight. Don't say you never see women around. That's BS. Women are everywhere -coffee shops, malls, bars, bookstores, concerts, classes, supermarkets, standing in line with you to take the train, waiting in line to get your morning egg sandwhich - they're everywhere. You're just blinding yourself to the opportunities by avoiding cold approaches. I can't count how many times I talk to an elderly couple and the woman would say 'we met at the supermarket' or 'icecream shop' or something of the sort. In her perspective it just happened - in his perspective, he saw her, found her attractive, and consciously made the effort to approach her. I guess I went on a bit there - but yeah, beat it into your head that cold approaches and conversing with new people is THE greatest tool in not only expanding your dating pool, but also is the best way to improve your social skills as whole. I read a quote earlier that I really enjoyed that went along the lines of "For someone to want something they've never had, they must be willing to do something they've never done." 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LeeBrice Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 Face-wise, nothing to worry about. I was a late bloomer too (didn't have my girlfriend or kiss until I was 22). Online dating is what helped me break into the field of dating and 'approaching' women. After I went out on a few dates and got a bit more comfortable, I started going out and doing cold-approaches - which, in my opinion, is the BEST way to learn how to meet women. It teaches you conversation skills, builds your objection-handling skills (you'll never get thrown more interrogation questions than by a pretty girl in a bar), and - most importantly - how to handle rejection, as you'll get shut down ALOT. Why do I suggest doing the cold approach? Because it allows you to feel more comfortable talking to strangers. The whole world can be your dating pool. Just friday night, I was on a plane back from a work trip, and I sat next to a really pretty college girl. Before I got used to approaching girls, I would never in a million years worked the nerve to start talking to her - but immediately as I sat down, I made eye contact, smiled, said hi, and we proceeded to talk for the entirety of the flight. Don't say you never see women around. That's BS. Women are everywhere -coffee shops, malls, bars, bookstores, concerts, classes, supermarkets, standing in line with you to take the train, waiting in line to get your morning egg sandwhich - they're everywhere. You're just blinding yourself to the opportunities by avoiding cold approaches. I can't count how many times I talk to an elderly couple and the woman would say 'we met at the supermarket' or 'icecream shop' or something of the sort. In her perspective it just happened - in his perspective, he saw her, found her attractive, and consciously made the effort to approach her. I guess I went on a bit there - but yeah, beat it into your head that cold approaches and conversing with new people is THE greatest tool in not only expanding your dating pool, but also is the best way to improve your social skills as whole. I read a quote earlier that I really enjoyed that went along the lines of "For someone to want something they've never had, they must be willing to do something they've never done." I tried online dating and had absolutely no success whatsoever. In my opinion, you really need to be stunningly handsome as a man to have any luck at all as you're constantly competing against a huge number of men for 1 girl online. I loathed my online dating experience As far as talking up strangers, I am not necessarily scared off by that. I can talk to most people I encounter and make friends everywhere I go but there is a big difference between just making friends with random people and trying to ask out a cute girl you see at a bar who is with 10 of her friends getting hit on by every guy in the area. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Guy On The Couch Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 my first kiss was at 19, terrible Nothing wrong with getting your first kiss at 19. I think a lot of women would appreciate the fact that you have no baggage as far as relationships go. Knowing in the fact that you were determined early in life to get an education and build a better building block for future relationships. The lack of not having any relationships will more than likely be the last thought on many mature women's minds when seeking you for a potential partner. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kart180 Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 Face-wise, nothing to worry about. I was a late bloomer too (didn't have my girlfriend or kiss until I was 22). Online dating is what helped me break into the field of dating and 'approaching' women. After I went out on a few dates and got a bit more comfortable, I started going out and doing cold-approaches - which, in my opinion, is the BEST way to learn how to meet women. It teaches you conversation skills, builds your objection-handling skills (you'll never get thrown more interrogation questions than by a pretty girl in a bar), and - most importantly - how to handle rejection, as you'll get shut down ALOT. " Tried online dating, no luck. Just some women who want to be their sugar daddy. No dates nothing. Makes me just want to give up but I hate being lonely. Link to post Share on other sites
kart180 Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 As far as talking up strangers, I am not necessarily scared off by that. I can talk to most people I encounter and make friends everywhere I go but there is a big difference between just making friends with random people and trying to ask out a cute girl you see at a bar who is with 10 of her friends getting hit on by every guy in the area. I have the same problem, I can talk to people in general but trying to pick up a women is not my strong point. I turn out to be more of a friend to them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LeeBrice Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 Nothing wrong with getting your first kiss at 19. I think a lot of women would appreciate the fact that you have no baggage as far as relationships go. Knowing in the fact that you were determined early in life to get an education and build a better building block for future relationships. The lack of not having any relationships will more than likely be the last thought on many mature women's minds when seeking you for a potential partner. I can't sit there and say that my lack of dating success is because I have been ferociously dedicated to school/work/etc... Yes I have a college degree and a great job that I'm very happy with but I have had plenty of time for a dating life and have been unable to meet anybody who fancied me. To me it's kind of a cop out and a lame excuse just to blame it on that. My brother in law at my age was making 500K a year as a business owner but still had the time for a great girlfriend that he was crazy about Link to post Share on other sites
Notsure_9 Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 I don't think it would be a red flag. You took the time to get your life in order and are now educated and successful I think that's great. It shows that you care about your future, and these days it's getting hard to find that. Your are a good looking guy don't worry about that. Hope you find what your looking for good luck! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 Long story short - I was fat in high school and it shattered my confidence with women. I've grown up, lost all the extra weight, become educated and successful, have a good amount of friends but I have never had a girlfriend. I just don't meet women at all in my day to day life and I find the cold approach to be incredibly daunting. I sometimes wonder if I will ever have a girlfriend. Would this be a huge red flag if you met somebody like this? Here's a picture of me if you are curious what I look like. Any idea on what I can do to improve my look? http://s30.postimg.org/3y8v0hrap/20140218_184204.jpg Are your standards high like you're only interested in a certain type? Link to post Share on other sites
Author LeeBrice Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 I don't think it would be a red flag. You took the time to get your life in order and are now educated and successful I think that's great. It shows that you care about your future, and these days it's getting hard to find that. Your are a good looking guy don't worry about that. Hope you find what your looking for good luck! Everybody is saying that I'm a good looking guy and that actually kind of shocks me. I figured if i was a good looking guy, wouldn't I have some success on OLD? I had a normal profile and wrote intelligent and thoughtful messages Or is it just the difficulty level is that high where only the top of the top of the top of the top can have any luck on OLD? I wasn't going for supermodels...just normal everyday cute women Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 OLDing can become a huge joke. You need to meet some women out in the real world. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LeeBrice Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 Are your standards high like you're only interested in a certain type? I don't think so. Appearance wise, I would just like somebody somewhere in the same ballpark of attraction as myself. I work out 5 days a week so I would like someone who stays somewhat active as far as other traits go, I like sweet and genuine women. Things like education/job/income don't matter to me as long as her life isn't a trainwreck and she is fairly independant. I'm not asking for a woman who earns the same kind of income I earn Am I really asking for too much? Link to post Share on other sites
LEEVIT2F8 Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 Your fine dude its not a problem until you make it one. You don't have to say anything about your dating past initially. Just gloss it over when it comes up and say I was a real geek in high school and didn't date much. By the time you get into details you already have a girlfriend... Now meeting women is a snap. Its all in YOUR head my friend. Confidence, humor, and ambition will get you further in the game then anything else. But your going to have to talk to them!! Talking to girls is kind of important when looking for a girlfriend, and when I say kind of I mean MANDATORY! So what I want you to do is lift up your skirt find some balls and talk to THREE girls tomorrow. You don't have to get a date or anything. Just flirt with three girls in the world. You can even use pickup lines. You can say its a sociology experiment. It really doesn't matter. You don't even care about getting numbers or dates or kisses or girlfriends or wives none of that crap. Just say something witty and if she responds keep it going. If not then on to the next. Post back here tomorrow with the examples of your approaches. What you said and how it turned out and we can take it from there. But no one can help you in this if you can't talk to girls. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Guy On The Couch Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 Everybody is saying that I'm a good looking guy and that actually kind of shocks me. I figured if i was a good looking guy, wouldn't I have some success on OLD? I had a normal profile and wrote intelligent and thoughtful messages Or is it just the difficulty level is that high where only the top of the top of the top of the top can have any luck on OLD? I wasn't going for supermodels...just normal everyday cute women OLD is just a meat-market and a numbers game. You have to remember most women on there are getting 100+ messages a day. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LeeBrice Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 So what I want you to do is lift up your skirt find some balls and talk to THREE girls tomorrow. You don't have to get a date or anything. Just flirt with three girls in the world. You can even use pickup lines. You can say its a sociology experiment. It really doesn't matter. You don't even care about getting numbers or dates or kisses or girlfriends or wives none of that crap. Just say something witty and if she responds keep it going. If not then on to the next. Approach women where? There has to be some sort of an appropriate set up and situation where I can strike up a conversation and it's not awkward or creepy/makes the girl feel uncomfortable I don't want to be the creepy guy who hits on everybody in sight Link to post Share on other sites
Author LeeBrice Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 OLD is just a meat-market and a numbers game. You have to remember most women on there are getting 100+ messages a day. I kinda figured that. I wonder who the men are who are having success online. They must all be 6'4 male models Link to post Share on other sites
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