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Argue A Lot, is it normal/is it me?


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Might be long, but please try and help :).

Me and my "girl" friend, we are best friends sort of speak, argue a heck lot lately out of anything. I feel like it's breaking us apart, and idk if it's me or just her, but honestly i mostly blame her :|. Could be wrong. (we had some feelings for each other long ago, nothing serious).

 

As best friends, she confides to me her secrets, her problems, I tell her my problems, we help each other.

I always try to help and give advice when she comes to me with problems, she says i seem stuck up and that i act like a "know it all" with my advices, wich irritates her often.

Anyhoo LATELY, it's been the same problem that arises for most of our arguments.

She is like "I DO WHAT I WANT, noone tells me what to do" "Not you, not anyone" blabla, every damn time.

It's not like i order her arround, i just give advice when she comes with problems at me, if she doesn't want my advice why bother me in the first place.

And if i don't giver her advice, she complains that i am not supporting her...make up your mind allready.

 

But she does listen to someone's adivce like a lapdog, whatever that person says is "DIVINE" to her, and does it right away, I MEAN ANYTHING, told her to not talk with some friends and break it up, she did it on the spot. So i mentioned that to her with mean intention..was iritated. "You listen to everything that person says, maybe i should give her my advice so he can pass it on to you, for such a independent person, you sure do everything you are "ordered"". Well what did you expect, she snaped.

 

Anyway had a stupid heated up argument for a few hours when she finally snaped and just said "you are like all the others" and started insulting me after wich she left. SHe has few friends, she pretty much argues with everybody.

 

 

What to do?

Am i wrong? I just think she overreacts all the time, and maybe doesn't listen because she doesn't respect me anymore.

I would prefer to "fix" her bad temper if possible, anything i could do or say?

 

We do get along well most of the time, it's just that these arguments are increasing.

Edited by FrostBlaze
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Try telling her you will only talk to her when she can act normal and calm, remove yourself from the situation and stick to my first advice. Show her you mean business and hopefully she will realise just how stupid she is acting.

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the best advice for this circumcstance is to shut up , listen and let her problem solve. Its a listening skill a good teacher guides the students with. Its called problem solving. And you do not need to feel that you have to FIX her, she isnt damaged goods, she is simply lacking in thinking for herself. Feedback can be in the form of one word pauses while she rants.

 

she sounds toxic at this point, so be aware of that.

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