Monique Posted April 2, 1999 Share Posted April 2, 1999 I am in love with a wonderful man...great father, faithful, extremely caring and has similar goals for his life as I do. Then what is the problem? ... he is absolutely boring!!! We never go anywhere because he claims money problems or no time but this has been for 3 years. We have a nonexisting sex life because I refuse to have sex with him because I am not enjoying it. Nothing has changed no matter how much we talk, discuss and share feelings or try new and kinky things. I want to end the relationship, but is that worth losing the kind of man most women only dream of having...a good man and father? Link to post Share on other sites
Christie Posted April 3, 1999 Share Posted April 3, 1999 Yes, life should be much more exciting than what you have described...especially when it comes to romance, which you don't seem to have. Link to post Share on other sites
heather Posted April 3, 1999 Share Posted April 3, 1999 Yes, life should be much more exciting than what you have described...especially when it comes to romance, which you don't seem to have. Romance is a great thing, but you said you have similar interests and goals. You also have children, who shouldn't be forgotten in such a selfish way. Romance can work with anyone YOU want it to. Pull it together and make a happy home for your children. The rest will fall into place. Don't do something you will regret in a short time to come. Link to post Share on other sites
Ryan Posted April 4, 1999 Share Posted April 4, 1999 Well honestly I don't think the men that women dream about include all these problems. It sounds like there is absolutely no communication between you two. If he indeed is a good father to your children and otherwise a decent person, then you can deal with this difficulty. Perhaps you need a middle arbitrator to help sort your feelings out into a form that both sides can understand. I don't think the answer is going to be found in the bedroom. If this man is to be a permanent part of your life now, you both need to open up and really SPEAK to one another. Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Posted April 5, 1999 Share Posted April 5, 1999 I hate to respond to your problem by posting my own, but maybe I will provide some insight into what is going on in your man's head. Our sex life has severly dropped off recently (18-24 months) and every time I bring up the subject, she has some excuse. Too tired, to much stress, the pill is causing it etc. She has even gone to the doctor. My question for you is how you have explained to him why there is no sex. Do your come up with excuses to avoid saying "your boring". In my situation, I am searching for the reason, and it could be that "im boring", because I don't like to leave the house. Thanks for your post though because you have given me something else to try. As much as I hate the idea, I will plan a trip to somewhere. I am in love with a wonderful man...great father, faithful, extremely caring and has similar goals for his life as I do. Then what is the problem? ... he is absolutely boring!!! We never go anywhere because he claims money problems or no time but this has been for 3 years. We have a nonexisting sex life because I refuse to have sex with him because I am not enjoying it. Nothing has changed no matter how much we talk, discuss and share feelings or try new and kinky things. I want to end the relationship, but is that worth losing the kind of man most women only dream of having...a good man and father? Link to post Share on other sites
Coo Posted April 9, 1999 Share Posted April 9, 1999 I would like to think that there is always a way to salvage a relationship that has lost it's flame. Not only is it your husbands duty to be a good man and father, but one of is top priorities is to make you happy.Have you ever just tooken your husband somewhere, hugged him and told him how you love him but that right now you feel that your relationship is being took for granted. He needs, as much as you do, to feel loved, so maybe you may have to take the first step and make reservations for a night on the town for only you two.Rent a hotel room, buy something sexy to wear, make some sort of effort to rev things up a bit between you two. It would be fun to at least see how he reacts and see how things could possibly change. But try something, just dont give up on him yet. It takeslonger for some men to rewalize that something is wrong in a relationship. Goodluck! Link to post Share on other sites
heather Posted April 11, 1999 Share Posted April 11, 1999 I am in love with a wonderful man...great father, faithful, extremely caring and has similar goals for his life as I do. Then what is the problem? ... he is absolutely boring!!! We never go anywhere because he claims money problems or no time but this has been for 3 years. We have a nonexisting sex life because I refuse to have sex with him because I am not enjoying it. Nothing has changed no matter how much we talk, discuss and share feelings or try new and kinky things. I want to end the relationship, but is that worth losing the kind of man most women only dream of having...a good man and father? hi monique. you've been on my mind all week. my earlier message was very closed minded and harsh - sorry. what i wanted to say was that what you're going thru happens to a lot of us. but in a man's mind sex is #1. if you were to give him sex would he be more open to your concerns? the way i am understanding what your saying is that you've had all you can take and i hope that you don't go outside the marriage looking for something more fulfilling - that will make your problems even worse and it won't do anything good for your piece of mind. he sounds like a person who is basically good, but maybe he thinks that since you two are together and have children you won't leave. be careful not to move too quickly and lose what in hindsight will have been losing someone wonderful forever. don't go burnin' any bridges thinking the grass is greener somewhere else very best wishes and keep us informed if you can. take care Link to post Share on other sites
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