KaliKatherine Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 I discovered that my stbx husband put his wedding band inside a jewelry box he'd sent back to me with some of my other jewelry. This would mean he stopped wearing it shortly after I filed for divorce. In contrast, it took me about 2 months after filing to stop wearing my band...Even though I was the one to initiate the divorce, I've had a very hard time detaching emotionally. No infidelity on my end and as far as I am aware, none on his end although he would have had ample opportunity (business trips). We also have 2 young daughters which makes it more heartbreaking. Needless to say, finding his band thrown in with everything else was a bit of help in the detachment department! So this got me wondering,ladies and gentlemen... 1) how long after filing for divorce did it take for you to stop wearing your wedding band? 2) did you or the other spouse initiate the divorce, or was it mutual? 3) what did you decide to do with your wedding band? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 So this got me wondering,ladies and gentlemen... 1) how long after filing for divorce did it take for you to stop wearing your wedding band? I wore mine until a few months before our D was final. No particular reason; it was something I had gotten used to over a decade. Being a blue collar guy, I didn't wear jewelry every day other than my wedding band. 2) did you or the other spouse initiate the divorce, or was it mutual? Mutual and generally amicable. 3) what did you decide to do with your wedding band? It's still in my jewelry box, along with a couple other rings my exW bought for me while we were married. I wear the other rings but the plain gold band remains where I put it nearly four years ago. I guess everyone's different but to me it would feel odd sending my wedding band to an ex-spouse. Same if she sent back the wedding ring set I bought her. As I see, it, we can respect those symbols for what they were, a sign of the love we had at the time. Life goes on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 both my sisters initiated their divorces, and I imagine they didn't wear their bands much longer after the D's came through. I do know that they put them aside in their jewelry boxes to give to their kids when they got older; I think my one nephew wears his mom's wedding band on a chain around his neck, while another one was given his mom's engagement rent to use the diamond in his fiancés's ring. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KaliKatherine Posted February 20, 2014 Author Share Posted February 20, 2014 I think sending the band back to me without mentioning it was some kind of passive-aggressive play....trying not to dwell on it too much. He never wore it much to begin with. This didn't bother me, although I imagine most women would have found this problematic. Link to post Share on other sites
Yarrow Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 At least your husband sent you your jewelry. Mine would have kept any of my valuables out of spite. He kept "forgetting" to wear his wedding band when we went out, or especially when he went on business trips. Then he left me, but said he'd be back if he changed his mind and the grass didn't turn out to be greener after all. I had to keep wearing mine for a month or so while I got my stuff organized to file. Took my ring off as soon as the papers were in. It's a good diamond. The band has some little stones on it too. I have this fantasy that I'll have it all reset into a necklace or something when I have some extra time and money. But in all likelihood, it will probably just end up moldering in some safety deposit box somewhere. Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 So this got me wondering,ladies and gentlemen... 1) how long after filing for divorce did it take for you to stop wearing your wedding band? 2) did you or the other spouse initiate the divorce, or was it mutual? 3) what did you decide to do with your wedding band? 1) I waited until the divorce was final, took it off after I read the last line of the papers 2) She initiated 3) I still have it, it's buried away in a closet with the other reminders of our time together. TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
trippi1432 Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 So this got me wondering,ladies and gentlemen... 1) how long after filing for divorce did it take for you to stop wearing your wedding band? 2) did you or the other spouse initiate the divorce, or was it mutual? 3) what did you decide to do with your wedding band? 1) Gave him the ring back after he left the second time. He sold the rings for $40 and went gambling at a Sweeps hole in the wall. 2) I initiated the divorce after he moved in straight away with another woman. 3) Already stated in #1....had enough bad memories lingering around. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 My ring came off the day after I discovered her affair, which is how long it took to decide that I didn't want to fix the marriage. That was 3 months before I could legally file for divorce. I sent it to a REPUTABLE cash 4 gold service (not one of the ones that rip you off) and got a pretty good price for it. Link to post Share on other sites
iris219 Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 My fiancé stopped wearing his nearly a year before his ex wife actually moved out. The divorce was mutual, but precipitated by some inappropriate behavior on her part. He has no idea where his ring is. Link to post Share on other sites
MsOptimist Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 I took mine off about a week after we separated, which was about 4 months before he filed and about 7 months before it was finalized. He was already looking to date and hook up immediately when we separated so that vow was broken at that point. It felt silly to keep wearing my rings when he was already abusing our vows. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 So this got me wondering,ladies and gentlemen... 1) how long after filing for divorce did it take for you to stop wearing your wedding band? I put mind away before the divorce. 2) did you or the other spouse initiate the divorce, or was it mutual? He did because I wouldn't come back. 3) what did you decide to do with your wedding band? Pawn it. Link to post Share on other sites
TheBladeRunner Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 3) what did you decide to do with your wedding band? Unlike in the Lord of the Rings........I had no Mt. Doom to throw the "ring" in......the precious . I took mine to the train tracks and let the locomotive do the rest 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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