i just feel so bad ;(

[NiCoLe20]

heres something i just need to vent

 

my dad is the money maker of the house. my mom is ur typical housewife- no job or nothing. she does the cooking, cleaning, laundry and everything else. granted, that is like a full time job... but when bills start piling up, that isnt gonna cut it

 

my dad has been retired for 5 yrs and he is STILL working to pay the bills. i just feel sooo bad. if something breaks, or something goes wrong and we need money...my dad is there with it.

 

lately the bills have been getting bad. my mom is just FINALLY realizing she needs to help him out. i have my own good paying job, which im thankful for, so im never asking them for $ and i pay my way....whatever i need i buy...i dontask for help... but i do help around the house and so does my younger sis who's 17.

 

my lil sis got into her 1st car accident today...yup it was her fault.. the damage to the truck is $1600.. so who has to pay? my dad.. i feel awful. my mom said my dad wants to kill himself b/c of all these bills. if he was living alone, he'd be RICH.

 

i just dont know what to do anymore... my house is so tense...everyone is yelling and screaming at each other all the time b/c of all this stress. i want to help.. but im only 20 yrs old and i cant do much. i think ill put in some more $ from my paycheck to help them out... i shouldnt have to do this...i should be saving my money but my mom doesnt work so someone needs to give a little here.

 

im just real sad...and i feel so bad for my dad...he shouldnt be working if he's retired... he never once complained about work...and throughout his whole life and as far as i can remember...he maybe took of 4 days of work...thats impressive...i wish we could win the lottery and get over this rough time..

 

anyone in this same situation? advice/comments are a +

[tattoomytoe]

well, i am living at home again , with both my sisters too, who are 27 and 18.

 

we each help pay bills and buy groceries. everyone in my family works, both my sister are in school. Us girls, we each have cars, and our own payments, credit cards, and both my sisters pay their own tuition.

 

I am still tight on money, and have tons of debt.....it kinda runs in the family.

 

but my parents split the bills, somewhat. my mother pays the mortgage, and as far as i know, my father pays the other household bills.

[mt_joy]

I'm assuming you're an adult. I think you and your sister should pitch in with the bills. Her, not as much, because she's still a minor. Yes, you should be saving your money, but if you're living with your parents, you need to contribute, especially if they are having financial problems. Think of a set amount you can give them and don't be stingy. Help your mom look for work or get a better job. I didn't know if she was actually working now, but with grown children, she shouldn't be the only one taking care of the house. Good luck and take care.

 

Joy

MT Student

[curiousnycgirl]

Your parents made a decision a long time ago to have your mother stay at home, so do not just assume she is bad because she's not contributing. Believe me being a housewife is way more than a full time job. I have to wonder from your post if your father had prepared adequately for retirement - did he retire early? I only ask this because it is not common to retire while you still have a child in high school.

 

I understand the tension you are living under - my parents have similar issues. You don't say why the bills are out of control - is someone spending too much?

 

As far as the car accident goes - hell no!!! Your sister should be paying for that. As far as you saving your money - hey if you are an adult, you need to pay your way - which includes overhead (rent, utilities, etc) - so you need to pitch in.

 

I am not trying to be harsh here, but venting just won't cut it - you folks need to do something proactive! You need to discuss, as a family, how you are all going to handle this, otherwise it will just keep getting worse. My parents were doing this for years (due to their overspending) - and then would come to me to bail them out. I finally sat them down and gave them a serious reality check. They were offended and horrified - and it took them yet another crisis to finally be willing to work out a plan that would keep them solvent - this included my father going back to work after his early retirement!

 

What's not fair, right, or sustainable is continuing as you guys are - the tension will continue to mount - and none of you will be any closer to a solution.

 

Good luck!

[Lil Honey]

First, you are saving money already by not paying rent. Scout around for rent prices in your area. Let's say that rent averages $500 a month. You could budget your income to allow yourself to pay your parents $250 or $300 a month and you would still be saving the difference.

 

Second, does anyone in your family work with a budget? There are tons of sites online to help you get started with one and just as many sites to help with money saving ideas.

 

The first things that I would cut family wide are cell phones, cable/satellite TV, magazine subscriptions, etc. Anything that isn't needed (as opposed to wanted). Break up the credit cards with the highest interest and pay those off first. Be conscious of your energy usage.

 

As far as the accident, if the truck is needed by the family, then your dad may have to pay for the damages, but then your sister should pay him back by getting a part-time job. When my kids got their licenses, we told them that any insurance, gas, tickets, and/or accidents was their responsibility. We told them that if they damaged their vehicle beyond repair, they would just have to find another way around. Being held responsible puts a whole new spin on things.

[MWC_LifeBeginsAt40]

Does your mom want to contribute financially? Would it save her some stress from the household duties? If this is so, maybe the rest of you could draw up a household chores schedule so your mom would have time to pursue a job.

 

And, budgeting is a must, both for you, your sister, and your parents.