Guy On The Couch Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 Your fine dude its not a problem until you make it one. You don't have to say anything about your dating past initially. Just gloss it over when it comes up and say I was a real geek in high school and didn't date much. By the time you get into details you already have a girlfriend... Now meeting women is a snap. Its all in YOUR head my friend. Confidence, humor, and ambition will get you further in the game then anything else. But your going to have to talk to them!! Talking to girls is kind of important when looking for a girlfriend, and when I say kind of I mean MANDATORY! So what I want you to do is lift up your skirt find some balls and talk to THREE girls tomorrow. You don't have to get a date or anything. Just flirt with three girls in the world. You can even use pickup lines. You can say its a sociology experiment. It really doesn't matter. You don't even care about getting numbers or dates or kisses or girlfriends or wives none of that crap. Just say something witty and if she responds keep it going. If not then on to the next. Post back here tomorrow with the examples of your approaches. What you said and how it turned out and we can take it from there. But no one can help you in this if you can't talk to girls. ^^ All of this. And even if a point comes to where you think you will get cold feet in your approach, just keep going and don't back out of your initial approach. It will do quite a bit for your confidence even if you happen to goof up on the first few tries. And yes post back here for us. Link to post Share on other sites
TB Rhine Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 If a fat/ugly guy had posted this thread, he'd be getting savaged right now. Just goes to show good-looking people can get away with anything. My advice: I have a younger brother who's quite a bit better-looking than me - fit, takes care of himself, dresses well, etc. He gets a lot of casual sex (strippers, managers where he works, etc.), but is 24 yrs old and has never had a serious girlfriend. He seems to really want to find a relationship, but he's had a hard time, and he's told me several times that, after he's been seeing a girl for a while, they'll start really pressing with the "Why are you single?" thing. He's literally such a catch that it comes across as all the more strange that he has so little actual relationship experience. All this is my long-winded way of saying: Honestly, I wouldn't bring it up. Your past struggles are your own, and you don't have to justify yourself or provide a complete relationship dossier when you're casually dating someone. Save that stuff for the serious getting to know you chit-chat that (hopefully) comes later on. Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 Approach women where? There has to be some sort of an appropriate set up and situation where I can strike up a conversation and it's not awkward or creepy/makes the girl feel uncomfortable I don't want to be the creepy guy who hits on everybody in sight Coffee shop, supermarket, walking by on the street. Link to post Share on other sites
Guy On The Couch Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 Approach women where? There has to be some sort of an appropriate set up and situation where I can strike up a conversation and it's not awkward or creepy/makes the girl feel uncomfortable I don't want to be the creepy guy who hits on everybody in sight Bro they are everywhere. I will literally flirt at the soda machine if a chick is grabbing a soda. I have even seen a girl getting Dr Pepper and told her "I was the only Dr she needed". And the response I got back was priceless with a number. Practice makes perfect. Even if you have to take baby steps. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 @OP.... Straight to the point, you are an average looking guy, and there is no reason why you should not be with a girl. You do however come across in that pic as sooooooo relax. Looks like you need to lighten up a bit i.e. don't look so serious, and find that confidence to chat women up...... Sometimes you can benefit from people watching to see how an interaction is taking place...body language and all that Link to post Share on other sites
Notsure_9 Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 Approach women where? There has to be some sort of an appropriate set up and situation where I can strike up a conversation and it's not awkward or creepy/makes the girl feel uncomfortable I don't want to be the creepy guy who hits on everybody in sight I would think you could meet women anywhere. Keep in mind I am a women so I don't look to pick them up, but I get approached all the time at the grocery store, department stores etc. I think confidence and humor are a huge thing to me anyway. And it won't be creepy unless you make it creepy so don't do that... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
purplesoccer34 Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 Of course I would! I know someone who had his first girlfriend at 26, and he was a great bf. They lasted a few years and she was crazy about him. Just be yourself and you will definitely find someone who likes you for who you are. Also, you are a good-looking guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LeeBrice Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 Of course I would! I know someone who had his first girlfriend at 26, and he was a great bf. They lasted a few years and she was crazy about him. Just be yourself and you will definitely find someone who likes you for who you are. Also, you are a good-looking guy. Thank you for all the positive words guys I am a happy person in real life but I tend to get very negative about dating. I really need to change that but I just find it so hard to be positive towards dating Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 Thank you for all the positive words guys I am a happy person in real life but I tend to get very negative about dating. I really need to change that but I just find it so hard to be positive towards dating I'm sure that negativity is holding you back. Also people pick up on it, you are going to have to change your attitude about dating. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LeeBrice Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 (edited) I'm sure that negativity is holding you back. Also people pick up on it, you are going to have to change your attitude about dating. I have a very positive attitude in general in life so most people who get to know me tend to like me quite a bit. I try to treat the loved ones in my life as well as I possibly can too My negative attitude towards dating kills all of my confidence. It feels like an absolute war for me to approach a girl in public and I tend to get discouraged very quickly. Any obstacles in the way/any resistance tends to shut me down right away as well Edited February 19, 2014 by LeeBrice Link to post Share on other sites
Notsure_9 Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 I have a very positive attitude in general in life so most people who get to know me tend to like me quite a bit. I try to treat the loved ones in my life as well as I possibly can too My negative attitude towards dating kills all of my confidence. It feels like an absolute war for me to approach a girl in public and I tend to get discouraged very quickly. Any obstacles in the way/any resistance tends to shut me down right away as well I'll tell you confidence is a big thing. I can tell from talking to someone when they have that certain amount of confidence and it does make a difference when your interacting with someone like that rather that someone that looks uncomfortable. Build your confidence don't be afraid to approach and just start a conversation with a women practice never hurt anything...I've heard some crazy stuff and didn't think anything of it so just go for it whats it going to hurt You got this! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 I have a very positive attitude in general in life so most people who get to know me tend to like me quite a bit. I try to treat the loved ones in my life as well as I possibly can too My negative attitude towards dating kills all of my confidence. It feels like an absolute war for me to approach a girl in public and I tend to get discouraged very quickly. Any obstacles in the way/any resistance tends to shut me down right away as well I think you should take the posters advice and approach 3 women tomorrow & report back here! We're here for you! Link to post Share on other sites
Guy On The Couch Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 And remember you don't have to "hunt" for these women. They are everywhere. Just pick 3, kinda like the lotto. And yes please report back to us. We would love to hear how it went, and even tell us about your approaches. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LeeBrice Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 I think you should take the posters advice and approach 3 women tomorrow & report back here! We're here for you! Tomorrow my schedule will be - wake up, go to lunch early with friend and then go to work 12-9. Afterwards, I will go to the gym Where can I approach the 3 girls? The place I go always go to with my friend very rarely has anybody attractive and the idea of approaching a girl eating at a restaurant seems terribly awkward to me. Work is basically a no go unless a girl expresses interest in me first (I don't want to get fired for sexual harassment) and the gym is one of the hardest places to approach as they all wear their headphones - pretty much with the intent of nobody talking to them Maybe this is my negative attitude talking but this stuff is fantastic in theory yet incredibly daunting in practice. The idea of interrupting a girl having lunch with her friend or a girl working out with headphones on at the gym is about as inviting as sticking my head into a pit of piranhas and crocodiles Link to post Share on other sites
Notsure_9 Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 Tomorrow my schedule will be - wake up, go to lunch early with friend and then go to work 12-9. Afterwards, I will go to the gym Where can I approach the 3 girls? The place I go always go to with my friend very rarely has anybody attractive and the idea of approaching a girl eating at a restaurant seems terribly awkward to me. Work is basically a no go unless a girl expresses interest in me first (I don't want to get fired for sexual harassment) and the gym is one of the hardest places to approach as they all wear their headphones - pretty much with the intent of nobody talking to them Maybe this is my negative attitude talking but this stuff is fantastic in theory yet incredibly daunting in practice. The idea of interrupting a girl having lunch with her friend or a girl working out with headphones on at the gym is about as inviting as sticking my head into a pit of piranhas and crocodiles Yes that would be your negative attitude. Just try it and see what happens you don't have to marry them just talk to them like I said just think of it as practice! Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Guy On The Couch Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 Your thinking into it too much. How many women do you see on average per day? Link to post Share on other sites
LEEVIT2F8 Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 I have a very positive attitude in general in life so most people who get to know me tend to like me quite a bit. I try to treat the loved ones in my life as well as I possibly can too My negative attitude towards dating kills all of my confidence. It feels like an absolute war for me to approach a girl in public and I tend to get discouraged very quickly. Any obstacles in the way/any resistance tends to shut me down right away as well Yes your going to suck big time. Yes your going to fail miserably. And you have to realize none of that matters at all. I'm not saying pick three supermodels you wanna make babies with and ride horses off into the sunset. Pick three girls you don't even find super attractive. Hit on some older ladies (just be tactful). Or use BS lines that you never expect to work anyway. The point is stop making excuses and just go do it TOMORROW! Here is a fun one that might get you slapped or laid. You, "I love those pants did you get them on sale?". Her, "Huh? I don't remember why?". You, "Because they are 100% off at my place!!". ROFL Just amuse yourself. A couple weeks ago going into the grocery store a woman cut in front of me wearing a red coat. So I said excuse me do you think you can just cut me in line because your looking so cute in your little red coat? She turned and started to apologize. I cut her off and said oh now just because your pretty your going to bat your eyes at me and everything is okay? She kinda laughed and blushed and it was over. Obstacles are those frightful things we see when we take our eyes off the goal - Henry Ford Link to post Share on other sites
Author LeeBrice Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 Your thinking into it too much. How many women do you see on average per day? a lot but that's irrelevant to me. It's more about how many women are in situations/settings where I can see myself starting a conversation that's not terribly awkward/potentially disastrous Link to post Share on other sites
Author LeeBrice Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 Yes your going to suck big time. Yes your going to fail miserably. And you have to realize none of that matters at all. How does this help me though? How does getting rejected left and right help me become better at dating? Link to post Share on other sites
Guy On The Couch Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 a lot but that's irrelevant to me. It's more about how many women are in situations/settings where I can see myself starting a conversation that's not terribly awkward/potentially disastrous Think of it like this. They Will be awkward. That part is ok to focus on for now, and should be the Only thing you need to worry about. Forget about the Potentially disastrous, that should never enter your mind at this stage. Trust me when I say this. "Have no expectations when first approaching women other than getting acknowledged" Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 Long story short - I was fat in high school and it shattered my confidence with women. I've grown up, lost all the extra weight, become educated and successful, have a good amount of friends but I have never had a girlfriend. I just don't meet women at all in my day to day life and I find the cold approach to be incredibly daunting. I sometimes wonder if I will ever have a girlfriend. Would this be a huge red flag if you met somebody like this? Here's a picture of me if you are curious what I look like. Any idea on what I can do to improve my look? http://s30.postimg.org/3y8v0hrap/20140218_184204.jpg Well, I'm going to be honest with you. It's not about looks. Your looks are fine. But being an inexperienced male at your age (or older) is an uphill climb. It will be a red flag to most women, and a yellow flag to others. Most late bloomers never actually break out of it. It's going to take a concerted effort for you to do so. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LEEVIT2F8 Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 How does this help me though? How does getting rejected left and right help me become better at dating? ::Exasperated Sigh:: Because it will get you used to talking to women without giving them your credit card first! And I'll let you in on a little secret lots of woman hope to get hit on. Even if they aren't interested a nice compliment boosts their ego. Your doing THEM a favor by injecting some fun and maybe a laugh into their lives. So please do three ladies a favor and let them know they are looking good tomorrow. And don't tell me they aren't everywhere. Because we all know they are... Your excuses are your own sir. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 I would not consider it a problem at all Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 I kinda figured that. I wonder who the men are who are having success online. They must all be 6'4 male models OLD isn't all bad. I wasn't overwhelmed with messages at all. I got about 10 a day, which was decent but manageable. Went on a date, liked the guy, and am now with him. I think I was the 3rd girl he went on a date with. The first 2 didn't work for him, but I did. So for him, as a male, it wasn't all bad and worked out fine in the end. So yeah, OLD is not all bad. And if nothing else you can get some dating practice. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 (edited) Assuming he is mature in general despite lack of experience with women, sure, why not? I admit that I would be a little hesitant because I desire a lifelong R, and most people's first R doesn't last in the long term because they aren't sure what they want just yet. However, there are exceptions, and I don't see why I would allow statistics to deter me if I genuinely felt the guy was right for me. My SO has only had one previous gf, if that helps. Edited February 19, 2014 by Elswyth Link to post Share on other sites
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