uku383 Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 Hey, I just replied to another thread to list some rules that I'm trying to follow when dealing with my wife. I thought to set up a separate thread to see what people think of them, and perhaps post any suggestions for applying / sticking to them. For background, I want her back. Desperately. She wants it to end, and she's quite set on that. I'm aware of the 180 principle. These are fewer points, but I hope helpful. Oh, and I may have added a point or two since the other thread. Of these, doing things to make me happy is the most difficult, most likely because of financial issues and my depression. Anyway, here we go: 1. No manipulating. This includes calling to see how she is, texting photos of our boy so that she'll think I'm great, anything like that. 2. No over-apologising. Say it once and be done with it. 3. Don't argue with anything she says. 4. No talking with her or her family about either my recovery or getting back together. 5. Be on time. Not early, not late, but on time. 6. Do not tell people things in the hope they'll try to influence her. 7. Be polite and calm in all I do. 8. Try to look good. 9. Do things to make me happy. 10. Don't criticise others. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 (edited) Sounds good, brother. I don't think you can possibly go wrong with any of those. Whether you reconcile or not, they will only make everyone happier and better off. Do you have children together? Edited February 19, 2014 by M30USA Link to post Share on other sites
Author uku383 Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 Sounds good, brother. I don't think you can possibly go wrong with any of those. Whether you reconcile or not, they will only make everyone happier and better off. Do you have children together? Thanks mate! The challenge is sticking to them. I might put them on the fridge. We have a four and a half year old boy. She's an awesome mum, but has trouble trusting me. That's her stuff, but still, I've got to stick to Rule 3 unless there's a strong reason not to. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 So what's the current status of your relationship? Separated? If so, for how long and where are you both living? Link to post Share on other sites
Author uku383 Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 Separated since October last year. She's in our house with our son, I'm by myself. it's been pretty hard for me, truth be told. The rules are good, but I'm only just starting to get some traction with them. She's quick to find fault, even though she's being pretty reasonable overall. Totally sucks and I have trouble seeing a positive future, but things are gradually improving for me. How about you? Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 Separated since October last year. She's in our house with our son, I'm by myself. it's been pretty hard for me, truth be told. The rules are good, but I'm only just starting to get some traction with them. She's quick to find fault, even though she's being pretty reasonable overall. Totally sucks and I have trouble seeing a positive future, but things are gradually improving for me. How about you? I'm 2 years post separation, 1.5 years post divorce. We have joint custody with her having domicile. She is the type who never takes responsibility for her actions and never admits fault. There won't be any reconciliation. She will go to her grave, clenching her fists, before she ever admits fault. Link to post Share on other sites
Tom amoss Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 Another point you could add, that I have to remember. Be patient - Patient in your recovery, and with the future.Tom 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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