TxJD79 Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 Ex started dating rebound girl a 1 month after ending our relationship. Rebound girl was polar opposite of me and every other woman ex has dated. He ended things with her over legitimate issues, including the fact that she was a pathological liar. Regardless, it's been over a month since that ended....6 months since we ended. A month ago we exchanged 2 emails re: the anniversary of his brother's passing. very cordial emails. nothing since. Has anyone had any experience in reaching out to a dumper after dumper's rebound relationship is over? Link to post Share on other sites
harrybrown Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 If you are that interested, send an email to meet for coffee. You never know what the response will be, but it is better to try than to always wonder. If the invite is rejected, do the 180 and move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author TxJD79 Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 That's tempting. My concern right now is, how long should I wait? I don't want to seem like I'm pouncing in. Plus, I don't want to be the rebound to his rebound..if that makes any sense. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 It means nothing at all. I would keep moving forward -- if they want a second chance with you, it's their job to let you know. It's not your job to chase him down. And you aren't doing NC correctly if you know this information -- if you were doing NC the right way you wouldn't know if he was dating, single, sick or dead. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author TxJD79 Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 Oh I'm doing NC perfectly actually. Blocked him from all social media etc. The only reason I know this information is that the woman who set us up tells me. I've asked her not to so we'll see if she sticks to that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Never Again Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 "If you have to ask, DON'T". If you were comfortable enough to reach out, regardless of consequences (ie, even if he was dating someone new), then I'd say go for it. When you're at the "whatever" stage, you could reach out to him IF you felt so inclined. But you're not there. You haven't moved forward enough, and you'll be hurt if he rejects you. Also, Simon's right - by knowing this info, you're not NC. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author TxJD79 Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 As I mentioned above, I am NC. A mutual friend who introduced me and the ex told me this info, unprompted. I told her I don't need to know this stuff and she's said she won't tell me anything else. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 It was time to move on five months ago. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TxJD79 Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 Obviously. But if it was that easy, none of us would be on this forum. Link to post Share on other sites
Never Again Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 Meh. Even one of the best known posters on here, Barky, held on for nearly 8 months. It happens. He got his reconciliation too. But he did it the only way you can: you let go and forget. If it happens, awesome, if it doesn't then you're free to find your happiness elsewhere. It's the typical "Swingers" conundrum. You can't do anything to get him back. In fact, anything you do will only make him want to NOT come back. So you don't do anything. You forget. You move on. If he comes back around, it'll be after you've let go completely. Somehow they know not to come back until you've forgotten. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author TxJD79 Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 (edited) A mutual friend introduced me and the ex. That same mutual friend volunteered information about the ex's status etc...yes it's hard to believe and yes I told her I don't need to know this information and I have come to learn that this 'friend' is quite toxic for me. But nonetheless, she's the one that told me about the ex, new girl, how she's the opposite of me, and that they broke up. I'll be more than happy to send you her emails where she told me this information. Edited February 20, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Response to deleted posting redacted. Link to post Share on other sites
AlphaC Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 Ex started dating rebound girl a 1 month after ending our relationship. Rebound girl was polar opposite of me and every other woman ex has dated. He ended things with her over legitimate issues, including the fact that she was a pathological liar. Regardless, it's been over a month since that ended....6 months since we ended.A month ago we exchanged 2 emails re: the anniversary of his brother's passing. very cordial emails. nothing since. Has anyone had any experience in reaching out to a dumper after dumper's rebound relationship is over? 1 Month since the "rebound" ended 1 Month since you exchanged "cordial emails" you wrote this, not me Link to post Share on other sites
Author TxJD79 Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 yes....it's not my fault that he broke up with the rebound around the same time as the anniversary of his brother's passing came up. I didn't time it that way. (and thanks for not admitting you misread everything else in my post and lashed out for no reason). Link to post Share on other sites
Annie767 Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 Unless he absolutely came for you and wanted to reconcile, I would just do my best to forget him and get on with building your own life. My ex has gone back to his ex after being with me for 4 years, how it will work out I don't know.....he will have changed quite a bit. But I don't care if he broke up with her, I'm still going to keep moving onwards and upwards. He made his decision first time around. Good luck!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 As I mentioned above, I am NC. A mutual friend who introduced me and the ex told me this info, unprompted. I told her I don't need to know this stuff and she's said she won't tell me anything else. While I understand that things happen and friends slip up in giving information, you talked to him a month ago. That isn't NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TxJD79 Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 I was NC before...and I was NC since...that's all I'm saying. Link to post Share on other sites
HeartinPain Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 You don't do anything. You stay NC and continue to move on. If he wants you back, then he will reach out to you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author TxJD79 Posted February 20, 2014 Author Share Posted February 20, 2014 Thank you everyone. I know you're all right about continuing with NC. Thanks again. Link to post Share on other sites
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