RinLavi Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 My girlfriend wants to get a job as a webcam model. She says that she would not show them her body sexualy and she wants my to trust her on that but i can't get over that she would show her self to other man than my. I told her that i don't like it but its decision for her to make. what do you think i should do if she decides to take that job ? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 You have to do whatever you think is best. There are arguments to be made on both sides but you have to acknowledge that it's her decision. If she decides to do it & you can't stand it, bail. Don't try to force her to make a decision to make you happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RinLavi Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 So you say that i should accept it or just break up ? Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 she wants the money, be nice to her about it Link to post Share on other sites
Author RinLavi Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 But the thing is that i could not look at her like before because she would not be my girl she would be everyone's that pay girl that is what's bothering my Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 So you say that i should accept it or just break up ? You have choices: 1. accept it 2. get her another job that pays just as well 3. wait to see what she does 4. break up She gets to make decisions for herself but decisions have consequences. You can't tell her what to do. She's not 6. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 the work dries up at some point, age, new other faces, it is better than a lot of other jobs moneywise, be she needs a proper career at some point Link to post Share on other sites
Author RinLavi Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 But i'm afraid that i could not by in a relationship with her anymore if she takes the job and that's just killing my Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 If she knows that you don't like the idea but takes the job anyway, that says an awful lot about how much she values you and how important your feels are to her. The only thing is it might not be as bad as your envisioning. I wouldn't break up with her in advance but see what the modeling entails. Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 Let her take the web cam job. It's not up to you to make that decision for her. If it bothers you, that's totally your own issue, not hers. Your self confidence and insecurity and jealousy are your issues that you need to fix. You do not own your girlfriend, she is not an object. It really irritates me when I see men talk about their girlfriends or wives the way you do. The only person that you're allowed to control is you. You have no right to put conditions or demands on your girlfriend about this web cam modeling job, or about anything. If you do, than you have some serious anger/control issues. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RinLavi Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 Thanks for your advice's i'll take that in mind Link to post Share on other sites
Author RinLavi Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 writergal i don't wont a whore for a girlfriend that's why i talk like that and i think that webcam model job is selling your body online Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 writergal i don't wont a whore for a girlfriend that's why i talk like that and i think that webcam model job is selling your body online You get to feel the way you do. However, as writergal pointed out, just because you feel that this job makes your GF a whore doesn't mean that she is or that you get to stop her from making a choice about how she wants to earn a living. You remain free to go off & date someone else but she gets to take this job if that's what she wants. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RinLavi Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 So i made a decision if she takes the job i will go to that page and see what she's doing and if i wont like it i'll tel her that she has to choose my or money Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 So i made a decision if she takes the job i will go to that page and see what she's doing and if i wont like it i'll tel her that she has to choose my or money OK. Just understand you are giving her an ultimatum, which you are absolutely allowed to do. Be prepared when she picks the job. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RinLavi Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 For as match as i know her i can tell that she'll pick my but if not well than i'll just go on with my life Link to post Share on other sites
almond Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 OP - your girlfriend says she is not going to pose sexually, but I'd hazard a guess that she's lying. I highly doubt that men will pay her to sit there and have friendly webcam chats. Let her take the web cam job. It's not up to you to make that decision for her. If it bothers you, that's totally your own issue, not hers. Your self confidence and insecurity and jealousy are your issues that you need to fix. You do not own your girlfriend, she is not an object. It really irritates me when I see men talk about their girlfriends or wives the way you do. The only person that you're allowed to control is you. You have no right to put conditions or demands on your girlfriend about this web cam modeling job, or about anything. If you do, than you have some serious anger/control issues. And it really irritates me when I see posters attacked and called insecure, controlling and jealous over things like this. If he is uncomfortable with this, then he is well within his rights to express that, and end the relationship if he so chooses. Having an issue with your girlfriend posing naked online for strangers, likely performing live acts of a sexual nature, is hardly unreasonable. Some people are more liberal when it comes to such things, but that is absolutely no reason to insult someone as you have done. I wouldn't be happy if my boyfriend decided that he wanted to jerk it on camera for money. This hardly means I am insecure or jealous, it simply means that I am not comfortable with such behaviour. There are many potential issues that may arise from appearing on such websites. Future repercussions (employment, social), emotional strain/damage etc. etc. This is not a wise career choice in my eyes for many reasons, and if my partner decided to go ahead with something like this, I would end the relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 Plenty of web cam models aren't porn stars. And that's not the real issue here. The real issue here is that the OP wants to put demands and conditions on his girlfriend because he doesn't approve of her job-choice. Guess what? In the real world, couples who respect each other, support each other's job choices. The OP has no right to dictate what kind of job his girlfriend chooses to do. She could become a porn star if she wants to. But that's HER choice. Not HIS. I really think the OP should just dump his girlfriend right now b/c I can see him trying to control what clothes she wears, how much money she spends, what food she eats, who she socializes with and for how long. The OP doesn't trust his girlfriend because he's insecure about himself. If he wasn't, he would support her web cam model job choice. This isn't the dark ages. Women are allowed to choose what they want to do with their life. If the man they're in a romantic relationship can't handle their girlfriend's choices, he's not the right man for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 How old are you...? Or are you just typing on a really bad phone? Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 Elswyth, I'm old enough not to put up with such chauvinist behavior from a boyfriend. If the OP's girlfriend wants to do porn, work in a zoo, model at car shows, work in a movie theater selling tickets it should be up to her. Anyway, it sounds like the OP's already decided he's going to break up with her if she goes forward being a web cam model so there's nothing left to say. If you want to insult my views, start a new thread. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 Elswyth, I'm old enough not to put up with such chauvinist behavior from a boyfriend. If the OP's girlfriend wants to do porn, work in a zoo, model at car shows, work in a movie theater selling tickets it should be up to her. Anyway, it sounds like the OP's already decided he's going to break up with her if she goes forward being a web cam model so there's nothing left to say. If you want to insult my views, start a new thread. My post was directed at the OP. He perpetually says 'my' instead of 'me', for pete's sakes. That's a 5 year old mistake. Why would you even think I was posting to you when I hadn't quoted or mentioned you? I could have made it explicit that I was talking to the OP, of course, my bad, but isn't it usually normal to assume that posts with no names or quotes are directed to the OP, not you? Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 My post was directed at the OP. He perpetually says 'my' instead of 'me', for pete's sakes. That's a 5 year old mistake. Why would you even think I was posting to you when I hadn't quoted or mentioned you? I could have made it explicit that I was talking to the OP, of course, my bad, but isn't it usually normal to assume that posts with no names or quotes are directed to the OP, not you? Because you didn't reference the OP, as in, "OP how old are you?" I just assumed. My bad. Link to post Share on other sites
almond Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 Elswyth, I'm old enough not to put up with such chauvinist behavior from a boyfriend. If the OP's girlfriend wants to do porn, work in a zoo, model at car shows, work in a movie theater selling tickets it should be up to her So you're saying that if a man's girlfriend decides to do porn, then he's chauvinistic, controlling, insecure and jealous if he tells her that he will leave if she goes through with it? Lol. Goodness. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 Plenty of web cam models aren't porn stars. And that's not the real issue here. The real issue here is that the OP wants to put demands and conditions on his girlfriend because he doesn't approve of her job-choice. Guess what? In the real world, couples who respect each other, support each other's job choices. The OP has no right to dictate what kind of job his girlfriend chooses to do. She could become a porn star if she wants to. But that's HER choice. Not HIS. I really think the OP should just dump his girlfriend right now b/c I can see him trying to control what clothes she wears, how much money she spends, what food she eats, who she socializes with and for how long. The OP doesn't trust his girlfriend because he's insecure about himself. If he wasn't, he would support her web cam model job choice. This isn't the dark ages. Women are allowed to choose what they want to do with their life. If the man they're in a romantic relationship can't handle their girlfriend's choices, he's not the right man for her. The guy is saying that his girlfriend wants to do nude web cam modeling. He isn't happy about other guys seeing her naked and isn't happy about it. It bothers him about it and you already have this guy making unrealistic demands on her that the next thing he's going to do is be telling her what to eat and how to dress, what time to go to sleep. How the hell do you know? Just because he doesn't want other guys seeing her naked is pretty much the normal response you would get from 99% of all guys and for good reason. It's obvious that he cares about her a great deal, maybe even loves her and doesn't want to share her with anyone and by doing nude modeling, is pretty much that. RinLavi it comes down to this. If your not happy about it you can beg and complain until the cows come home. You have the choice to either stay or go. Maybe she will listen to you but you can bet that the subject will come back up again in the future so be prepared. If your not happy then move on and find a girl that matches your values. You can't force her to stop and she can't force you to stay. Link to post Share on other sites
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