I cheated on my long distance bf while I was completely intoxicated

[Longdistanceproblems]

So here's the issue I've been dating this guy for just under a year and he ended up moving away to pursue his career. We get along great well were together but I've been finding it really hard having him so far away all the time.

 

Anyways I ended up going out a couple weekends ago with a few of my friends and drank way too much I don't really remember most of the night but I do believe that I ended up cheating on him.

 

Now I don't know what to do I don't know if I should just tell him what happened or at least what I can remember or if I should just keep this to myself. I don't want to hurt him but at the same time I don't feel right not telling him and hiding this from him.

 

Clearly I made a huge mistake but at the same time what happened never meant anything to me and I don't want to lose him over something so meaningless!

 

Please help me decide what I should do at this point.

[Eivuwan]

If you don't tell him, your relationship would be a farce built on lies.

[Longdistanceproblems]

I know and that's the part that's killing me I don't wanna see him hurt and I know alcohol is no excuse but this never would have happened otherwise. He's going through so much right now and I don't think this is going to help one bit

[semicharmedlife]

if you know that it was truly a one time thing...and you feel enough shame that it wont happen again...dont tell...however...if you feel like something is missing in your relationship...and you are not happy with a LDR...end it with him

[SoleMate]

You were so intoxicated you can't even remember whether you had sex and if so, whether it was voluntary? Then go to a sexual assault clinic.

[Space Ritual]

I know and that's the part that's killing me I don't wanna see him hurt and I know alcohol is no excuse but this never would have happened otherwise. He's going through so much right now and I don't think this is going to help one bit

 

Yet with him going through SOOOO much you decided to go ahead and bone somebody else. And in the same breath you state that booze is no excuse but it would have not happened otherwise...Do you see the irony of that? lol

 

Just tell him so he can make his own decisions bout whether he wants to stay in a relationship with you. LDR's take a boatload of trust to begin with without the added component of your actions being the 800 pound elephant in the room.

 

If you have any respect for him at all you will be honest with him and let him make his own choices. Because he will eventually find out. Better to find out from you than from somebody else.

 

Part of being an adult is taking responsibility for our own actions whether they are good or bad. Start acting like an adult.

[Space Ritual]

if you know that it was truly a one time thing...and you feel enough shame that it wont happen again...dont tell...however...if you feel like something is missing in your relationship...and you are not happy with a LDR...end it with him

 

 

Moronic advice.

[twosadthings]

I'm always taken by the line, "it didn't mean anything." If you tell him, and you should, you might find it means all the world to him. Re-evaluate your ability to be in a committed long distance relationship and then have the discussion with him about what you did.

 

Twosadthings

[Cakess]

I've been in a similar situation once and I just admitted it, for my own mental health honestly. I just didn't like lying. I understand that alcohol can make you do some bad decisions, but in the end it's up to you whether you feel like he deserves to know--regardless of consequences.

[gaius]

If you want to break up with him admit it. If you want to stay together keep quiet.

[BeholdtheMan]

I don't wanna face the negative consequences of my actions

 

I don't think this is going to help me one bit

 

Fixed

 

He's going through so much right now and

If he's like the vast majority of guys, he'd want to know. Most guys don't wanna live a lie. It's also presumptuous of you to assume he wouldn't be able to handle the truth

[Sivok]

Well, let me ask you this

 

Have you ever cheated before? Not necessarily in this relationship, but in a previous one?

 

If you have an issue with commitment or the LDR is too hard, then I think it's best to bring up the idea of having an open relationship until you two are close again.

 

Out of respect, I'd definitely tell him.

 

One of my good friends had a similar LDR for a very long time. His girl cheated on him after a really drunk night. She came clean to him, never did it again, he was really hurt but got around to forgiving her.

 

Two years later - they're married.

 

Open communication and trust is extremely important to the longterm success of the relationship - not just communicating what's convenient for you.

[Toddbt12y1]

Tell him. If he breaks up with you, then oh well. He does in fact deserve to know. Why should he have to live a lie? Why should you carry the burden of this lie? No one wins. Cheating is no mistake, surely.

 

He should be allowed to make a choice, much like you did and are now going to make a choice yourself. Sure, there is a good chance he might break up with you; there is a good chance he might not, and might work this out with you.

 

Not telling him, is as selfish as the act of cheating on him. Both are a form of deceit

[peruano99]

You made the choice of getting drunk, you made the choice of having sex with a stranger, now you have to make the choice of accepting responsibilities and telling your boyfriend and let HIM make his choice.