I Hate My Ring

[samsungxoxo]

I would just be happy he proposed, that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Not many women get that chance nor even get close to a proposal. Nowadays, many get stuck at perpetual live-in gf (unless the woman is happy and doesn't want marriage ok but most of the times that's not the case) stage where their men keep on promising things and saying how they'll ''one day'' marry but it either never happens or they get an insincere, forced proposal which is just as bad too (I would say worse because it's telling me that he wouldn't have done it on his own). Too many men in regards to this and few actually do it sincerely.

 

The OP already has what many of us don't. If you need to say something about the ring, it should only be if it doesn't fits you or because it's too big. They can fix that but saying ''It's because I don't like it'', it can hurt his feelings because after all I'm assuming it takes a man a lot to get towards that stage of proposing without the woman even having to nag him about it nor remind him.

Edited February 21, 2014 by samsungxoxo

[bubbaganoosh]

I would never do that. If I am shelling out thousands on ANYTHING I do my research first cause I wanna make darn sure you like it. That's the first thing. I have common sense.

 

Even if my feelings were slightly hurt I'd get over it and further you keep making it seem like if you don't like something you are required to be an ASS about it, when there are very tactful ways to convey the sentiment.

 

I am not stupid. I would not surprise someone with an expensive gift without knowing beforehand if they'd like it. That saves me time and money and them the awkwardness of having to say they don't like it or worse pretend. If for some reason I did though, unless they acted rudely and threw a tantrum and threw the jewelry at me and said "what kind of ugly shyt is this?!" I'd not feel too bad. Maybe disappointed a tad but them liking the gift is more important and I'd have no problems getting something they like. Gift giving for me is about the recipient and their enjoyment. I would hate to think they only pretended for my sake. It's not about me. It's about them so I would get over whatever ego blow at my bad taste or whatever it is.

 

I find it very telling and strange that someone buys a gift for someone and is only worried about their own feelings and seems to not care at all whether the person likes it.... That is so frickin odd to me. Like how is it about your feelings? Again it's one thing if the person acts rude or ungratefully, that would make ANYONE feel bad, but adults understand that people have preferences and someone can love you/appreciate a gesture and dislike the thing without it being personal. You're not a child who should be coddled and where your mom pretends to like something to make you feel good. Kids are self-centered as a rule so them taking your dislike personally is one thing, but if you're an adult giving a gift, it shouldn't be about you and you shouldn't require the same sort of "Yes dear, I love it" if someone doesn't. If they suggest nicely they exchange it for something else while thanking you for the gift, then I think one very immature to take this as a personal offense.

 

Well, I guess I got lucky when I bought all those rings for my ex wife. Maybe I had good taste. Only regret was spending all that money on her. My bad.

[newmoon]

I'm engaged! My bf surprised me last night! It was perfect! :love:

 

Except that I despise the ring. It's hideous. Not my style AT ALL. Luckily, it's too big and I can't wear it right now anyway.

 

Ladies, what would you do? Guys, would it hurt your feelings if your fiancé said she'd rather have a different ring?

 

 

this is why from the time you start dating forward you bombard him with pictures and images of what you want and what you like so when the time comes he's on the same page. I got a ring (not engagement) on valentine's day; it was the right size and PERFECT. I gushed like crazy because he now knows the right size and style and cut. no chance he'd get it wrong. don't leave it chance - guys do very well with visual images. guess it's too late, but I'd speak up.. ask if there is a way to return/exchange it and get what you bloody well want. geesh, why suffer, lol. also indicates he doesn't know your taste(s) very well... imo

[soccerrprp]

this is why from the time you start dating forward you bombard him with pictures and images of what you want and what you like so when the time comes he's on the same page. I got a ring (not engagement) on valentine's day; it was the right size and PERFECT. I gushed like crazy because he now knows the right size and style and cut. no chance he'd get it wrong. don't leave it chance - guys do very well with visual images.

 

Exactly what my gf did. Chances of me effing things up is close to nil. I really appreciate(d) this. In two weeks, I am going to look at rings that are being sold three hours from where she lives and where I am visiting. She's coming with me to the city where it is, but I haven't decided whether I want to have her come with me to see the rings. I want an element of surprise (too late ), but also want a more solid idea of what she likes as she's looking at the rings. I may not buy any of the rings there, but it will be helpful.

 

Oh, hell, I'll just have her look at them with me.

[MissBee]

this is why from the time you start dating forward you bombard him with pictures and images of what you want and what you like so when the time comes he's on the same page. I got a ring (not engagement) on valentine's day; it was the right size and PERFECT. I gushed like crazy because he now knows the right size and style and cut. no chance he'd get it wrong. don't leave it chance - guys do very well with visual images. guess it's too late, but I'd speak up.. ask if there is a way to return/exchange it and get what you bloody well want. geesh, why suffer, lol. also indicates he doesn't know your taste(s) very well... imo

 

Well I don't think as you start dating you should, but certainly when things become serious and you've had the marriage talk (which you should before any engagement even comes up) then you definitely want to start pointing out rings you like. I have an entire dream wedding board on Pinterest so that should be easy enough for any potential fiance of mine to check out to gauge my taste lol. So funny, but I was at a jewelry store to get my watch resized and they had some GORGEOUS engagement rings, I said hmm why not try em out while I wait. So I tried one and fell head over heels in love, took a picture of it on my fingers and now have it saved to my email as "THE RING" I would want. I also sent a picture of it to my sister with the note that if and when my future husband (who would be smart and do his research) should ever ask your opinion on a ring for me, please direct him to this picture. I'm not even kidding.

[iris219]

There's no way I'd bombard someone with pictures of rings!

 

Not only would I not do it, I couldn't do it because I don't think about those sorts of things. I've never cared about having a wedding. Weddings and rings and pictures of these things are just not anything I'm into.

 

I didn't even know what kind of ring I wanted because I had never thought seriously about it--though I knew what I didn't want when I saw it!

 

I love that my FI was able to surprise me. When we went to get the ring sized, I picked out a different one and I love it. Now, I have to wait to 2 weeks to wear it while they size it.

 

If the ring "issue" is the biggest problem we have in our marriage, I think we'll be OK.

[xxoo]

Congrats! Sounds like you solved the problem well together. Wonderful start to your marital success

[Shepp]

Congratulations on the engagement and on sorting out the ring!

 

 

I'm looking at rings at the moment, It's a big deal cause I really want her to like it - but if she didn't, I wouldn't be hurt, the whole reason I want it to be perfect is because I want her to be happy - so if she's not happy with it, we'll just change it!

 

If a guy couldnt deal with his girlfriend being honest with him then maybe they shouldn't be getting engaged!

[kiss_andmakeup]

It's hard to put myself in your shoes because I was so ecstatic about getting engaged that he could have handed me a plastic ring and I would have fallen in love with it.

 

I lucked out in that he picked something perfect for me without any help, but even if he hadn't, I don't think I would have cared. I'm not saying it's right or wrong to care - just that it was never even remotely a priority for me.

 

I'm glad you and your fiancé got this worked out.

[mercuryshadow]

Congrats!

I'd have a hard time, too, if my FI had proposed with a yellow gold ring. If you like the style of the ring, perhaps you could ask the jeweler if it would be possible to have it dipped (to make it white gold?)

[MissBee]

There's no way I'd bombard someone with pictures of rings!

 

Not only would I not do it, I couldn't do it because I don't think about those sorts of things. I've never cared about having a wedding. Weddings and rings and pictures of these things are just not anything I'm into.

 

I didn't even know what kind of ring I wanted because I had never thought seriously about it--though I knew what I didn't want when I saw it!

 

I love that my FI was able to surprise me. When we went to get the ring sized, I picked out a different one and I love it. Now, I have to wait to 2 weeks to wear it while they size it.

 

If the ring "issue" is the biggest problem we have in our marriage, I think we'll be OK.

 

I would never "bombard" someone with pictures of rings, but I do care about having a ring I like, so if I'm in a relationship that is headed in that direction then there are subtle ways to let someone know or if they ask you point blank, which I'd prefer, then I'd direct them.

[pink_sugar]

The problem with the ring is that it's yellow gold, which I don't like and never wear. Also, it's too big. I have thin fingers and it overwhelms my hand. I prefer small, delicate pieces. The ring I'd want would be cheaper. It doesn't really look like an engagement ring. It looks like old lady costume jewelry.

 

Carhill, I don't think it's going to be as simple as changing the setting.

 

Taramaiden, His family doesn't know yet. We are going to surprise them with the announcement in a few weeks.

 

I want to be happy with the ring. This is my first and (hopefully!) last engagement, so I want to love the ring. I want it to represent my style.

 

Hi OP, I don't care for yellow gold either. This is a tough situation, but since this is a ring you will always wear, it is important you find a way to approach him gently about it. Such as starting out with, "Honey, I am so happy to be engaged to you and I appreciate your thoughts and effort into choosing a ring, however I am a white gold kind of girl and I really do think a white gold setting would go best with my skin color. How about we go and choose rings together?"

[pink_sugar]

There's no way I'd bombard someone with pictures of rings!

 

Not only would I not do it, I couldn't do it because I don't think about those sorts of things. I've never cared about having a wedding. Weddings and rings and pictures of these things are just not anything I'm into.

 

I didn't even know what kind of ring I wanted because I had never thought seriously about it--though I knew what I didn't want when I saw it!

 

I love that my FI was able to surprise me. When we went to get the ring sized, I picked out a different one and I love it. Now, I have to wait to 2 weeks to wear it while they size it.

 

If the ring "issue" is the biggest problem we have in our marriage, I think we'll be OK.

 

Just saw this...glad you got it resolved!

[SunnySide0418]

I'm curious why he didn't know what your style and preference was???

[iris219]

I'm curious why he didn't know what your style and preference was???

 

I'm not sure. Maybe because I rarely wear jewelry.

 

He also wanted to make sure he got me something unique.

[desperategirl]

I think you should tell him: goes both ways, if hes offended your don't like it, your also offended because he doesn't know your taste! But you should be nice about it, like about how your dainty hands need a smaller ring etc. also, you can say you always dreamed of a white gold/platinmum wedding ring, and it won't match woth yellow gold.