Ex contact what does she want ?

[Dante72]

My ex and I broke up last November after a short but very enjoyable relationship, that started as friends. Main reason for the breakup was confusion about feelings, and what we both wanted. She has had very bad luck relationship wise, and I don't think she believes she deserves a good loving relationship. She did have feelings for me, she told mutual friends that much. Unfortunately when I voiced how I felt, everything went bad. We decided that it wasn't going to work and it got a bit nasty. So we have had some contact off and on, mostly little things, how's kids etc both of us are divorced. So after about six weeks of no contact last week she texts me out of the blue about her car. We exchanged a few texts that was it, just general stuff. Then this Sunday morning another text, that night we exchanged texts till 1am, nothing deep, but it it did get a bit more personal. She was saying things like " you no me better than most people" " you do know I'm really a nice person". I told her at the end that I enjoyed texting with her, but found it all a bit odd after so long with no contact ? Her response was "I was nervous all night and I couldn't sit still, but I enjoyed it also."

So now I don't know if she just wants to reconnect as just friends, or does she want something more ?

I still care about her very much, but I'm not sure I want to have a romantic relationship with her again.

Any insight or advice will be appreciated.

Thank you.

[StrongLass]

Sounds like she was feeling out what you think about her/ reminiscing. Those who feel strongly about wanting something more say so instead of occasionally reaching out merely to test the waters.

 

She might recognize on some level a relationship with you could be good for her but that doesn't mean she knows what to do about it or truly wants to make it work.

 

If she's as dysfunctional as she sounds when it comes to personal relationships though I wouldn't consider opening that door again. Responding to disclosure of heartfelt personal feelings with verbal abuse = toxic setup no matter how many times you wish otherwise.

Edited February 20, 2014 by StrongLass

[Dante72]

Thank You for your response.

Yes she may be just testing the waters, or maybe she is just really clueless to others feelings ? I would like to keep that door closed, but she always seems to knock when I'm ready to lock it !

I did ask her straight out, why after six weeks of no contact, you are back in my life like nothing ever happened ? No response from her, and honestly I don't expect one, so in limbo I guess that part will stay. The not knowing is the worse part though, silence abuse ?

Again Thank you for the help take care.