Author moving2fast Posted February 27, 2014 Author Share Posted February 27, 2014 He is wonderful, much more than a girl like me deserves. I would rather be with him than back to my old ways. I feel happiness and as safe as I've ever been around him. I really don't think many other people would be as understanding and supportive as he is. Before most people I was involved with didn't care about much but one thing, they didn't want me to seek and were fine with all the bad stuff I was doing. It is really hard right now when I see how pain I'm causing my bf. I want to be as good for him as he is to me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kate9292 Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 See my signature. Looks like you found a guy that can handle you even at your worst. I think he deserves the best of you. Cherish him, let him know he makes you happy and you feel loved by him, work his ego a bit. He should be very pleased that he makes you happy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 Here's the deal. You cheated on him. He's hurt and heartbroken. He's going on this emotional rollercoaster. One minute he's laughing, the next minute he's crying. One minute he's happy, the next minute he's angry as hell. One minute he couldn't see a life without you in it, the next minute he can't stand to look at you. This emotional roller coaster is a real thing and no one know how long he's going to ride this thing or when it ends. Question is, are you strong enough to ride it with him? The biggest mistake you made when calling this guy while your boyfriend was there was to ask him why he sent it. WHO GIVES A RATS ASS! He sent it and it was inappropriate. By you asking "why" showed your boyfriend that you were showing a personal interest into understanding this guys motives. That you had some sort of interest. The relationship you once had with your boyfriend is gone. It's never coming back. He might gain some trust back with you, but you will NEVER have that blind trust for you that he once had. THAT'S never coming back. You've permanently changed the dynamic of your relationship. The problem now is finding some common ground. Link to post Share on other sites
Author moving2fast Posted February 27, 2014 Author Share Posted February 27, 2014 @Kate9292, thank you. I will be sure to let him know how loved I feel by him as well as happy to have him. Here's the deal. You cheated on him. He's hurt and heartbroken. He's going on this emotional rollercoaster. One minute he's laughing, the next minute he's crying. One minute he's happy, the next minute he's angry as hell. One minute he couldn't see a life without you in it, the next minute he can't stand to look at you. This emotional roller coaster is a real thing and no one know how long he's going to ride this thing or when it ends. Question is, are you strong enough to ride it with him? The biggest mistake you made when calling this guy while your boyfriend was there was to ask him why he sent it. WHO GIVES A RATS ASS! He sent it and it was inappropriate. By you asking "why" showed your boyfriend that you were showing a personal interest into understanding this guys motives. That you had some sort of interest. The relationship you once had with your boyfriend is gone. It's never coming back. He might gain some trust back with you, but you will NEVER have that blind trust for you that he once had. THAT'S never coming back. You've permanently changed the dynamic of your relationship. The problem now is finding some common ground. I am willing to do whatever it takes. I really just wish I could go back in time and do things differently. I know that my bf needs time to get over what I did, I am so very sorry. I asked the guy why he sent that package because it was just really messing with my mind, it upset me( because the toy just affirms that's all I'm good for) and it was setting off this part of my mind that just makes it hard to think clearly because its stuck on sex. I was upset that he sent me anything, he knows I have a bf and I never liked for him to buy me things because he has a family. I was a bit angry when I asked, I wasn't interested. Why would he do that when we haven't spoken in weeks, its like he was purposely trying to set me back/ cause a break up. I know none of that matters now, I wasn't thinking clearly and was worse after the call which really made my bf upset. I understand, I really messed things up. I don't even think it would as bad right now if I cheated with just random people because he knows how I am around people. I know we'll never be what we were and that hurts so much. It's my fault. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
giblesp Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 Sorry for being so direct but you have been selfish and needy. Until you can commit to someone you will always be causing pain. Let you're BF go as he deserves better. Work on yourself and know when you are ready to commit to someone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author moving2fast Posted February 28, 2014 Author Share Posted February 28, 2014 Sorry for being so direct but you have been selfish and needy. Until you can commit to someone you will always be causing pain. Let you're BF go as he deserves better. Work on yourself and know when you are ready to commit to someone. No worries, I know I am very needy and selfish. I am working on it, I have been through a lot with no one to depend on. So I do tend to put my needs before others. I realize it is not the way to be a relationship that's actually decent. I have asked if he wanted to leave, I don't want him to go. I want him happy, but I let him know he's not obligated to do anything for me and could break up if he wants. He has chosen to stay. I know he deserves better. I do not want a relationship with anyone else. I didn't initially approach the relationship correctly, I saw it like the others, meaningless and that he was only interested in one thing. I wasn't expecting someone to actually care about me, not. just if I'll be able to met and do whatever, but actually care and want me to be alive and well. I wasn't ready, I did stupid things, I didn't care about much of anything. I want things, I do care about what is going to happen now. I love him, I want us to be together. That also may be selfish, I know it is, but for now he wants me too so I am doing what I can. I know my issues need to be addressed, I am doing what I can. I know I have a problem controlling sexual urges, so I excuse myself when possible and avoid situations that I know would lead to trouble. I see a therapist, we have goals we're working towards and I let my bf know what's going on. He has been so helpful if not for him setting down certain rules I wouldn't have thought to take this step( therapy) even though it was suggested on this board. Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted March 2, 2014 Share Posted March 2, 2014 Rome wasn't built in a day. Keep fighting, your not doing this because someone demands it, your doing this because you love someone and you want to keep them in your life. Your not even doing this for them but because of them. You have great inspiration to fix the things that make you a square peg in a round hole, don't give up girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Author moving2fast Posted March 2, 2014 Author Share Posted March 2, 2014 Thank you aliveagain, I'm not giving up, there's just so much to be done. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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