someonespecial Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 My husband and I separated and he was living with his mom for several weeks. He came over yesterday to see the kids and said he is staying there, that he has every right to stay. We rent the house. We are both on a month to month lease. He does not pay any bills. How do i get him out. He wants to stay to be with the kids and still live a separate life from me. I dont want to pay for anything that helps him out. He did state that he would pay half of the bills while he is there. I still dont want him there. We are suppose to be separated. We separated because he was controlling and emotionally abusive. He says he will not be like that and I can see whoever I want. I really dont think that will happen. Im so mad and upset right now. Do I have any options legally? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 If it's a month to month lease, give the landlord notice that you & the kids are moving, then move. Link to post Share on other sites
Author someonespecial Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 I would love to move but my credit is so bad I dont think I can get another place. I dont have any family around. He does and the fact that he doesnt pay the bills should me i should be able to stay there. I may have the landlord sign a new lease with my name. I think that will allow me to evict him. Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 It's a wonderful life. Such legalism. Link to post Share on other sites
cozycottagelg Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 I would love to move but my credit is so bad I dont think I can get another place. I dont have any family around. He does and the fact that he doesnt pay the bills should me i should be able to stay there. I may have the landlord sign a new lease with my name. I think that will allow me to evict him. I would try to do that. Get his name off of it so you can both move on. There is no reason that he needs to be there. Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 Eviction takes forever. Maybe your current landlord can give you a new smaller place that is technically your's for the next month, and let him keep current place. Can u afford it? If you go that route - keep your mouth shut. Another option - go to the police station. Emotional abuse is against the law. Even without the abuse, I'd feel sort of intimidated if he abandoned the marriage, then suddenly demanded entrance to dwelling without paying. Do you have any evidence of abuse? Other than the abandonment - and forcing himself back into the premises (which must have been disconcerting)? Don't start creating police reports - Judge's see thru that. Just go talk to the police tell them how your feeling. Then - perhaps the moving option is best. Try all options at the same time and see what what the outcome brings. Yas Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 We separated because he was controlling and emotionally abusive. Big alert. He's been playing the 'dominant' guy and now tries to play his muscles to see how far he can get. Whatever you do, get him out of there. And should he, for whatever reason, start lashing out on you/start big and noisy fights, don't hesitate to call the police. I'm pretty sure they won't think twice since there are kids involved. Link to post Share on other sites
Yarrow Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 Eviction takes forever. Maybe your current landlord can give you a new smaller place that is technically your's for the next month, and let him keep current place. Can u afford it? It goes without saying that you need to get a lawyer. Anything you do can be used against you, so you need someone who knows the law to tell you how to make sure you come out of this looking squeaky clean. Having said that, I like this idea. Moving completely elsewhere in your own name is preferable, but if your credit is crap and you don't think you can find another place, but you've been a good tenant and have a good relationship with your landlord, maybe they can move you to another unit (smaller because you have 1 less person now) and he can't play the "it's my home and I should be able to come and go as a please" card. Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 It goes without saying that you need to get a lawyer. Anything you do can be used against you, so you need someone who knows the law to tell you how to make sure you come out of this looking squeaky clean. Having said that, I like this idea. Moving completely elsewhere in your own name is preferable, but if your credit is crap and you don't think you can find another place, but you've been a good tenant and have a good relationship with your landlord, maybe they can move you to another unit (smaller because you have 1 less person now) and he can't play the "it's my home and I should be able to come and go as a please" card. After reading the men's points of view (minus M30USA), I'm very concerned about situation, especially the issues raised by No Limit. If this guy see you "pulling back" - his abusive could escalate at best, or be unpredictable, at worst. That is why you need to act fast (i.e. Red Flag Alert). The one thing I'm not sure about, is your position emotionally with your husband. That is where these things get real dicey. Police can sense this out also. Here's what I mean. On the premises he can manipulate you - give you breadcrumbs of hope, to shut you up. These feelings of hope over-ride the good advice and often the protection the police can give you. So, where are you emotionally? Are you finished with him? If you are done, move swift and fast right now. Get to the police and tell them he pushed his way back in, over powering you. You couldn't stop him, right? Tell the police you are afraid of him. I would be after reading No Limit's post. It is an intimidating backpedeling. If my former husband had pulled that - I would have freaked out (and I don't have kids). YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS! Or the more time goes by, the more "ok" it is. Like I recommend do everything at once. Even if you do get another place - he has demonstrated this domineering behavior, I don't like, at all. Not one bit. I totally missed that part - I was so busy thinking of getting you re-located. I also was WRONG in totally underestimating the seriousness of his conduct and minimized it in my previous post - but No Limit saw and explained what I didn't see. you better take him real seriously. An attorney also - get divorce moving. I hope you said "yes" to that question I posed above. Keeping posting to us. Yas Link to post Share on other sites
Author someonespecial Posted February 20, 2014 Author Share Posted February 20, 2014 I have an apt with an attorney on Monday to see what my options are. I spoke with my landlord. He will not resign a lease with me until my husband is out of the house and he does not have any other properties to lease to me. My husband did tell me last night he only plans to stay for two months until he can get the funds together to get his own place. He started work a week ago. I am emotionally done with him. I have told him that at least five times. We even agreed to a specific date he needed to be out. I don't know if this will work or if it is his way of trying to get back in but it is NOT going to happen. I don't want him anymore. I am adimant about that. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 My husband did tell me last night he only plans to stay for two months until he can get the funds together to get his own place. He started work a week ago. If you believe that then I have a bridge to sell you. Why would he want to move out after 2 months? He is having his cake and eating it at the moment. Why would he voluntarily change that situation? I am not surprised your landlord doesn't want to get involved. If I were a landlord I wouldn't either. Your separation is not his business... all the landlord wants is to get the rent paid with no hassle. If your husband is removed from the rental agreement without leaving the house then it could lead to all sorts of trouble for the landlord. Nobody would willingly get themselves involved in eviction proceedings. Unfortunately I don't really see any option other than moving out yourself. Unless there is ongoing physical or emotional abuse of course, in which case call the police and get a court order to keep him away from you. But if he is behaving himself legally (being annoying, inconsiderate, stingy with bills or smelly is not illegal)... there's not much you can do. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 We even agreed to a specific date he needed to be out. Get that in writing and make sure there's a reliable witness to sign their signature on the bottom. Make your sbtxh accountable. Link to post Share on other sites
lockedoutluv Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 We separated because he was controlling and emotionally abusive. Big alert. He's been playing the 'dominant' guy and now tries to play his muscles to see how far he can get. It really has nothing to do with muscles, it has to do with twisting your mind to get what he wants. You have to be very careful about your own emotions when confronting a controlling partner. They will turn themselves into the victim and do everything in their power to manipulate you and maintain their control over you. Even if he choses to move out, I am certain he will figure out how to maintain his 'emotional hooks' into you and your life. The proper way to combat this is to first identify how he manipulates you, then emotionally prevent his manipulations from working on you. Getting him to stick to a timetable to move out is only the first step, I am sorry to say. Link to post Share on other sites
FnlyFrei Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 Another alternative is to find a women's shelter where you and the kids can stay until he leaves....if the fighting escalates. This is a tough spot that you are in. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts